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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC 270: Love Stinks

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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

Do you love me? by boinky33
9-07-02
Do you love me?
Is the pope catholic?
So boinky goes off to ask his priest.
Is the pope catholic?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Excuse me....

Honey by boinky33
9-07-02
Honey, We have to break up.
What? Why?
Well......I'm a lesbian!
That's okay. I don't mind. Let's fuck.

A shoulder to cry on by boinky33
9-13-02
I can't believe she left me, Paul. I really thought we had something special, you know? I don't know what to do now. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I'm so depressed.
BANG!!!!!!

girlfriend by boinky33
10-03-02
How's it going with your girlfriend?
Well, she said she wants a long distant relationship.
Oh?
Yeah, she told me to go to hell.

What SHE says by boinky33
10-05-02
I've been thinking about our future, and I think it's best for the both of us if you get a vesectomy.
What HE hears.
I can't stop thinking about your balls!

12-22-04 11:35am (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

first impressions suck anus by boinky33
11-08-02
Hey, I'm Ryan.
I'm Janet.
So..........Do you swallow?

trouble in paradise by boinky33
11-24-02
I hate you!
I hate you more!
I hope you drop dead!
I hope it's while I'm driving you somewhere!

This comic is a comic by boinky33
11-30-02
Excuse me.
Yes?
Will you lay spread-eagle on a bed of nails, rub cream cheese on your box while singing: Yankee Doodle Dandy while I beat off?
WHAT??????
I'm joking .... You don't have to sing.
Phew! You had me worried there for a second.

careful what you say during sex by boinky33
1-10-03
Oh god! Oh god! OH GOD!!!!
What?
Moh?

love squirrels by boinky33
2-15-03
I love you, Martha.
And I love you, Charlie.
We shall be together always.
Yes, we shall.
Squish!
NOOOO!!!!!!
Yeah, that's the stuff!

12-22-04 11:55am (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

video dating service by boinky33
2-16-03
User #12674
I guess you could say that I'm an adventurous guy. You know, I like sky diving and all that stuff. I'm also quite the romantic. Walks on the beach, writing poems. I think I'm a pretty average guy.
But I do enjoy the occasional ear fuck.

love love love by boinky33
5-21-03
Do you love me?
Of course not.
Aw, why not?
You just killed my grandmother.
It was self-defense!

love making by boinky33
6-01-03
Do you love me?
No.
But we just made love.
Your point being?

phone sex by boinky33
6-14-03
Was it good for you?

thinking pick-up lines by boinky33
6-14-03
Hey baby, wanna do the dirty samba?
Hey baby, wanna do the dirty samba?
It sounded so good in my head.

12-22-04 12:00pm (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

boinky33's sex life by boinky33
6-14-03

boinky's diary: my crush by boinky33
6-14-03
I have a big crush on this girl at school. Her name is Mary Sue and she smells like vanilla.
Whenever I see her jumping up and down, my underpants get tight. I tried to talk to her today, but I got nervous and pooped myself.
Then later a bunch of jocks beat me with their math text-books behind the school. But it wasn't all bad. I found a quarter afterwards.

The Grim Reaper visits his past lovers by boinky33
6-16-03
*Sigh*

BJ buddies! by boinky33
6-26-03
Hey.
Yes?
If you give me a blow job, I'll give you something back in return.
What?
A snack.

(they just had sex) by boinky33
6-26-03
Do you smoke after sex?
Yes.
Good.
Ziiiip!!!!
You can start with my pole.

12-22-04 12:07pm (new)
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thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

I've never bothered entering one of these before, so why start trying now? Thanks to BigFrank's momentary lapse of judgement, I'll just do a boinky!

I've never used these lines... by thochaos
10-05-03
So baby, how about you and I play a quick game of "hide the salami"?
That's sick dude! I'm only 13!
That's cool babe. I'm old enough for the both of us.
Um ok then, wait here a minute...
Fuck.

Does this make me prolific? by thochaos
10-02-03
Well here we are at the Whitehouse!
...
See? I keep my promises!
sob sob sob
What's the matter?
When you said if I did your homework you'd show me bush, this is NOT what I had in mind!

No, this never happened to me... by thochaos
10-02-03
Boo hoo hoo!
Geez! I thought if I had sex with you, you'd quit crying!
Waaaaaaah!
What the hell is wrong now!?
You didn't tell me you were a guy!
You didn't ask!

Woman < Computer ?? by thochaos
10-03-03
I'm leaving you. You never pay me any attention, you never ask me how my day is. You never even talk to me! I think you love that computer more than you love me!
No, that's not true at all! I really love you!
Really? Sometimes I find that so hard to believe.
Let's talk about this. You're far more important to me than this computer! There is nothing in this world that means mo- OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! FUCKING CAMPER!! *Ahem* Now as I was saying...
... Hello?

Corn-holed Parole-board by thochaos
10-03-03
Last night, me and my girlfriend were getting intimate for the first time. But as I finished undressing, she took one look at me and ran screaming into the night.
I was devastated.
Still, it made a nice change from the usual pointing and laughing.

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"
12-22-04 6:03pm (new)
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thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

more is less

When Phone Sex Goes Bad by thochaos
10-05-03
So what are you wearing?
Depends.
On what?
No, "Depends". I've gotten a little incontinent in my old age.

Salvation! by thochaos
10-05-03
I'm in trouble now. I tried to have sex with a 13 year old girl and she told the cops!
Please let me out! I'm really sorry for what I did! I mean it. I'm a changed man!
Besides, I don't like the way that this priest is looking at me.

At the Pearly Gates by thochaos
10-05-03
Welcome to Heaven!
Jesus? Heaven? Then... I'm dead!? But I can't be, I'm still a virgin!
Hahahahaha! You big loser!
Why are you laughing at me Jesus?
Even I got nailed before I died!
Boo hoo hoooo

The not so triumphant return by thochaos
10-09-03
For the last time, no I will not go out with you!
Why the hell not?
Your nuts!
No I'm not!
No, your fly's undone and I can see your balls.
Oh.

Balls, Holmes. by thochaos
10-10-03
Hey there beautiful, how about I buy you a drink?
Do you know your balls are hanging out?
Of course. It's all part of my new "Shock & Awe" pick-up strategy.
So the sight of your shrivelled up nutsack is supposed to help you get laid?
Yeah... Don't you want to jump me, right here, right now?
No, but I have a sudden craving for dried apricots...

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"
12-22-04 6:05pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

flood

I was at this party by thochaos
10-10-03
Dude, this party is going off! Hey who was that girl you came with?
Her? She's my sister!
You came to a party with your sister? Man that's lame!
Nah it's all good.
How so?
At least this way I know I'm gonna get laid!

Actually, she'd probably just slap me. by thochaos
10-17-03
Amber, I've known you for a year now and you still won't have sex with me!
And you're surprised?
What do you mean by that?
Just look at you! You need to tidy up your appearance, get a decent job and stop hitting on every girl you see and maybe then I'd consider it.
Can't I just pay you for sex?
That could work too.

She'd probably hit me too by thochaos
10-17-03
I wasn't serious when I said I'd have sex with you for money.
But... I have $100 right here!
What kind of person would sell their body, for any amount of money?
Shhh! Nikki's behind you!
Did someone mention $100?
Oh right... that kind of person.

I miss a lot of parties =( by thochaos
10-17-03
Hey man. I'm having a party this Saturday. You should definitely come!
Great! Is it okay if I bring my new lady friend?
By "lady friend" do you mean that transsexual pygmy hooker you met at the train station?
Yeah, that's her.
HELL NO!
Dang.

Why I'm single. by thochaos
10-17-03
Hey good looking! Can I buy you a drink?
Piss off, perv.
So baby, fancy coming home with me?
Hell no!
I want a divorce.
You're still here?

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"
12-22-04 6:09pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

spam

Something for the ladies #1 by thochaos
10-17-03
Hey Laura, I have something for you.
What is it?
Not telling.
Ok, then where is it?
In my pants!
I don't want it!

Something for the ladies #2 by thochaos
10-17-03
Hey, Mikayla, I have something for you!
Cool! What is it?
Close your eyes and hold out your hand.
Ok.
I was sure that would work.

Something for the ladies #3 by thochaos
10-17-03
Hey Sam, wanna see my big cock?
Why not? I've got nothing better to do.
Just give me a second.
Sure.
Hi!
I'm leaving now.

I don't think she's coming back by thochaos
10-21-03
You remember how when we broke up and you said you'd never get back together with me? Do you still mean it?
Of course I do! The way you just dumped me for no good reason still pisses me off!
I see.
How about now?

Scott Baio by thochaos
11-01-03
For a while I was dating a porn star. As you might imagine, the sex was incredible.
Unfortunately we grew apart and we had to break up.
Besides, I don't think she liked coming home from work and finding me with her dildos up my ass.

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"
12-22-04 6:13pm (new)
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thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

banning time

Thank you KLW! by thochaos
11-01-03
Tonight has been amazing.
Honestly? I heard you only liked girls with big breasts and I've been worried about that all night.
You more than make up for that in other areas.
Really?
Yeah, your ass is friggin' huge!

A day in the life of Adam Smith by thochaos
11-03-03
Lately you're all I think about. I think there's something between us and we owe it to ourselves to explore that further.
I'm sorry but I'm just not interested.
Lately you're all I think about. I think there's something between us and we owe it to ourselves to explore that further.
Hell no!
Lately you're all I think about. I think there's something between us and we owe it to ourselves to explore that further.
Amber and Nikki must have turned you down fast today. It's not usually my turn until after lunch.

Real Life Situation by thochaos
11-06-03
There's this girl I really like, but I can never tell her directly. What should I do?
Ok, here's what you do...
3 hours later...
Thanks a whole bunch for that.
Any time.
Oh crap! I hope she doesn't think it's her.
Oh God! I hope it's not me.

Good Sex by thochaos
11-06-03
Last night I had a threesome with 2 beautiful swedish models. But when I woke up this morning they had turned into a puddle in my bed.
My friend Bob said it was probably just a wet dream.
I think Bob's a jealous asshole.

If your name is Amber, don't read this strip! by thochaos
11-09-03
I won't tell anyone the truth about what happened between us on the beach the other night.
But nothing happened!
I know and that's what I won't tell the truth about!

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"
12-22-04 6:15pm (new)
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thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

...and less is more

Last night was a disaster by thochaos
11-11-03
So after the romantic candle-lit dinner, I put on some Barry White and we started dancing, you know, all slow and close and shit.
Sweet, then what?
Then it started heating up and we tore each others clothes off and headed for the couch.
Cool! So you finally banged her?
Nah, just then my girlfriend walked in.
Man I hate when that happens!

Rubik's Cube by thochaos
11-13-03
Have I told you that you look good tonight?
No, no you haven't.
Thank fuck for that!
There's a lesson to be learned here, methinks.

I said I wasn't going to do this by thochaos
12-05-03
Are you all right? Lately you seem kinda depressed.
I really miss Molly.
I didn't realise you two were so close.
It's not that...
I just really miss looking at her tits.

Smooth by thochaos
12-08-03
Oh man, there's that girl I like! I better act cool.
Hey, how are you doing?
I HAVE AN ERECTION!
Smooth.

Part reality, part fantasy by thochaos
12-10-03
So I was with this girl and I started talking about my ex.
Then I got all emotional and started crying. But instead of comforting me, the girl left! What was up with that?
Dude, think about it.
Oh... So she was jealous!
You're a lost cause.

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"
12-22-04 6:21pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

I feel sorry for those of you on dial up. Truly.

Fumble by thochaos
12-10-03
I'm glad I agreed to give you a second chance. Tonight was great and this sunset is just so special, I completely forgive you for last time.
You know who else loved sunsets?
Don't you dare say it!
My ex-girlfriend.
THAT'S IT! I'M LEAVING!
You know who else left me? My ex-*sob sob sob*

Sincerity like this gets me all the girls by thochaos
1-07-04
I love you. You are all I ever think about. Since the moment I met you, I knew you were the one.
You complete me.
Wait, maybe I'm thinking of your sister.

Fuck I need to rewrite this one! Ugh!
God I Love Her by thochaos
1-12-04
Things haven't been going well with my girlfriend lately, so I decided to sit down and talk with her.
I told her I feel like the guy in a movie who is dating the girl all the way through even though you know she's gonna end up with the lead eventually.
She told me she saw me as more of a "horrible death scene, audience applauds" kind of guy.

Concerning Sam by thochaos
1-20-04
I think Sam is cute.
She is.
Yep, she's a real cutie, she is.
I agree, she's a very attractive girl.
Yeah, I'd love to have lesbian sex with her.
Nice try.

Concerning Sam by thochaos
1-20-04
I think Sam is cute.
She is.
Yep, she's a real cutie, she is.
I agree, she's a very attractive girl.
Yeah, I'd love to have lesbian sex with her.
Nice try.

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"
12-22-04 6:25pm (new)
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thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

And if my spammage wasn't bad enough, I've started double posting comics! JEEZ!

Concerning Sam (2) by thochaos
1-20-04
So what exactly were you trying to do there?
I was hoping that by fooling you into saying that you wanted to have sex with Sam, it would release your latent lesbian tendencies resulting in us having a 3-way.
I see. And why would you be involved?
It was my idea!

drunk by thochaos
11-21-04
Hey there I am. Wait, what am I doing?
Oh yes, I remember this part...
I don't even know who you are! Leave me alone!
Thass intressin wanna sssee my dick? YEAAAAAAHHHH!
Oh fuck no!
Wait, it gets better! Oh no, no it gets worse.

Okay I'm done. The worst part is, most of these strips are based on actual evens in my life. I should win by default due to my incredibly bad luck with women. And by bad luck I mean retardness.

I will try and come up with a new, legitimate entry soon.

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"
12-22-04 6:30pm (new)
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BigFrank105
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

Okay, let's put the limit on. I had no idea boinky and chaos would post THAT MANY arched strips, so if you guys wanna get on my good side, just don't post any more (please) and make something original. boinky, i know you can.

12-22-04 9:35pm (new)
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Scyess
Official Traveling Menstrual

Member Rated:

On the other hand, boinky's strips were awesome.

I'll do you a favor and not post the 600 comics I've already made about love's stinking. Here's one new one, though:

Enjoy the Scenery by Scyess
12-23-04
I'm thinking about getting back on the dating scene.
"Back"? I didn't know you were ever on the dating scene to begin with.
Can you be on the dating scene without ever having had any actual dates?
I guess I don't mean "dating scene" so much as "increasing my desperate longing for women."

---
"Old" is the old new.
12-23-04 12:42am (new)
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areallystupidguy
Poison Gas Pokemon

Member Rated:

Here's to hoping somebody hasn't done this idea already...

Love really stinks. by areallystupidguy
12-23-04
dude, this stuff is RANCID!
hey, if you don't want the love potion i can take it back, you know.

---
It's grime time.
12-23-04 9:48am (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

I thought boinky33 was too young to be that scarred. Some of us, on the other hand ...

CC 270: Cruel and Unusual by kaufman
12-23-04
Okay, where are you?
She liked my ad, said I was obviously very funny, said she wanted to meet me on the beach at noon. So where is she?
This happens every time. Just call me the stand-up comic.

CC 270: Boowrong by kaufman
12-23-04
It's because I'm black, isn't it!

CC 270: She Was Only A Bleached Blonde by kaufman
12-23-04
It's not hard. If you see a pretty girl in a bar, just buy her a drink.
Okay, I'll give it a try.
I'd like to buy a drink for the lady at the end over there.
I'll go and tell her.
So, tell me, what happened?
She ordered a Rum and Clorox.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com
12-23-04 1:52pm (new)
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boinky33
I'm with stupid ^

Member Rated:

I'll try to make a few new comics, but I'm not promising anything.

12-23-04 2:02pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

CC 270: The Love Goat -- 1 by biped
12-23-04
Hi, Yvonne! Just thought I'd leave another message to let you know that I love you. I love you, I love you I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
"Hi, everybody. I'm Ken Ferguson."

CC 270: The Love Goat -- 2 by biped
12-23-04
Today I'll demonstrate how to delicately grout expensive Italian tile with a standard trowel.
But first, I'd just like to say -- I love you, Yvonne. I love you, I love you I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
"I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU"
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

CC 270: The Love Goat -- 3 by biped
12-23-04
"I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU"
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE Well everybody, sorry we don't have time to learn about how to grout Italian tile today.

CC 270: The Love Goat -- 4 by biped
12-23-04
PICKLES! A DOLLAR APIECE! GETCHER PICKLES RIGHT HERE!
Leave me alone.
"Well, folks...bye, now...for the last time..."

CC 270: The Love Goat -- 5 by biped
12-23-04
Hi, Yvonne! Just thought I'd leave a message to let you know I'm killing myself! **BANG!!!**
It's your fault Kenny killed himself. I hate you.
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.
12-23-04 2:30pm (new)
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areallystupidguy
Poison Gas Pokemon

Member Rated:

An old series.

Sam deals with relationship problems: part 1 by areallystupidguy
7-30-03
Hippie, you my best and only friend. can you give me advice on how to deal with my girlfriend who's been cheating on me?
i suggest you should try to forget it all. try to forget her and move on. there will be other girls. and if you still feel anger at her, try to use the ancient chinese arts to calm you body and soul.
im gonna stop talking to you.
see? now ill just FORGET you, and move on. how peaceful! the world is a beautiful place.

sam deals with relaionship problems: part 2 by areallystupidguy
7-30-03
hey jason. um...can i ask you for help? see, i just found out my girlfriend was cheating on me, and-
say no more. i think you should show no anger towards her right now, so when she dies, it'll be harder for the cops to suspect you.
then, when you grow up and learn the proper use of firearms and possibly some bladed weaponry, you can get your just revenge.
wow...i have some weird friends...
heck, for 20 bucks i could take care of your little problem right now. do you know where she lives?

sam deals with relationship problems: part 3 by areallystupidguy
7-30-03
alright, first of all quit calling her your freaking girlfriend since she obviously isnt. then quit yo freakin whining about her! its not the end of the world you pansy-ass son of a whore! and then...
i knew i shouldn't have asked you.

sam kills his cheating girlfriend: part 4 by areallystupidguy
7-30-03
oh wonderful joy! sam has a letter from his cheating girlfriend! his friends support him!
hmm..? she says in this letter she wants to talk to me!
so? like i care? ive got bigger things to worry about you worthless loser.
so...why did you want us to meet in this graveyard?
so i wouldnt have to drag you body very far! im sorry to have to do this...but you leave me no choice...
about 4 hours later...
...and thats how i saved 20 bucks.
you heartless bastard. i could have used that money.

Now wasn't that FUNNY?! HAHAHAHA!

---
It's grime time.
12-23-04 5:20pm (new)
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Scyess
Official Traveling Menstrual

Member Rated:

Let's Get Physical! by Scyess
12-23-04
Tataki... I'm beginning to fear I may never know the pleasures of physical love.
But you WILL be able to know the pleasures of physical humor! HAAIIYYAAA!!
AWK!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!
Somehow, it just doesn't seem the same.

Let's Get Physical! Alternate Ending by Scyess
12-24-04
Tataki... I'm beginning to fear I may never know the pleasures of physical love.
But you WILL be able to know the pleasures of physical humor! HAAAIII...
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!
Somehow, it just doesn't seem the same.
Unfortunately, it kind of is.
I was afraid of that.

Good luck judging this mess.

---
"Old" is the old new.
12-24-04 12:02am (new)
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Inflatable_Man
Heart stopper. Hip hopper. Pill popper.

Member Rated:

Hey look! I actually have a current comic!! (perhaps a pretty drunken and incoherent one, but still...)

---
Destroying my reputation one post at a time.
12-24-04 12:25am (new)
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SpideyChris
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

I don't need to get on Frank's good side! HE LOVES ME OMIGOD YAY!

Anyway.

Irony goddamn sucks. by SpideyChris
12-24-04
Hi. I'm a sensitive, intelligent man who'll honestly care about your feelings and want to make you happy.
That's so sweet! I'll cry on your shoulder about all the assholes I'm infatuated with.
What the hell am I doing wrong...? Maybe I should try what everyone else is doing.
I'm your fucking king. Fuck you, whore. Fuck me?
Leave me alone.

---
Use your weapons, they are designed to inflict damage!
12-24-04 3:29am (new)
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TheGovernor
Talentless Hack

Member Rated:

Beginnings #1 by TheGovernor
11-04-02
Ok there she is, just remember what you practiced...."I really like you, I think you're great, would you like to go out with me?"
Boobies!

first ever strip ;)
Nice to be able to use it in comp.
12-24-04 8:14am (new)
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possums
FERN DESTROYER

Member Rated:

Relationships by possums
8-03-04
I like your voice.
Why is it you always say things like that? "I like your feet. I like your hair. I like your eyelids." Now my VOICE?!?! How do you get off?!?!
I can fuck sound.

Be Careful What You Wish For by possums
12-24-04
Whoa! That genie must have granted my wish!
That means that I'm in my first successful marriage!
HONEY, I IS HOME!!!
AWWW FUCK!!!

Eh.

12-24-04 12:41pm (new)
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BigFrank105
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

Wow, a lot of good entries. Just remember to get em all in by monday night for the final judging.

12-24-04 2:57pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

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diesel sweeties
jerkcity
exploding dog
goats
ko fight club
penny arcade
chopping block 		also
Brad Sucks