Comic Competitin 286: I blame google by mandingo 6-23-05

James you've been keeping bad company ever since you returned from Camp Kill Yourself and joined the Bmx Bandits branch of the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.Just look at that motorhead misfit behind you ivory? Because of her my bratmobile doesnt idle wild anymore--its a boss hog! Her, Muff Potter(despite a 3 hog night), even Sugar Ray and Murry the Hump(Sugar'd just done 7, Murry 3). They all helped! AND YOU WILL KNOW US BY THE TRAIL OF DEAD. DEATH IN VEGAS, GRATEFUL DEAD, ESCAPING THE MADNESS OF THE DISMEMBERMENT PLAN. GOD'S PLAN. SPEAK AND GOD DOES SMASH MOUTH, START TO SEE, DILATE PEOPLE GOD SMACKS JANE FOR HER IRON MAIDEN, HATING JANE'S ADDICTION, HATING JANE'S LIE. GOD CATCHES HANNAH SELLING THIRTY ODD FOOT OF GRUNTS TO SNEAKER PIMPS FOR 50 CENTS AND A NICKEL BACK. GOD KILLS HANNAH I hate to sling mud, honey,but she's a motorpsycho.She bathes in everclear and if you say 'cake' she turns deep purple roaring a primal scream. I know its infatuation but let this crazy horse run free Oh but to slip her the badfinger, butthole surf her, then ramjam my revolting cock into her hot tuna, turning the beaver brown. Maybe I can if i play it cool... Like dad said "Ladies love cool, James"

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what if nigger meant kite

I lied.

CC 286: Band Names by HCRoyall 6-24-05

Fire in the Disco! Fire in the Disco! Fire At the Taco Bell! What? The Electric Six on the motel sign next door sparked it.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC 286: I Can't Believe it's Not Butter by Hari_Nezumi 6-24-05

Doc, I wanna start up on Viagra. What for, Adam? What the hell do you mean "What for"? Here, take a look at my penis! If it'll make you feel better... Wow, that's one Limp Biskit.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

CC286: I Can't Go To The Store For That (No Can Do) by JamesSchlong 6-24-05

Honey, I'm going to the store. Is there anything you want? Some cough drops and oatmeal! I need some Halls and Oats.

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Ohh, James.

Not another one...? by CrunchyCheese 6-24-05

Hey, are you Molly Hatchett Nope, we're the Cutting Crew

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

CC 286: Birdhouse In My Soul by umfumdisi 6-25-05

Ow, Doc, my stomach still really hurts. Did the X-rays come back? Yes, it appears that you have small, segmented insects crawling throughout your digestive system. You mean? Yes. They might be G.I. ants.

CC 286: Local Bands Count, Right? by umfumdisi 6-25-05

Dagnabit, I say we should take the path. Sonofabitch, I say we should take the way. The path! The way! Gee, Dad, I thought we were going to see some football. My fault, son, these are the Taoist Cowboys.

I don't think the first one needs verification, but here's a link to the Taoist Cowboys.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Band bnames

So whats the big deal? I mean just jump the wall and get your mexican radio back. But its a Wall of Voodoo

by crabby, 6-26-05

band bnames

I just don't see the reason we need to go visit your mother for the 4th of July. I mean she's Canadian. Its just Madness. I haven't seen her since her Twisted Sister died.

by crabby, 6-26-05

Band bnames. by crabby 6-26-05

What cereal mascot really turns you on? I mean I'm being serious. Which one really turns you on? MatchBox 20. Thats not a cereal. No, but it is a lucky charm.

Band bnames

This war is really just pissing me off. What are you talking about? Being on the set for the new Cheap Trick video is a dream come true!

by crabby, 6-26-05

Band bnames

When I agreed to visit your House of Pain The moon isn't what I had in mind. Is the moon good enough to at least get me to 3rd Base?

by crabby, 6-26-05

CC 286: Not winning this will be easy. by Tterb 6-26-05

I was nailed to a cross so jerks like you could get a Stairway to Heaven. Yea and it seems like you won't let me forget that.

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horray for life. boo.

CC Something... by BigFrank105 6-27-05

Attention all people! We must Rise Against the corporations and let out our Rage Against the Machine! Rising up the government? Hah! That's not quite the Story of the Year! There's more important things to worry about! Not quite! Our Offspring deserve to experience a heightened state of Nirvana! Why are you so concerned about "the children" anyway? Children are the only things that seem to harden my Limp Bizkit, if you know what I mean... You won't have to worry about that getting any bigger anyway. I'd say it's still Less Than Jake.

CC 286: Blasphemous as Usual by BigFrank105 6-27-05

Jesus has been up there for weeks. He smells Rancid! That's what I call a Rotting Christ.

CC286: Fuzzical Graffiti by UnknownEric 6-28-05

*Tsk* Another Blues Explosion.

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I has a flavor!

CC 286: Improving Home Improvment by Hari_Nezumi 6-28-05

Congradulations to this year's Talent Show winner, Ling Mai! Thank you. Ling, you've won a year's supply of Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup! All you have to do is take a bow to your adoring fans! I'm sorry, but my English is not good. Can you say that again, only, what is the word, simpler? Bow, Ling, for soup!

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

CC 286: Flesh for Fantasy by niteowl 6-28-05

I walked into the club. There was Pussy Galore, and a cavalcade of Revolting Cocks. Then I saw her. She had luscious, Flaming Lips, Nine Inch Nails, and an adorable little Spooky Tooth. I could hardly stop my Rapid Eye Movement as I gazed upon her Flesh...for Lulu, however, this was nothing new, she was used to creatures young and old staring her down. My One-Eyed Jack started to stir as she walked towards me. Her soft, Pink skin made my Wang Chung. Head East, Mr. Bungle did not go...oh no, he headed straight north. She coyly asked me if I would buy her a shot of Everclear. I stammered, "There's a Hole in my Heart that can only be filled by you." She then punched me in the Belly and said, "I hate Extreme!" Then she walked off. I wasn't surprised though. I have bad luck with women. I constantly put my Blackfoot in my Smashmouth when I encounter them. I really wish Rolling Stone would stop with their version of the Penthouse letters.

Some band links:
Pussy Galore
One-Eyed Jack

The rest of the bands should be familiar (sounding, at least) to you.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

CC 286: what if nigger meant who by mandingo 6-29-05

i hear you're going to see a band tonight. nigger's playing? that's right no, i'm asking you, nigger? that's right, nigger. why would you be asking if you already knew the answer? the nigger? the nigger, that's nigger are you fuckin witth my head? nigger me?

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what if nigger meant kite

No Animals Were Harmed in the Making of this Comic by kaufman 6-29-05

Your Majesty, the executioner's about to chop off the head of that dog! How can you let that take place? Your heart's not that empty, eh? Let it be duly noted that that cur urinated in my metal forest. He defiled my finest stannous birch. For that, he must die. Later... Because he peed on the King's tin tree. Oh.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC286: 11th i think: a primate's soul by mohy 6-29-05

Avril Lavigne has reportedly engaged to Sum 41 goofball Deryck Whibley Ask me if I care? It is for contest So, stop wasting the readers time theres prizes don;t you think Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley make such a perfect couple?

Tom Dooley approves of this comic.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

CC 286: Talking a bunch of "God-smack" by OmniMarconi67 6-29-05

Meanwhile at the Creedence Clearwater Revival in Kansas... Judas Priest !...And I thought I got away from all The Shit like this when I left Chicago... ...And I say repent now and forever bask in your New Found Glory, or Kiss your ass goodbye! Excuse me, but by what Unwritten Law must I adhere to your Creed? Do you honestly expect me to spend the rest of my life in fear of a guy with Nine Inch Nails in his hands? Silence you blasphemer! You must forsake Bad Company and come into the light, or spend the rest of eternity on the Frozen Earth by the banks of Styx ! Where are you going in such a Rush? Somewhere where this fundamentalist popycock will never cross my ears again...Boston !

The Shit

And can anyone tell me how to do itallics in the strip itself?

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If you do just one thing in life, then you need to get out more and expand your horizons. Honestly, that one thing can't possibly take-up all your time.

Like this

Italics!!!

Minus the stars.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

Band Names.I Got Your Band Names by russman 6-30-05

It was a "Three Dog Night", The "Beatles" scurried, and were eaten by the "Turtles", who were being ridden by "Monkees"... Jeez, can't you just say that the "Animals" were running around. Come on, to win these contests you've got to throw out lots of "The Band" names. Who are you kidding. You don't even know how to post this in the forum anyway. And do you really expect people to remember "Who" "The Band" was. Russ, lost his nerve and decided not to show the young man his "Badfinger" I just wanted to be one of the "Boys" You are pathetic.

I thought I would give it a try.

Wow, im quite shocked at how many entries there were, and the sheer quality of the entries. Lots of funny and inventive stuff from everyone. In the end I went with Niteowl's Flesh for Fantasy for not only the quantity, but for a strip that made me laugh. Not to mention his inclusion of one of my favorite bands, Mr Bungle. Congrats Niteowl and well done all.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

I should have quit while I was ahead. I think my first one was by far the best of my entries.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Excellent! Thanks, pope. New contest will be up sometime today.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Awesome.

I felt it was the Flesh For Lulu reference that made me feel I was reading a postcard from paradise, delivered by mortal hands...

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I has a flavor!