Mudhen Van Buren by kaufman 10-19-01

The United States has the BEST armed forces in the entire world. You know why? Because we don't have LIBERALS and GAYS serving their country, only good red-blooded Americans I never thought I'd say this, but we should all thank HILLARY CLINTON for not enlisting.

For those of you outsid the US, or who have otherwise never been exposed to "Mallard Fillmore", you now know what you're missing.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 74: A comic about the terrorist who sank by kaufman 10-19-01

The US soldier has conquered the Afghan terrorist and is now telling the prisoner his fate. Because you're an Afghan terrorist, I sentence you to spend the rest of your life at the bottom of the ocean. The Afghan terrorist is drowning, but a shark is going to eat him. Also, the terrorist has an eel coming out of his ear. Help, help, I can't breathe, I am drowning and an eel is swimming through my head.. There is an Afghan terrorist. I think I will eat him. There is a nuclear war and bombs are dropped, and everyone is dying or turning into radoactive mutants. The end. The radiation from the nuclear bombs has made me into a mutant creature with feet where my ears are. Surprise! I am the Afghan terrorist but the nuclear bombs melted the sea and fused the eels swimming through my head to my face as well, so now I am a mutant too.

This is of course in the style of whomever that is that posts those big, redundant narration boxes in lousy comics. Of course, what makes this one even worse is the extra text in panel 3 caused the background in panel 2 to slide up, so the eel is no longer coming out of his ear, so the surprise ending is even more Ed Woodish.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

This is one I wrote a couple weeks ago, but it conveniently fits the criteria, so I think I'll submit it for the contest:

We're Looking For A Few Good Hobbyists by lemur68 9-30-01

So my company's been called up to active duty. I dunno how I feel about this. I mean, I love my country, and I'm willin' to fight to th' death to defend her. Prob'm is, I dunno how a buncha re-enactors shootin' blanks outta muskets is gonna be much of a match for th' enemy....

---
"America loves its kings, from George III to Larry." --HJS

CC74: In the Style of Kaufman by fuzzyman 10-19-01

10:00 AM: My meeting with Army Intelligence begins. You're the Army Intelligence officer I called? Yes, what is this incredibly destructive weapon you have for us? 10:01 AM: He has doubts, but I will win him over... I must! Right here! My little kitty! She can destroy any enemy with her special powers! You called me here to show me your cat? Are you insane? 10:02 AM: Success, and more narration, just for the heck of it. Her name is Vomitus Maximus. We'll take a thousand of them.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Strip Siege: Act I, scene 7 by Spankling 10-19-01

Gabe? Can you hear me Gabe? Asiangirl1, can you break through to his panel? If it was a splitter, maybe. But break through this? Can't keep sane much longer! Even a session with TOBOR couldn't be this bad! Yeah! Finally out to the other side. I think I've kicked it. Things are looking up! Get ready for WWIII son! You look ready to serve!

A poor attempt at following a boorite series.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

CC74 : I honestly have no idea. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 10-20-01

So i said to Obijo "Those US Miltary based stripcreator cartoon arent going to write themselves" Ha ha Ha ha ha Wirthling , what the fuck are you talking about.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC74 : Osama Bin Dilbert by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 10-20-01

Right. Lets See. Now , if the pointy haired boss doesnt give me another assignment , i might just be able to crack this Afghan communications satellite. Just a line of code here , and a quick piece of hacking here ....Voila! Maura , why does my hotmail account have 6400 emails for OsamaBinLaden@Hotmail.com ? Would you like me to show you how to use the "Junk Mail Filter" sir?

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC73 Just Do(ugan) It. by kramer_vs_kramer 10-20-01

Russel Crowe! What are you doing in this US Army barracks? I'm doing research for my latest film, where I play a gruff yet studly US Army recruit. Yes, but why are you going through the soldiers' underwear drawers? Um... I'm studying how such a close gathering of macho types is a breeding ground for homosexuality. I see... Want to play the biscuit game? Yeah, okay.

Dammit, I got the contest number wrong. I'm so glad I wasn't about when it was all roman numerals.

CC 74 - The Amazed Porno Gabe by gabe_billings 10-19-01

I'm against our war with the Taliban. Really? I'd have thought you'd be all for it. I would, except for one thing. What's that? WE WON'T HAVE ANY CRUISE MISSILES LEFT TO TAKE OUT THE FUCKING PROJECTS!

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

CC 74: Sachiko Says I'm ripping off DH-01 by NeoVid 10-20-01

It's time for Sachiko Says! The latest email we got says: "How can you even think about humor at a time like this? This is the time to clear our minds. Humor and anger are both bad ideas. Signed, Objector." See, you're overlooking one thing: real Americans don't think at times like this! That's commie talk you're spreading. So remember, never think or the military will send guys to your house some night! Sachiko says! Hee hee.

I thought of who to copy in no time, but it was actually really tough to write this one.

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

CC 74: In the spirit of (kramer_vs_kramer) by Drexle 10-20-01

Help, I'm stuck in a foxhole!!!

This is my entry in the style of Brad.

Thank you, thank you.

CC74: Self-Aware by fuzzyman 10-20-01

Ah, welcome to Stripcreator! I see you making strip for Comic Cup 74! We suggest strip in style of "Fuzzyman." First, add background of laboratory. He use that a lot. Very good! You follow instruction, just like good American soldier boy. Hup! Hup! Now, make oblique or overt sexual reference. If stumped, refer to bodily function. Poops and farts always funny! Wait! You use default asian girls in strip! Fuzzyman never use default asian girls before! Start over, dumbass!

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

CC74: Self-Aware II by fuzzyman 10-20-01

Okay, we back! You try again to make strip in style of "Fuzzyman" for Comic Cup 74. Now make funny funny strip with WIGU characters, just like Fuzzyman do! You go! Do! Neal, watching that "Marine Workout" video stirred someting inside me. I feel funny. Me too! I think there must have been subliminal messages! Suddenly I have the insatiable urge to lick the sweat off of smelly men in fatigues, caressing their muscular-- STOP! That not funny! That perverted! What kind of sicko are you? Drop and give me forty!

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

CC74: Self-Aware III (finale) by fuzzyman 10-20-01

Okay last lesson! We teach now to make strip like "Fuzzyman" for Comic Cup 74! Okay, today's lesson be "Quantity Not Quality." Make MANY entry into Comic Cup, then maybe you win. But probably not. Ah, I see you got that one already. You still dumbass, though.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

CC 74: If this were my style, I'd be anonymous too. by BigEvilDan 10-20-01

Missile Silo, USA, Earth, Universe Ocketray illway ornholecay In-ladenbay! ***Y3a|-|, Y0u G0 R0cke+!*** Ardonpay? ***| |)0|\|+ sp3/\K pIG 1a+i|\|. | sp3/\K |)0g 133+1N.*** ***lol lol*** Wait a second, who's style is this? With this trend of people hiding behind new user names? It'll be someone's style in a minute.

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

quote:

---

This is my entry in the style of Brad.

Thank you, thank you.

---

De Family Circus by kaufman 10-20-01

Mom, it's the USS Nimitz on the phone. They just got into port and want to know when you can shore leave them.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Cthy by kaufman 10-20-01

I'm going to a wedding this weekend. I need something elegant but not too dressy, warm without being too stuffy, and something that will attract men without making me look desperate. Here, ma'am, try one of these cat stoles. The dressing room's right over there. AAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!!! It made my thighs look fat. Which way to the Jenny Craig shop? Salespeople. We're the best at getting folks to stick to their diets.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC74: In the spirit of (Samir) 2.0 by Drexle 10-20-01

Hey man. Hey. How's it going? Not bad. I'm being sent to Afganistan, though. That sucks. Well, see ya. Bye.

CC 74: In the spirit of (Samir) by Drexle 10-20-01

Hey man. Hey. How's it going? Not bad. I am being sent to Afganistan, though. That sucks. Well, see ya. Bye.

See, it's funny both ways for different reasons and... eh, who am I kidding?

Love Means... by Spankling 10-20-01

...Never having to explain what you were doing with that red robot the night before. TOBOR take little charub like plane entering WTC! Not even Special Forces could do so much damage!

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

So I was tired. So I forgot to add the military theme on "Cthy". So it won't win. So what? It was fun to draw.

Plus I can always reload.

Good night.

More Cthy by kaufman 10-20-01

I'm going to a wedding this weekend. I need something elegant but not too dressy, warm without being too stuffy, and something that will attract men without making me look desperate. Here, ma'am, try one of these cat stoles. The dressing room's right over there. AAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!!! It made my thighs look fat. Which way to the Marine recruitment center? The little look-right-at-the-wedding outfit: no better recruitment tool has ever been invented.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

A newbie, entering this sacred contest? Could it be?!

Down by the mountainfront! by Scid 10-20-01

Presenting the ultimate in American War Technology: The smart bomb! Hello there, chap. You wouldn't happen to have seen MY pet, would you? Perhaps... What does it look like? Well. I suppose it's A.I. still needs some tweaking It's wears a robe, has a really really long beard, and it listens to the name Osama Bin Laden ...

I don't know any of your styles. Which means I can't mimic them either. Which was handy.

It's happened before.

Ignorance of the rules is no excuse to break them, bub... You've got a lot of reading to do.