Usually a contest needs more than 8 entries to justify a two week deadline...

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Poop.

Rabid_Weasle

Less, I assume you mean. And yeah, contests traditionally last about a week or a bit more, or else people 'forget about them' and then cease participating in them and in future ones.

No, I mean more.

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Poop.

his contest, his rules

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what if nigger meant kite

It burns when I pee.

CC 374: The FIIK Goblin edition by HCRoyall 11-22-07

You want to be Santa in the pageant? We've had a lot of auditions so far; what makes you special? What do you have that'll make the kids smile? Assrape? YOU'RE HIRED!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I took the "not enough entries yet, this bitch goes on another week and I'll get out my whips in the meantime" tact. I don't want to drag it out past its usefulness, but don't want to cut it off before everyone gets a chance to pee in the bucket.

So whip it out.  That includes any female women here.

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

CC 374. Francis Ford Copprolaphilia by Xuanwu 11-22-07

And what do you want for Christmas, little boy? A role in Godfather 4! A-are you sure? You've been good, so, I mean, that seems a little unfair... What do you mean? Part 4's going to be great! Let's just say I know where Coppola has been investing all the reindeer feces I've given him since Part 3. Sofia?

CC 374. "That's a Spicy Meatball!" by Xuanwu 11-22-07

Hey, Abe, have you seen - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! You had some antelope in the back, so I used some of them to make sausage for Christmas dinner! Those weren't antelope! Those were the reindeer! YOU'VE RUINED CHRISTMAS FOREVER! Oh... I guess I should've made burgers, instead.

CC 374. Now THAT'S How You Use a Yule Log by Xuanwu 11-23-07

So this is guaranteed the real thing, right? Genuine Christmas cheer in its most potent form! AH! YES! OH, GOD! UNNNNHH! DON'T STOP! AUGH! IT'S SOOO BIG! DEEPER! AAAAAAHHHHH! Care to play some reindeer games with my other chimney? Like the fat man says, "HO HO HO."

CC 374. Dr. Abe Vingele by Xuanwu 11-23-07

You know how Rudolph helps you get through fog with his nose light? Yep! I sure am grateful for it. Well, I found a way to make him twice as effective! Oh? How did you - DEAR GOD NO! Kill me... Kill me now...

Bah, the two halves ought to look connected.

X - You probably should have put the left-facing reindeer as character 4, the right-facing one as character 5, and Santa in position 6.  It'd match, though with a seam, but it's a valliant effort.  :)

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

so.....

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Kill Whitey.

cc374: 8 Abes a-milking by mandingo 11-28-07

*gulp* we're surrounded. and his hands are soooo cold and even his fingertips have hair! relax, we're not here to milk you we're here to claim Prima Nocte

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what if nigger meant kite

The Fuck-If-I-Know Christmas Special by HCRoyall 11-28-07

The lump of coal thing just isn't doing the trick anymore! I need something edgier, something to give the kids that they'll pay attention to! Herpes?

The Fuck-If-I-Know Christmas Special by HCRoyall 11-28-07

Rudolph, buddy. The wife's been cheatin' on me. I know she has. You hear a lot of what's going on; you gotta know who she's screwing. ...Not me? THAT FUCKING WHORE!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

At this writing, there are 18 hours left in this competition. Do or do not do, there is no try... oh wait, there is try, hmm, but just do.

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

The Fuck-If-I-Know Christmas Special by HCRoyall 11-30-07

Is there a reason you stuffed an unconscious cheerleader in my giant gingerbread house with a tag that says "Do not open 'till X-mas"? Surprise? Oh, you shouldn't have!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC 374: Merry Ex-Mas by Scyess 12-01-07

Do you like your present, honey? You gave me... and old guy in a suit? I'm an attourney. I'm here to serve you with a copy of the video of you fucking the mailman and a filing for divorce. Merry Christmas, you skanky whore! I hope I can return his monogramed nose hair trimmer.

CC 374: Strike! by Scyess 12-01-07

I'm tired of this, Jack. You know my demands. Give me what I want or I walk. Walk, then. He called my bluff. I'd better find a replacement FAST or else... Hey, Honey? Why is Jack Welch bringing us Christmas presents? Look, do you want your share of GE and laser pointer or not?

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"Old" is the old new.

CC 374: Massacre On 34th Street 1 by biped 12-01-07

Nintendo is shittin' all over us! Pretty soon there won't be a place in Toys R Us for me to hang my hat! There are things being negotiated that will answer all your questions and solve all your problems. God, you once told me that if the time ever came--You forbid--I could open up my own toy factory. Well...Santa's in charge of Christmas now. If he gives you permission, you have my blessing. Arrange a meeting with Santa. In your workshop...where he'll be "safe." We'll take it from there. Yes, Don Nintendo.

CC 374: Massacre On 34th Street 2 by biped 12-01-07

Santa says for us to go on ahead. He'll be along later in another sleigh. What? But we can't do that! It'll screw up all my arrangements! I can't go either, Sally. Huh? Oh. Well...tell Santa it was strictly business. I always liked him. Can...can you get me off the hook, Chuckles? For old times sake... Sorry, Sally. Can't do it.

CC 374: Massacre On 34th Street 3 by biped 12-01-07

Rudolph, Jr.--do you renounce Satan? I do renounce him. Was it you, Santa? Did you have Don Nintendo killed? Don't ever ask me about my business, Mrs. Claus.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

it might be time for a coup...

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Kill Whitey.

Okay, it's over.  And only 14 hours after I said I was closing it.  Hey, a boy's gotta Christmas shop, you know.

Honorable mention to UnknownEric for assraping my funny bone with "May Your Wishes Come True".

Winner is DeathToRadio for coloring within the lines yet being funny.  Now I'm having nightmares about Abe Vigoda's nutsack, thank you very much.

Take it away, Death! 

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

that one was great. i masturbated to it twice

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what if nigger meant kite

What if you lost both arms and couldn't masturbate anymore? Would life be worth living?

Anyway. I'll throw up the new contest tonight.

deathtoradiosure, i'd just train monkeys to do it

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what if nigger meant kite

Why wait till then?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Government subsidies on jerkoff monkeys are only available to the limbless.

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

the fascists

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what if nigger meant kite