[quoteYou sure it wasn't just because of the beard?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

"Hey pot! You are sooo black."
"Fuck you kettle."

I know boorite already addressed this...but i couldn't resist.

Besides, I like reading some of those comics Kajun.

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

Thanks for all your responses guys. It looks like everything just may work out.

You suck now.

Oh well... I'm going to continue the theme for now at least.

Actual Conversation by Drexle 1-17-03

Wow, today is my birthday. I'm 21 now. Crazy! Cool. Congrats on making it this far. I'd like to be 21 again... maybe not today, though. Well, I find that the age I act can be anywhere from 7 to 45 on any given day. Now that you mention it, I'd rather be 7 again. Then I could scream that you and every other girl have cooties, and it would save me metric assloads of heartbreak and frustration. I don't have cooties, though. You do. No I don't! I'm telling mommy!

Meeting chicks at the bookstore... by Drexle 1-18-03

Hey there! What are you reading? Oh, it's Lords of Chaos. Oooh, what's it about? A bunch of metalheads in Norway who went around burning churches and killing each other in the early '90s. Sigh.

it could be worse:

True life dating tales, #1 by lara7 1-17-03

You're asking me on a date? Wait a minute- how old are you? I'm 27, so I'm 5 years younger than you. Is that a problem? No, that's fine. One more question- you don't live with your parents, do you? Oh, God, no!! whew I live with my two children.

The above is true, but I went out with him anyway. 6 weeks later, it's still going well. Dating a custodial single parent is weird. Maybe I'll do some strips about it.

Everything Boorite says about breakups is true. Boorite is all-knowing and wise. And only slightly bitter.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

Any dating issues I've had have been generally self inflicted, I know from the start that the girl is a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, but sex is sex.

That will be written on my tombstone:

[center]Kajun Firefly
"He just couldn't say no to a piece of ass"[/center]

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Dad was flammable

True Story 1 by crabby 9-13-01

God I hate my boyfriend so much he's such an ass to me. He treats me bad and he doesn't deserve me. If only you liked me as more than a friend then I wouldn't need him anymore. Who says I don't like you as more than a friend, I got like the biggest crush on you. Oh really thats so cute. God your friend Bob is so cute you think he'd talk to me. Ask him what he thinks about me. What about you and me though? I thought you wanted something to happen between us. I did! I did! But your friend Bob I don't know him at all and I'm just wondering if anything could ever happen between me and him. I'm confused.

True Story 2 by crabby 9-13-01

God I can't believe your friend Bob was such a jerk.He was just trying to get me into the sack he didn't care about me at all.I can't believe I had you set me up with him.You're the guy I want though. Well good why don't we go out and do something this weekend. Hmmm.... This weekend isn't good for me I have to go to my boyfriend's Grandparent's anniversary party this weekend. Why are you doing this to me? If your not interested fine, but don't keep acting like you are when your not because I really like you. I really like you too. You're like the perfect guy. God I hate myself.

True Story 3 by crabby 9-13-01

Wow... That anniversary party really put everything in perspective. I never had any feelings for you at all. Well... Thanks for telling me. I'm serious. I'm in no way attracted to you. I can never see you as anything more than a friend but we'll never be friends now because I know that you have a crush on me. OK, so now there's no chance of a relationship and we're not friends either. Oh, we can be friends, I guess. I need someone to cry on when my boyfriend is a jerk and I know you'll be there for me. You're like a big sister! God I hate myself!

punky, youre an idiot.

no really, you are.

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

I'm not sure how you do it, Lara. At this point in my life, seeing kids attached to a potential mate would make me faint dead away.

Crabby, that's always been one of my favorites of yours. Here's my old school kick:

Worst thing (for men) to say(when women say the worst thing) by Drexle 9-14-01

You're a sweet guy, and you're just what I'm looking for, but I just like you too much to want to date you. You're such a good friend to me. Well fuck you, ya smelly cunt! I can't believe I ever wanted to be with you, what with all your hangups and insecureties.... Bitch! You make me fucking sick! How could you be so mean to me? God, I... I... You what? You hate me now? Good, now that you don't "like me too much" anymore, how about we go out Saturday? *Crying!* Bitch!

*clap clap clap* For Drexle. Man... gals that do that BS need to stop. I've never met a guy that pulls that shit... we just don't have it in us.

Sure, some of us may play around with several girls, but never the "you're too good a friend" bullshit. That's RIDICULOUS.

Well here's my one attempt at a true-story dating series:

I said it knowing full well I had no intention of doing it by kramer_vs_kramer 4-10-02

Okay, we've been dating for about a month, but I sense from your complete lack of enthusiasm that you just want to be friends. Is that right? Yes. Yes it is. Bye then. With hindsight, I really shouldn't have said that.

Recombinant DNA is the only logical progression by kramer_vs_kramer 4-10-02

My love life is really shit. If only there was someone out there who could help me. You called? Blade? Why are you here? I thought you were a vampire hunter. I hate to break this to you, dude, but vampires aren't real. I'm your fairy godmother. If you're a fairy godmother, why do you have a sword and all those guns? That's how I'm planning on getting you a date.

I don't know how this is relevant but with all these links flying around I want to add something.

Ain't got no girlfriend by Mako_Man 1-17-03

I can't wait to see my hot hot date tonight... 'Cause she's hot and she's into me! ... At what point do I admit to myself that I don't have a date?

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Once upon a time, one guy said "Dude!" His friend, shocked by this remark, replied "Dude!" Thus began my meaningless comics...

I've actually had very few full-blown breakups over the course of my romantic career. A few, of course, and they were fraught with the usual recriminating, ugly bullshit, but I just kept on keeping on and found that "next girl."

The bulk of it has just been assorted women fading in and out of my life, and I theirs, at different levels of intimacy until they just stopped fading back in and went on to do whatever it is they do now. I've been with my share of emotional basket cases and creepy bitches, yeah, but a lot of the women I've known we're quite wonderful, and they have left me with a smile that returns every time I think of them.

I don't like to to speak ill of any of them because, truth be told, I'm a fucking piece of work myself and maybe what those women and I gave each other during the time we had was just what we both needed. I don't know anymore. Being in the industry I'm in has always helped me meet women, but I got a lot of attention from women even before I started playing out fronting bands and working rock concerts as an engineer. Much like Kajun, I could never say no to a piece of ass, though, and that's not as interesting as it sounds.

I used to pull like a ten ton electromagnet back in the day, but.... *sigh*. Now that I'm getting older and to the point where I'm held together with bailing wire and gaff tape, things are pretty quiet in love land. There are a couple of women I would really like to see again, even if just for coffee and laughs. Some would be met at the door with a crucifix, garlands of garlic and a wooden stake. Most of them... I can't even remember their face, let alone their name. Just vague, swimmy memories.

It's never easy, having a relationship. It's a lot of work and meeting in the middle, but I always figured that if you're with a person and you say that you love them, then that comes first and you work everything else around that. The women I have cared for that shared that philosophy have filled my time on this mortal coil with some beautiful memories. Thank you ladies. Think of me sometime.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

quote:

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punky, youre an idiot.

no really, you are.

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no bad joke

plenty missing the point

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

I got the point of his statement fuckjob.

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

Ah, another true-life story

Why you can't trust women by dommiel84 1-19-03

One day over coffee with my best friend's ex Umm, you know, me and you get on pretty ok... I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out with me? I mean, you're always saying I'm cute... Oooh... Eddie, you know we're such great friends and I've only just broken up and I really don't know where I am with my ex right now... Trying to put on a brave face Oh, hey no problem... Yeah, I understand... Umm, you won't tell him will you? That I asked you out I mean? Please don't tell him... that would suck... Oh, you know what? I'm running late, I have to go... The day after they got back together EDDIE! I know you're in there! COME OUT! I'm really sorry man! Please don't hurt me...

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Scratch and sniff porn isn't as good as I'd hoped

My contribution, I guess.

A critic is born by andydougan 5-08-02

Then I've been bottling this up for so, so long and I didn't think I'd ever be able to tell you...I've been planning how to do it for weeks and...I...I love you! Ha! Yeah, whatever, dweeb. Now This film is rubbish. And Russell Crowe's acting is execrable. I'd like to shoot him.

*posts entire account*

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Dad was flammable

Browing the link in Kaufman's new post, I found this one:

http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20030112.html

Sigh. One for me too, please.

The solution to all relationship problems is found!

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Mediocrity at its most average.

fuckjob?

ouch

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

quote:

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Everything Boorite says about breakups is true. Boorite is all-knowing and wise. And only slightly bitter.

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according to one of my friends in his mid 40's, there's a point in your life where you hit two milestones:
1) having a doctor significantly younger than you
2) dating someone with one or more divorces/kids in their past.

The doctor thing happened 2 years ago. So I was (sorta) ready for the kid thing.

Biased, terrible bitch that I am, had I known about the kids the moment I met him, I'd have said no to the date. But once we got to talking and then I found out about the kids, I said, eh, what the hell?

but it's a hoot. stuff like this happens all the time:

True life dating tales, #2 by lara7 1-18-03

Sorry I couldn't keep our date. My babysitter backed out, so I had to stay home. That's okay. Too bad you had to stay home on a Friday night, though. It wasn't all bad. The next morning, I woke up to find two beautiful underage blonde girls in my bed. You WHAT?! Oh, you mean your daughters. Hee hee. Got ya! Great. I'm either dating a smart ass practical joker, or Woody Allen.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.