That's guaranteed to put the ho in honeymoon.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

I just got back from my first day at the Inland Revenue.

I still don't have a fucking clue what they actually want me to do.

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

quote:

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I just got back from my first day at the Inland Revenue.

I still don't have a fucking clue what they actually want me to do.

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Everyone should be killed.

Everything should be destroyed.

Kill all, destroy all. That's my motto.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

So after I bought this:

I couldn't wait to cut something with it. I pondered butchering the neighborhood children, but the little bastards were too fast. So I cut a bunch of random pieces of wood and assembled them to make these:

They're drawers to put office supplies in for our desk. The moron who designed the desk neglected to put any drawers in it, so there's no places to cram office supplies except for some useless shelves. So I'm installing these in one of the useless shelves to make them less useless.

One is for pens, pencils, and rulers, one is for large items like tape dispensers and boxes of staples, and one is for little things like paperclips, rubber bands, and eyeballs.

And where is the 18-inch long, boomerang-shaped drawer?

Awesome job ivy! Now do something with a router so I know what it's supposed to look like.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

quote:

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One is for pens, pencils, and rulers, one is for large items like tape dispensers and boxes of staples, and one is for little things like paperclips, rubber bands, and eyeballs.

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A word from the wise: If you'll stick your pens through the eyeballs to begin with, they won't roll off the desk and get caught under the chair's wheels.

Like a Roman ogee.

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What others say about boorite!

A letter to Dear Abby today was asking what to do about a community member who routinely hugs women to the point of molestation. This was her response:

"I recommend that the ladies who are offended by his behavior form a "united front." By this I mean, agree to put thumb tacks in your brassieres (facing outward, of course) when you know you'll be seeing him. I predict that if you do, he will hug you less enthusiastically from then on."

I'm starting to like the old broad.

i shat my pants a lil yesterday.

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obscenity filter is off

I just made my first sale on craigslist. 120 lbs of weights for $60. Poor people should eat steel--it's cheaper per pound than meat.

And easier to digest than a burger from White Castle.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

EXECUTIVE SESSION -- (Senate - October 27, 2005)

NOMINATION OF JOHN RICHARD SMOAK TO BE UNITED STATES DISTRICT JUDGE FOR THE NORTHERN DISTRICT OF FLORIDA

Mr. MARTINEZ. Mr. President, I rise to speak on behalf of Richard Smoak, who has been nominated by President Bush to fill a vacancy in the Northern District of Florida as a Federal district court judge.

I will quote from Mr. Paul Anderson of Panama City, who speaks of Mr. Smoak in this fashion:

Dick Smoak is simply one of the finest lawyers and finest men I have ever had the privilege of knowing.

DICK SMOAK LOLOLOLOLOL

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What others say about boorite!

I worked up a black sweat earlier, so now I'm bringin' sexy back. Since y'all other fuckers don't know how to act.

P.S. I'll let you whip me if I misbehave.

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I has a flavor!

Today's special at Subway is Tuna. $2.99 BITCHES! Get one or pay the ultimate price.

The disatisfaction of not buying one.

That is all.

<3

Sorry, I got a grilled chicken caesar wrap from the deli down the street.

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I has a flavor!

Eat Fresh... HUMILIATION!

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What others say about boorite!

I have ramen in my future, but I'm taking donations for something edible.

I got a cuban sandwich in little Havana today, but since I'm white I think they put salami on it to fuck with me.

Yes. Yes, I see.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Yes. Yes, I see.

So much is revealed once you know the code.

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What others say about boorite!

I ate three warm tortillas and half a bowl of raisin bran.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

My xbox live gamertag is "The Young Scot" should anyone from here want to add me and whupp me at Halo 2.

If you add me send me a message or something saying who you are though.

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false