...the most devilishly handsome and intelligent being ever to grace this planet and possibly...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...more full of shit than...

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

...a constipated donkey...

...after a fondue dinner with The Wonder Twins, who sensed the presence of evil, and, before you could say 'Ned Kelly,' Zan turned into a purple dinosaur and Jayna took the form of...

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

... a ten foot tall penis made of snow ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

...a TIGER Beat EDITOR who went back and changed the names around correctly to read that JAYNA turned into a purple dinosaur while ZAN, who always turned into something water-based, took the form of...

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

...a puddle of water...

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

in a commemorative china bowl featuring a lovely print of the original cast of ...

...Saved By The Bell...

...which reminds me that Dustin Diamond and Wil Wheaton are starring in big-budget buddy movie entitled...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

..."Caring for a little-known plant that only grows in the Chilean rainforest, which is the only known cure for...

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My nuts look disturbingly like cooking apples. Should I see a doctor about it?

... cranial-rectal inversion, a disease known by it's symptoms ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

...of making long, often contradictory speeches in public and expecting people to follow, and so is most often found in politicians," a 2-hour romp of hilarious comedy coming soon from...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...the central orifice of the last specimen we encountered...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

... on Rigel 12, where Spock and Bones were attacked by ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

... Frankie Muniz dressed as a...

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My nuts look disturbingly like cooking apples. Should I see a doctor about it?

...Malcolm (imagine that!) in the middle of...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

... a Spankling and Fuzzyman sandwich ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

...(hold the mustard)...

...which is covered in hot creamy...

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

... German style potato salad, which used to be my favorite until that German bitch ex-wife of mine embezzled my money, ran off with my business partner, and ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

...conspired maliciously to make my struddel less flakey, which is really the biggest tragedy of the whole situaton, although it pales in comparison if you consider the biggest culinary tragedy ever, the...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...time Spankling had a barbecue and served us hot dogs that were actually the penises of former Republican congressmen, which wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

... the congressmen were still attached ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

...to the magnicent prow of the ship...

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.