P.S. Absinth by ObiJo 10-04-03

Greetings, Moon Monkey. I have travelled these 240,000 miles to tell you something of the utmost importance. Boorite sucks miles and miles of cock? Oh no. I assume that's universal knowledge. Yes. I've come to tell you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ, who, coincidentally, does not partake in the cock. No cock, no thanks.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

OK, the extension was by request of me, as it was hella difficult to judge this one - I came up with those rules in about 5 minutes as I hadn't expected to win.

Well done everyone, the standard was on the whole really high, especially pleased that some of the newer members did some cracking entries.

It would take all day to reproduce all of the good ones so here's a shortlist of the especially good ones which you can find in the thread:

Flickguy's
codehappykid's "Sanity Is Overrated"
areallystupidguy's
Both of umfumdisi's
NeoVid's
kramer_vs_kramer's
BigEvilDan's
ObiJo's "Boorite sucks miles of cock" series, which was the funniest one, but was blatantly non-compliant.

Special mention to choadwarrior for this one:

Absinth of Malice by choadwarrior 9-29-03

Your fish tank is like the Matrix. They just swim around and don't realize their entire world is just a reproduction of their natural environment. This is so cool. I've been staring at it for like ten minutes. It almost seems like we're inside. Wo Nemo! Toss a lasso to me now!

But If I let yours win, I'd have had to let Obi Win.

Top 4:

Hic! by AccentuateNegative 10-03-03

Hey, you're the first repeat customer to Jes's Absinth Shack. You must have enjoyed it. I like how you can get really drunk, but maintain focus and clarity. Unfortunately, my friends prefer other liquors. Dude! What are you doing in my bedroom? I've been converted to penis. Luckily for him, I never converted to fatass.

Great Punchline.

CC 213: I've been converted to penis! by attitudechicka 9-29-03

Well, hello Jes. Welcome to Kajun's Klassic Kuisine! What'll you have? You know what I want... I'm sorry, Jes, I can't serve you absinth here. We're in America. No, no, no. You KNOW what I want. Oh. That will be five Euro and I'll meet you under table nine.

Well written and funny.

CC 213: Lovely absinth, wonderful absinth by lukket 9-29-03

What can I get you? Hi Red! What are you doing here, I thought it was Jes_Lawson's fastfood chain!? Yeah it is, but there are 52 restaurants worldwide. He can't be everywhere. Is that menu some sort of a sick joke? There isn't a single thing without absinth. It was like that when I got here. But you could always try the cheeseburger. It has less absinth in it. Naw, I have to split before those wikings start singing.

I like the idea of me trying to be in 52 restaurants worldwide, like some kind of demented Colonel Sanders. And the Monty Python references.

But the winner, mainly because this individual made three strips I really liked, this one being my favourite, is...

CC 213: Deep in the Fun Zone by kaufman 9-30-03

My god! That Pac-Man's huge! It must be 20 miles in diameter. Don't blame me. It was like that when I got here! Let's go inside. HBO's showing Braveheart vs. UHF. We're almost ready to charge the English, but the troops don't have enough weapons. They can use spatulas. A new Spatula City just opened up in Edinburgh, and they're having a big sale. Welcome to Spatula City, how can I help you? I need 750 Ninja Throwing Spatulas, 1200 Bayonet Spatulas, 300 Super-Slapper Spatulas, oh, and a Haggis-Flipper Spatula for Mum.

kaufman

I knew I'd be saying that one of these days. Take it away, sir.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Hey jes, what was the mysterious winning combination?

Great contest, bytheby.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Yes, I agree.

He does you know.

Miles and miles and miles and miles...

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

quote:

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Hey jes, what was the mysterious winning combination?

Great contest, bytheby.

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Thanks. President Stickman, Absinth and When Films Collide.

But eventually too many people hit the winning formula, and everyone else made too many good comics for me to stick to that rule.

Everyone except SinatraFonzarelli (shite) and crabby (Three motionblur panels - you can do much better, what were you thinking?) was wicked. Even if you did not get listed - the standard was ultra freedom hapy good.

Jes_

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Please replace the handset, and try again.