The Playstation Of The Christ by biped 8-26-04

Not even devout Christians are immune to a hapless addiction to videogames... Tempt...TEMPT... Resist...RESIST... Ha-HA! CRUCIFIXION! OWNED! Pass cup from lips...PASS CUP FROM -- aaah, crap! Dialogue with God terminated! Heh! His ass is -- FUCK! RESURRECTION! Ascend-- ASCEND-- YESSS!!! SCOOOOORE!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Foil Fumble: It's a Terrible Joke, Really by possums 8-26-04

What game are you now haplessly addicted to? It's called "Unipsycho." You combat space Nazis with a sexy grandma sidekick. And you do it all on a unicycle. Does the grandma wear diapers? That DEPENDS!!!

FF 8: Building valuable life skills by jes_lawson 8-27-04

You and I need to have a little dialogue about your gaming. You're wasting your life - games aren't real and can't teach you to... Shh! This is the bit where I need to concentrate... ...do anything... Up down up down left right left right B A! ...useful. And another thing... Yes! Bonus Antarctica level!

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

Foil Fumble: Vidiot Games by MikeyG 9-01-04

BLEEP BLOOP POW BLOOP ZAP POW POW ZAP BLEEP ZIP ZAP BLIP BLIP FLOBBLE FLORP FLECKLE Dude, I think we're haplessly addicted to video games. This is the first dialogue we've had since February.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Will someone please get Bazilla's ass in gear?

Look, dudes, due to school and work starting at the same fucking time, I'm barely home for 11 hours a day, and well, I sleep a lot of that. I can tell you now that Mikey's out. And possums needs to stop whining, I still haven't actually recieved all the votes.

I can guarantee this being updated on every weekend as long as you guys are up to scratch. And I'll try to move things along tomorrow if I'm not asleep.

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Everyone knocks MikeyG out and make sure he knows he's out-stayed his welcome. Oh, and some guy hits someone else with a chair, y'know, for shock value.

Oh jeepers, looks like Number 11 has to come in and it looks like it's:

kaufman

"It's the red-head cat man with a tetchy throat! And things are going to heat up in here now!"

[b][u]Round Nine

jes_lawson vs. JESUSSANDWICH vs. possums vs. biped vs. kaufman[/b][/u]

[b]The Rules

1.[/b] Comic must contain every letter of the alphabet. from MikeyG

2. Entries must be entered to avoid disqualification [preferbly make them as quick as possible]. Or a very good reason must be presented.
3. Once all entries are in, the five competitors will vote for the WORST entry, they don't need to be prompted by me to begin voting.
4. Votes must be in the form of a Private Message to Bazilla - to limit tactical voting.
5. Person with most votes, leaves. In the case of tied votes, all remain.
6. No Crying.

Yeah, there'll be delays but if you guys get it done as fast as you can, then I will too.

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Oh, and yeah, y'know get going, please, cunts.

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

My comic was awesome!

Bunch of lesbians.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

quote:

---

My comic was awesome!

---

FF: Two Sophisticated Chums Exchanging Ribaldries by biped 9-11-04

Ah! If it isn't the loquacious Zelda! Still playing that ever-present xylophone for the Salvation Army, I trust? Nope! I traded it in for a shovel, and now I rob graves! Mmm...I'll masturbate furiously to that notion a bit later, no doubt. Unearth any action tonight, my parsimonious little turtledove? FUCK chuh! Just dug up a rich, freshly-planted old bastard...and then stripped, skinned, gutted, and fucked him! In that order! Delightful...and if I'm not mistaken, I detect the aroma of "old dead bastard" slowly roasting over an open fire. Am I invited for the victuals, my dear? Invited? Hell, I'm counting on your horny fucking ass to jack off some of your patented "special sauce" for extra flavor! Oh, and if Mom should ask -- we were at the library tonight.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CSI: Providence by kaufman 9-11-04

Suicide. Witnesses saw her leap off the bridge into the river at 6:03 PM. No doubt about it. But why? She had everything going for her. Rhode Island state track champion, and voted best looking woman on campus. Captain, this may explain it: "I'm sick and tired of Led Zeppelin. If I hear that whiny voice of Robert Plant once more, I swear I'll end it all." Hmmmm... we may have a breakthrough. I'll pay a visit to the radio station and check their playlist. ... Let me see. Oh yes, here it is. At 6PM, we played Led Zeppelin IV all the way through. That confirms it! The quick Brown fox jumped over the L.Z. "Black Dog."

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

FF:Misplacement and raping the dead by JESUSSANDWICH 9-12-04

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z Good job you stupid bitch but this is the god damned 8th grade.

---
possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

FF 9: Stop the small world (after all), Ivan-t to get off by jes_lawson 9-13-04

Camp X-Ray (or is it Delta?) Guantanamo Bay O.K. Khalif, that's enough testicle zapping for one day, there's a hurricane a-comin'! So you finally read the part about prohibiting "cruel and unusual punishments" then, Private England? WHOOSH! What the jihad...? This is like that in that film Rupert Everett likes! Quite right, Khalif! Thanks to the hurricane and some Bollywood magic, click your heels together three times and you'll be in paradise! Oh Allah, NOOOO! Hi, welcome to Disneyland! Please queue here for the 24 hour Olsen Twins marathon!

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

jes, kaufman and biped start pummeling on possums who attempts to beat the crap out of jesussandwich who is too busy picking his nose. Possums puts up a good fight, but the competition from all these entries are too strong for him and possums competition ends here.

Seven people have left, five are yet to join these elite four, including No. 2 Jes who's still sticking in there, but now for Number 12...

Zegota

"It's that guy... who flies the plane!"

[b][u]Round Ten

jes_lawson vs. JESUSSANDWICH vs. biped vs. kaufman vs. Zegota[/u]

The Rules

1.[/b] You must write the lines entirely in haiku. - from possums

2. Entries must be entered to avoid disqualification [preferbly make them as quick as possible]. Or a very good reason must be presented.
3. Once all entries are in, the five competitors will vote for the WORST entry, they don't need to be prompted by me to begin voting.
4. Votes must be in the form of a Private Message to Bazilla - to limit tactical voting.
5. Person with most votes, leaves. In the case of tied votes, all remain.
6. No Crying.

Should you not know/remember exactly what a haiku is, Google is your friend!

If you can wrap this round up by the weekend, that'd be swell.

GET FLOWING CUNTS!

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Lord of the Rings in Haiku by kaufman 9-15-04

Oh, what a fun ring! Nobody can see me now. Thanks, Uncle Bilbo. That ring is evil. You must throw it in Mount Doom. Take it off right now! I am astounded. We have something in common. We love killing orcs. Then we grind them up. Smoke the shreds in hobbits' pipes. Let's get Uruk-high! You want my ring, twerp? I'll just give you the finger! Watch out for that ledge. Lava burns Smeagol. But I've got precioussss at last. Happy endingses.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

FF: Southern charm by Zegota 9-15-04

I will fuck your mom. In her tight wet little hole. She will scream my name. Will you tear her up? Like you did your furrow skin. By wanking too much. Never mention that. The skin doesn't seem to heal. Oh what should I do? Just stop wanking off. Trust me you'll feel better soon. Please don't fuck my mom. Don't start whining bitch. Why should I not fuck your mom? She just begs for it. I won't call you dad. My mother is my sister. That is bad enough.

---
And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

FF -- "NON-BETTE MIDLER COMICS" not starring: Bette Midler by biped 9-15-04

Whoa, it's Captain Chip! What did you do this weekend? Anything of note? I had relations. Um, sexual relations. With a chihuahua. Dude -- you are OUT THERE! I've never even KISSED one! Much less FUCKED the bitch! Well...I was lonely. My girlfriend was out of town. It just... well..."happened." Hey, wait a minute! When did you get a girlfriend? I thought you were GAY! I DID SOME MOVIES! I NEEDED THE DARN MONEY! I'M NOT -- OH, FUCK IT!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Foil Fumble 10; The News in Haiku format; Film at eleven by jes_lawson 9-16-04

Hurricane Ivan. Landfall on New Orleans, y'all. Suh, we still drinkin'! Bush versus Kerry. They both try the same tactics. Your war record... ...sucks! Johnny Ramone dies. Punk's not dead, just sedated. Gabba Gabba... ...Hey!

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

FF: HAIKUS ARE LIKE HITLER THEY DIED A LONG TIME AGO. by JESUSSANDWICH 9-17-04

I think haikus suck. This is not a very good strip. So uh BITE ME!

---
possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

Wow. You realize that Johnny Ramone died today, right? That's some serious psychic powers you got there, Jes.

Luckily for me
I can edit the comic
and rename the stiff.

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

Vote vote vote vote vote vote vote.

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

JESUSSANDWICH be pokin' biped in the eye, it's a shame Kaufman, Zegota and biped are making him walk the plank. And avast! JESUSSANDWICH is a beaten scallywag of a seadog, and mutiny has been laid to rest in Davy Jones' locker. Jes ambles about, resting away and let's the others sort it out. Jes is the only person left that couldn't be considered as "new" and is very, very old. Eight people have left during his time here.

And y'arrr it's time for unlucky competitor number 13... and the guy's wearing a mask. I can't tell who this person is. Seriously, what the fuck's going on. One person from the crowd has jsut shouted nivannick at me, that means completely fuck all to me. What the fuck's going on with this scallywag?

[b][u]Round Eleven

jes_lawson vs. biped vs. kaufman vs. Zegota vs. nivannick[/u]

The Rules

1.[/b] The comic must mention either rapping or raping. - from Bazilla
2. To celebrate Star Wars coming out on DVD tomorrow, I demand your comic refers to it in some way. - from Bazilla

3. Entries must be entered to avoid disqualification [preferbly make them as quick as possible]. Or a very good reason must be presented.
4. Once all entries are in, the five competitors will vote for the WORST entry, they don't need to be prompted by me to begin voting.
5. Votes must be in the form of a Private Message to Bazilla - to limit tactical voting.
6. Person with most votes, leaves. In the case of tied votes, all remain.
7. No Crying.

Y'ARRR, GET GOING, CUNTS!

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

FF: Clown Rappa, Meet Brown Tappa by biped 9-19-04

"I'm tha Rappin' Clown, and I'm here to say -- stayin' in school is tha ONLY way! Buszh-ka-ka buszh pum-pum-pum buszh..." Oh man, how I'd love to kill that fucking asshole. "Rappin' Clown", my fucking ass. YO! I heard that, homey, and I'm here to say -- Rappin' Clown's tha dopest dude EVAH day! WHAT THE FUCK??!!! Consider your fucking ass officially RAPED, you silly-ass clown BASTARD!!! Now BEND OVER!!! Man, I can't wait fo' de new Star Wars flick to come out, and -- whoa, it's Rappin' Clown! Bust a rhyme for me, muh-fukka! I -- I feel funny inside... my guts are all loose... some guy just rammed his dick up my clowny caboose...

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.