All your base are belong to us.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Doing my best to make DIC comics more appealing to the masses:

DIC: Branching Out

Hello. I'm a bear and directly behind me is the woods.

by niteowl, 6-16-05

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

DIC: No, not Tom and Katie

All over the internet, people have been asking one question: What the hell is with Hilary Duff and that new set of choppers?

by niteowl, 6-17-05

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

DIC: Tyco, Ken Lay, and You

Tyco executives found guilty! Ken Lay poops twinkie, decrys engergy deregulation, begs for job at GM.

by KungChiFu, 6-17-05

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

DIC: Schiavo Autopsy Reviewed, Fair and Balanced

The Schiavo autopsy revealed she had half a brain, was blind, had no congnative thought, & no chance of recovery. In short, she had become one of the Far Right.

by KungChiFu, 6-20-05

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

desert island whining-2 by dcomposed 6-13-05

Stupid Africans want everyone to call off their debts. I tell you, if I ever give someone a million million dollars I wouldn't mind if they don't give it back.

desert island whining-3 by dcomposed 6-13-05

Sometimes when i try to go to gmail.com, i type "gm" and think the autocomplete gets it, but it doesn't and it goes to gm.com. This is an example of the big evil corporation stealing business.

desert island whining-4 by dcomposed 6-20-05

I just heard Saddam Hussein hates Froot Loops. I don't know why we let him get away with this blatant anti-Americanism.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

They're not worse than the originals.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

not_Scyess, your taste is as weak as your cartooning. You DO cartoon, still, don't you? Or is it just bitching and vapid, self-serving lectures you're capable of now? Really... The Economist? "Effective political cartooning"? Weak, weak, weak.

Dcom, welcome to the thread. You are welcome to politic here (not like I could stop you, just saying). However, if you REALLY want to compete, keep it to one panel.

ANYway...

DIC: Bin Laden

CIA chief has 'excellent idea' where bin Laden is. So we got that going for us.

by KungChiFu, 6-20-05

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Yeah, not_Scyess, you're weak, weak, weak. Why can't you think up scathing satire like this?

DIC: Bush SEC Cox

Bush wants to SEC Cox. Again, sometimes these things just write themselves.

by KungChiFu, 6-03-05

I don't know how Bush can look at himself in the mirror after that one.

Kung Fuuey!

After spending months learning how to change the TV Channel to CNN, it should be a piece of cake to pick up this "comedy" thing, right?

by not_Scyess, 6-20-05

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Sigh. And it escalates.

Okie-doke.

I ask myself, what will it solve for me to go through your respective catalogues and point out all the cartoons that I think are stupid, non-funny and pedestrian?

Then I say, fuck, well, why not. I have time.

I mean, not-Scyess, I don't even have to EDIT your shit to point out how not-funny it is:

The Last Fuuey

George Bush. I mean, like, really! Is he dumb, or what?! Ho ho! Sometimes, these things just write themselves!

by not_Scyess, 6-18-05

...and after YEARS of learning how to "work a computer", that's the kind of stuff you have? Damn. Now, If I DID want to create a n_S style cartoon, it wouldn't be hard to come up with something similar:

not_Sycess Humor by KungChiFu 6-20-05

Shallow easily-misconstrued penis euphamism line. Silly misunderstanding of penis euphamism line to build comedic "dick joke" effect. Blah blah sit-com punchline referencing the dick joke misunderstanding. After-punchline comment.

And then the crowd goes wild ... I mean, I guess, based on your arrogant attitude. You must get lots of fan mail and be spending lots of time dusting your Pulitzer Prizes and stuff to support the exhaustingly-articulated delusion that you know "funny". To the contrary, young n_S, your material isn't all that funny. Peddling the funny, you say? Nah, you're peddling the pedantic and common, and it seems when you run out of "funny", you go picking fights. Perhaps it's conservative anger. Perhaps it's desire for attention. Whichever, I think we've established you don't like DIC, or me, so you can give it a rest.

Or not, it doesn't matter, we're only wasting electrons.

Ho ho. And then we have Andy, the "film critic", the second-drawer "funnyman" working on DIC criticism ostensibly to save...somebody... from something... involving my cartoons...

Come on, man. You're an unarmed man spoiling for a battle of wits.

Let's review your catalogue and try to find one of the funny ones...

Ok, 20-30 later, I'm tired of looking.

Let's just use this recent one, since you brought up satire:

Stir well by andydougan 6-07-05

Christian Slater and Russell Crowe, incarcerated actors What are you in for? I threw a telephone at the face of a concierge who wasn't sufficiently deferent. You? Ah, I sexually assaulted this old woman. And despite my repeated threats of violence, she's pressing charges (ALL TRUE). I tell you, it's come to a pretty pass when the elite of the earth are treated like common criminals. Sirs? It's dinner time. We've laid out the candle-lined red carpet. Candles?! We wanted kneeling eunuchs! Don't you know who we are?

That's some hard-hitting, funny, WITTY stuff; penetrating, socially-relevant ! You really got it right on the head there. Wait, that was "satire", wasn't it? Or was it "pathos"? "Social commentary"? Or just, "puny"? It's hard to tell, since this one didn't include a fart or dick joke (unless I just didn't catch it). Wait, eunichs were involved, insted of "COX", so I guess once again we see how you're soooooooo much funnier than regluar mortals. Even me.

Again, wouldn't be hard to come up with something as pedestrian and non-funny as your recent efforts (especially your DIC criticism). But I'm not going to do it because I have, in the past, enjoyed your cartoons. Too bad you don't do enough funny ones anymore to justify my continued faith (or to suffer the criticism you like to lay out from your glass house).

Okay then. I think we all know where we stand, so far. not_Scyess and andy don't think I'm funny or relevant, I don't think they're funny or relevant, and dcom is posting conservative-themed two-panel comics in a one-panel liberal-themed comic thread. Also, (and here's the important part) I believe a political cartoon's "humor" is subordinate to its message. You guys don't. Plus it appears we're on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Must we bicker any further? Why don't you two go back to making cartoons about pimps and farts and shit like that and telling each other how funny you are, and we'll go on with our experiment? Hmmm?

KCF

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Your comics may lack jokes... but at least you take criticism well.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Yes, if only you were qualified to offer it.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

hahhah. Editing your piece of crap cartoon I referenced above is the funniest thing you've done in ages, n_S.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

...now waiting for andy to do the same...

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Relax, man. It isn't worth getting so worked up about.

I just checked the Pending Rating list and was surprised to find my "Branching Out" comic on there. I was even more surprised to find that it had only a 3.33 rating with 3 votes.

What really saddens me is that there are a lot of comic elements that normally would be absolute comic gold:

Poop humor - Hey, if Nickelodeon can air a commercial extolling the virtues of farting...
A clever pun included in the title - Branch to tree, tree to woods
Pregnant Pause - Between "Hello." and "I'm a bear..."
Stating the obvious with a dead on impersonation of Steven Wright - Who doesn't love Steven Wright?
Irony - Because the "woods" is one lonely little tree on a tiny desert island

Sadly, the above didn't translate into millions of good ratings.

I'm really bummed out because I put so much effort into it. I'm of the firm belief that in order to deliver the funny, you have to know the subject matter you are talking about. It took hours of painstaking research to find the right demographic to target. Numerous Google searches were performed about palm trees, sand, the ocean, Gilligan's Island, and of course, bears.

Also, because I spent nearly 100 hours of online research on my comic masterpiece...my new wife, fed up with my devotion to attempting to amuse people I don't even know, moved out and wants a divorce. She also took the cats, the PS2, and my Special Edition DVD of This Is Spinal Tap (that last one REALLY fucking hurt).

My family now thinks I'm addicted to the internet and they're considering an intervention because I was online for that entire 100 hours straight while they repeatedly tried to call. My kids hate me because I couldn't pry myself away from the PC to go out and play ball with them. It's a good thing I've got a bulletproof vest because I overheard them plotting and planning the other night.

I lost all my friends because I couldn't stop responding to every question they asked me with, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" I lost my job too, but that's ok...I didn't like it much lately. Besides, dirty liberals like me don't have jobs and it's kinda cool to be able to "do it for America" by perpetuating that stereotype.

I'm thoroughly depressed. I'm in pain. Even worse, to quote Mr. Gordon Sumner, I AM the King of Pain because I hurt so many people in the making of this comic.

Man, I need a valium.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Strange. My "No, not Tom and Katie" comic also has a 3.33 rating. That's ok though, I didn't put any effort into that piece of pop culture related junk.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

DIC: I've lost it all

Last night I tried to jerk off...but since I'm such a loser, my hand rejected the merchandise.

by niteowl, 6-20-05

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

quote:

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I just checked the Pending Rating list and was surprised to find my "Branching Out" comic on there. I was even more surprised to find that it had only a 3.33 rating with 3 votes.

What really saddens me...

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...and on we go:

DIC: Support Our Troops

I support our troops by insluting every liberal I see.

by KungChiFu, 6-22-05

DIC: Support our Troops II

I don't support our troops?? That's like saying I don't support our second graders who get marched into a burning building. It ain't like they had a choice, and don't make it right.

by KungChiFu, 6-22-05

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Haha!

Geez, I hope no one took my earlier post seriously...

Anyways, it was purely fictional...none of that stuff happened to me. Just poking fun at this thread, and more importantly, myself. I'm not mad about the rating on that comic either...I didn't put any effort into it, so I didn't expect any good ratings.

I still say KungChi's comics kick ass. Now if I were a conservative, I probably wouldn't...but I'm not, so there ya go.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

I like em. I think that the fact it is titled "Desert Island Commentary" tells you its not necessarily supposed to have the funneh. Even though a couple of them made me chuckle a little.

But if you don't like them, just move on. Why take the time and energy to repeatedly bash the guy? I don't like country music, but I don't go into honkeytonks and talk shit about Merle Haggard.

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

If you have to have a particular political, religious, or ethnic affiliation to find a comic funny, it probably isn't actually funny; it's just making you feel good that someone who agrees with you is saying so.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Well, I'll say this for you n_S. At least you're consistent.

It's your contention that, if "humor" is based around a specific race, creed, religion or idology, that it isn't and can't be "actually" funny?

Really? To whom?

Let's say that a Jewish comic does standup in the 1950s, at a comedy club in the Hamptons, frequented by many New York Jewish people. He does jokes that will please the predominantly Jewish clientelle. The audience laughs and wants the comic to come back, do more jokes, etc.

Or, let's further consider somebody like Tom Tomorrow, who does aggressive cartoons for the liberal press, whose work appears in publications designed to appeal to liberals?

According to your circular logic, this would mean that the cartoons or comic in question aren't actually funny because you don't find them funny, despite the fact that many others do. Extrapolating the argument out further (such as it is) that you seem to be espousing, this would mean that nothing is funny that you don't find funny.

This is a reasonable enough position, I suppose, in a egocentric way, except that you have demonstrated yourself to feel compelled to try to make others understand that what they think is funny is not funny because you don't think it is funny...which, of course, indicates meglomania at best and dementia at worst. Who empowered you to try to fix another's sense of humor?

Anyway, what else do you want? Want us to do comics for you, to make you happy? Or do you want us to find a way to take your criticism seriously? Want a pat on the head? A hug? A cookie?

Go to the mall.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.