I have to go to work today but I'm scared I did something wrong yesterday so I might just stay home and post on StripCreator forums

Today, I want to turn you on.

I thought you didn't mean to.

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I has a flavor!

I figure you can make a pop or rock song lyric out of random cliches strung together. So I wrote a program to make pop or rock song lyrics out of random cliches strung together.

Try it here.

It so happens that the first good list of cliches I found was Brit, so there's Limey Brit Faget Language in there.

If you want it to rhyme and shit, you have to tweak the results yourself. It's at least a great free-association starting point thingie.

Here's a song it wrote.

have a whip round
Words by Cliche Songwriter 1.0

VERSE 1
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minimum wage
better late than never
one in a million
better and better
usual suspects
pitch and putt
self supporting
suck it and see

CHORUS:
=======
have a whip round
brand spanking new
big step
long term

VERSE 2
========
conditional offer
nine lives
by the way
barely deserved
time window
God's half acre
rhyme or reason
random noise

CHORUS:
=======
have a whip round
brand spanking new
big step
long term

VERSE 3
========
work up
hot and bothered
scraping the bottom of the barrel
tight timetable
thick as a plank
quite natural
walk it
top and tail

CHORUS:
=======
have a whip round
brand spanking new
big step
long term

BRIDGE:
=======
cause for complaint
kick back
dead right

VERSE 4
========
better luck next time
arms fair
who's on next
new beginnings
coin a phrase
in the strongest possible terms
scare stories
public outcry

CHORUS:
=======
have a whip round
brand spanking new
big step
long term

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What others say about boorite!

arms race
Words by Cliche Songwriter 1.0
VERSE 1
========
attractive offer
behind the scenes
like a breath of fresh air
internal market
up to the limit

CHORUS:
=======
arms race
changing the face of
stuff it

VERSE 2
========
black look
plans for the future
like it or lump it
get stuffed
dig deep

CHORUS:
=======
arms race
changing the face of
stuff it

BRIDGE:
=======
buy out
policy statement
slaving over a hot cooker
painted himself into a corner

VERSE 3
========
cop out
sleepy hollow
coin a phrase
don't ask
free love

CHORUS:
=======
arms race
changing the face of
stuff it

I just worked from 5 am to 10 pm. It wouldn't have been that bad except it was on a rusty platform 100 feet off the ground breathing in 4000 parts per million carbon monoxide all day. Plus there were volatile organic compounds, co2, sulfur dioxide, etc.. Plus it was hot. Plus I'm not paid hourly.

Sorry, but Bon Jovi beat you to it.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

follower of fashion
Words by Cliche Songwriter 1.0
VERSE 1
========
open door

CHORUS:
=======
follower of fashion

BRIDGE:
=======
made a run for it

quote:

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quote:

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No you won't. Faggot.

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I just hope that it's Royal Crown cola. It's the only type of cola that doesn't make me break out in a vicious rash.

Dick Cheney was in town today. We missed it all cause we were too busy watching football. Apparently the police department didn't have enough notification he was coming and bitched that they didn't have the manpower to deal with security. Hopefully someone shot him.

I bought 11 CDs (including 3 doubles and one quadruple) at Tower Records' going out of business sale today.

The place was packed. Perhaps they wouldn't be going out of business if they had lowered their prices by 30% about 8 years ago. I never understood how brick and mortar music chains could justify increasing their prices as much as Tower did once people were able to figure out that it costs less than a dollar to make a CD.

Yes, I still buy music. I know--I'm an anachronism. The last three times I went to Tower, though, I walked out and downloaded from iTunes because $17.99 for a CD I could DL for under $12 seemed excessive. I'll still go to the indy place by my office though--their prices are still reasonable.

quote:

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Gelatin (also gelatine, from French gélatine) is a translucent brittle solid substance, colorless or slightly yellow, nearly tasteless and odorless, which is created by prolonged boiling of animal skin, connective tissue or bones.

i.e. Not kosher

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Sorry, but Bon Jovi beat you to it.

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I has a flavor!

At the library book sale on Sunday, I discovered a tome of significant value! It is a rare treasure handed down through the ages in secrecy, lest it's knowledge within fall into the wrong hands! Ladies and gentlemen (and biped), prepare yourself for the coming of a new age! I give you...
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(angelic choir)

Is there a recipe in there that uses a gallon of pickles?

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

There's one that uses an economy sized box of Kix cereal.

And a gallon of pickles.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

That stuff in the cover photo looks like some good eatin'. I always liked Pot Luck Dinner Day in the breakroom.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Indeed. I especially enjoy the Slice-up-a-bunch-of-random-fruit-into-a-bowl-and-call-it-a-"fruit salad" recipe.

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

It includes wonderful recipes such as Cotton Candy Salad, which looks like the time my roommate got drunk on Listerine and then threw it up on a pineapple covered in mandarin oranges (the picture doesn't do the blue vomit justice).

There's also the Ham & Cheese Ball (you guess which is the ham ball).

Corny Beef Pie looks like something someone shit out, only in brick form.

Cereal Candy is for all you people that love covering chex mix with karo.

Almost Cajun Etouffee offended boorite for its use of cream of mushroom soup (and using cream of celery soup instead of actual celery).

Baked Clam Balls reminds me of reading The Gallery of Regrettable Foods.

There's also a Green Bean Casserole (front cover - otherwise not pictured) that includes corn, substitutes cream of mushroom soup for the white sauce, and instead of fried onions, uses crushed graham crackers.

And all the recipes are accompanied by cute little life stories about the people who wrote the recipes. My two favorites are:
1. The man who was a professional chef for 15 years, won awards, published his own cookbook, and now works at Wal-Mart.
2. An elderly gentleman who had a large restaurant for 20 years and now works at Wal-Mart.

Both men were apparently successful professionals in the food industry and now they are forced to eke out a living working at Wal-Mart. My guess is they were offered a gift card in exchange for submitting a recipe and were so strapped for cash that they had no other choice. It's very sad.

Also, this is only volume 1 of a whole set. Just thought I'd let that sink in.

I still have too much leftover Halloween candy.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

[IMG]http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c12/ivytheplant/trick-or-treat.jpg[/IMG]

Is the recipe for that lemon water in there? Everyone laughs at me when I ask for the recipe.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

quote:

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Baked Clam Balls reminds me of reading The Gallery of Regrettable Foods.

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Wow, at our yearly book sale, we usually just have 87 copies each of last year's hot black fiction, like "Baby Mama Drama."

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I has a flavor!