Fowl Ball by biped 6-18-04

May my soccer team play soccer with your chickens, please? Huh? Hell, no! I don't want you a-killin' all of my dang chickens just for your silly little game! Why, you selfish BASTARD! You'll PAY for this! Mark my words, old man...you'll pay DEARLY! Yeah? Well, you'll be a-payin' fer them chickens if you go a-playin' soccer with 'em! This is Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon reminding YOU to think of the poor chickens. And just say NO...to chicken soccer.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

UPS by Rabid_Weasle 6-16-04

I'm gonna come over there and rape you! Yeah, I'd like to see you fly across the world to come and rape me. That's what UPS is for! Open up! Here comes the brown, bitch!

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Poop.

There She Goes by Rabid_Weasle 6-21-04

o/ "There she goes, there she goooes again!" o/ Why are they using this song for a birth control pill commercial? What the hell are they trying to say? "Oh great, the whore is fucking again."

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Poop.

Silly Wigger by Rabid_Weasle 6-26-04

Yo dawg! Check out that phat bling! That shit is totally off the hook! Silly wigger... ...bling is for brothers.

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Poop.

suicide note by areallystupidguy 7-03-04

what's the matter? it's...it's our friend! the compulsive internet addict! he... he killed himself this morning due to his addiction! maybe it was for the best... it was taking over his life. thats terrible! do we know any more details about why he did it? like, what pushed him over the edge? i...i have his suicide note here. i've been too afraid to read it... it'll probably explain everything though. "gtg"

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It's grime time.

Clinton and Freud out of space and time by Spankling 7-18-04

Ya know, Sigy, even when a cigar IS just a cigar it can still be pretty damn hot. I don't vant to hear about it. I mean, you get a nice plump, young intern riddin it for a spell and it gets all gooy and smells like... PLEASE STOP! I feel your pain. NO! PLEASE DON'T! I don't vant my pain felt up!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

The Clown Brothers in "Shit-Shape" by biped 7-18-04

Hey, let's go on an ocean cruise, dick-licker! Okay, dog-dick breath! This cruising-around shit sucks! Let's shit on all the passengers! And then skullfuck the captain and piss on him after we shit on him, too! Later... Man, I sure did shit a lot during that cruise! Well, there were a lot of people to shit on! And that's not even counting our normal daily shits!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Japanese Rice Wine by Rabid_Weasle 8-19-04

Jesus has requested I bring him some small cups. What for? Jesus wishes to drink his Japanese rice wine. Oh, for Christ's sake!

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Poop.

Slip 'n Slide the Eye of Your Behind by smamurai 8-13-04

It burns! It bites! It freeeezes! What's wrong dear? Anal sex is what's wrong! Check out my ass. Red means danger right? You need to use some K-Y jelly next time. I do? It's good for what rails ya.

Say Cheese! by smamurai 8-06-04

I just bought a phone with a camera in it. Welcome to the 21st cenury my friend. You have one as well? Oh yeah and it's only a matter of time before you get bored and take a photo of your own penis. So true. Check this out. Hey! In the background you can make out the sales-dude handing you the receipt.

Now whose getting pedantic? by smamurai 8-02-04

Kids, I am Dr. pedantic and today I will be teaching class. Who has a question for me I do. Shouldn't there be a question mark at the end of what you said? No, it was a statment. I was declaring that your classmate, little Bob Who has a question for me. There is no Bob Who in this class. Did you just spell statement incorrectly? No I have not been drinking.? *Ahem* Mother, I told you to stay in the car.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

[ Posted comic does not exist ] by biped 8-25-04

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

SUPER-HA-HA-FUNNY DUDE by biped 8-25-04

BLEEDLE-DEE-BLAH!!! DOTE-DEE-DOTE-DEE-DOE!!! HYECK HYECKITY HOO HAH!!! Oh my GOD... I can't believe I hired this IDIOT to entertain at my daughter's birthday party... BULL-FUCKING-SHIT, BEE-YOTCH!!! I'M SUPER-HA-HA-FUNNY DUDE!!! SO FUCKITY FUCK YOU!!! DOODLE-DEE-DOO!!! Well, you're certainly not funny to ME! In fact, I find you incredibly ANNOYING! BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! HEY KIDS, YOUR MOM'S A FUCKING CUNT!!! HEE HEH-HEH HAH HAW!!! NOW EVERYBODY SING, "EAT SHIT, MOMMY!!!" SHUT UP!!! KIDS, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!!! HE'S A VERY BAD MAN!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Silly Wigger by Rabid_Weasle 6-26-04

Yo dawg! Check out that phat bling! That shit is totally off the hook! Silly wigger... ...bling is for brothers.

Japanese Rice Wine by Rabid_Weasle 8-19-04

Jesus has requested I bring him some small cups. What for? Jesus wishes to drink his Japanese rice wine. Oh, for Christ's sake!

suicide note by areallystupidguy 7-03-04

what's the matter? it's...it's our friend! the compulsive internet addict! he... he killed himself this morning due to his addiction! maybe it was for the best... it was taking over his life. thats terrible! do we know any more details about why he did it? like, what pushed him over the edge? i...i have his suicide note here. i've been too afraid to read it... it'll probably explain everything though. "gtg"

3 of the best fucking comics ive seen on here in ages. The first one works on me SOLELY because ive just watched Kill Bill Vol.1 for about the 20th time.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

:D

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Poop.

Puddin' On The Zits by biped 8-30-04

PUDDING SNACK!!! PUDDNG SNACK!!! PUDDING SNACK!!! SHAVING CREAM!!! SHAVING CREAM!!! SHAVING CREAM!!! Ha-ha, hold on, boys! You're BOTH right! It's a pudding snack...AND it's shaving cream! Right, dear? Well, actually... no, Edna. I'm afraid the boys simply discovered my secret ten-year jizz collection.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Little Girls Hate Sean Connery by biped 9-02-04

Come on, honey! There's a Sean Connery movie comin' on -- you'll love it! No, Mommy! NO!!!!! "Careful wot you shoot at, Ryan -- some things in HEE-YAH don't react well to BOOLETS!" WAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAA!!! Well? How'd ya like it, sweetie? FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU, MOMMY!!! I HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS!!!

Wisegoodfellaguys by biped 9-04-04

Da boss shows da new wiseguy aroun'... Ovah dere, dat's Johnny UFOs. Gee boss, why da dey call 'im Johnny UFOs? Cuz he tinks he seen a UFO once. An' ovah dere, dat's Frankie Pterodactyls. Gee boss, why da dey call 'im Frankie Pterodactyls? Cuz he read an article about pterodactyls in da newspaper once. Wow! Gee boss, can I be Tony Big, Sloppy, Reasonably-Priced Blowjobs?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Belt Off by Rabid_Weasle 9-10-04

...man, if my kid ever acted like that I'd take my belt off... Wait! You mean you beat your kids! No... let me finish! And then I'd fuck my wife and try again.

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Poop.

The Full Meal Deal by biped 9-10-04

See? I told you I'd pull my pants down if you didn't knock 15% off the price of those McNuggets. And if you don't throw in a free fried pie, I assure you the shorts are next. Good. I was wondering what your penis and testicles looked like.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Free Erections in Iraq by kaufman 9-10-04

It is horrible. Ever since the bombing of Baghdad, my mosaics have been destroyed, and I haven't been able to put them back together. Have you tried new Cialis? No, I haven't. Will that help? The pieces won't stay in place. Guaranteed, you'll be able to get your beautiful mosaics reassembled. Later... Look! It is completely restored! Baghdad will rise from the ashes! Cialis. Guaranteed to cure Iraq tile dysfunction.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

That comic made me fall flat on my back with my feet sticking up in the air.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

A Brand-New Series! "My So-Called Everyday Life" Part One! by biped 9-11-04

And now, meet the cast of zany characters you're going to get to know VERY well in future episodes, as I tell you a little bit about... "MY SO-CALLED EVERYDAY LIFE"! This is my snarky neighbor, Dave. He'll often pop in unexpectedly and make brutally honest observations about me! Putting on weight? Or did all of your clothes suddenly "shrink" again? Now meet my kooky co-worker, Debbie! She has the hots for me and stalks me mercilessly! Man, what a handful of heartaches SHE's going to be! Ooh! Ooh! You ogled me! SEXUAL HARASSMENT! Why didn't you return my calls last night, you bastard? And this dapper, yet somewhat "sexually ambiguous" fellow is -- umm -- ahh, fuck it. You're never going to see any of these lame-ass fucking characters again. I -- huh?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Various People Shout "GLAYNATAR!!!" At Each Other by biped 9-22-04

GLAYNATAR!!! GLAYNATAR!!! GLAYNATAR!!! GLAYNATAR!!! GLAYNATAR!!! GLAYNATAR!!!

Various Adults Teach Wrong Things To Children by biped 9-22-04

It's good to smoke cigarettes, Sally. They're good for you. Go ahead and eat the yummy chicken before it's fully cooked, son. Today we are going to learn about what vile, godless creatures babies are.

Various People Deny That Richard Simmons Is Gay by biped 9-22-04

Richard Simmons is not gay. Richard Simmons is not gay. Richard Simmons is not gay. Richard Simmons is not gay. Richard Simmons is not gay. Richard Simmons is not gay.

"NON-FELLATIO COMICS" not starring: Ron Jeremy & Traci Lords by biped 9-23-04

Hey Mom, guess what? I just saw a priest leading a funny animal parade! DAMN IT, BOBBY!!! YOU SKIP YOUR RITALIN ONE MORE TIME AND I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!!!

Timmy Screws Up by biped 9-24-04

Mommy, why have I always had a screw in my bellybutton? DON'T ASK, Timmy! All I can tell you is... don't EVER unscrew it! Do you HEAR? DON'T EVER UNSCREW IT! But, at last, one day curiosity finally got the better of Timmy, so he crept into the woods behind his house, and... Now I'll unscrew this darn screw and find out what the big deal is! MOMMY! MOMMY! MY BUTT FELL OFF! OH, MY GOD!!!