The door to the room flew open, shattering the mood as it slammed against the wall. A lone figure stepped through the doorway, a stray shaft of moonlight falling on its face. Yvette gasped in surprise.

"Wendy!"

"That's right, you little slut," she said, striding purposefully over to where the two stood. Daryl shifted slightly, blocking her view of the table. She sneered and shoved him roughly aside, picking up the single sheet of 100% rag solvent-free 20 lb. vellum, scanning it quickly.

A bead of sweat ran down Daryl's forehead.

"Honey, I can explain, we were just..."

"You were just graphing statistical data behind my back. Yes, I can see that. I'm not stupid."

Glaring at the pair, Wendy reached inside of her jacket. Yvette's eyes widened as she moved closer to Daryl, clutching his arm in fright.

From within the depths of her coat Wendy drew forth a stainless steel rule; a full 24" in length and marked in increments of 1/32". Photo etched for accuracy. She tapped it slowly against her palm.

"I think both of you need to be taught a lesson."

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

quote:

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Ok, damnit, I'm not gay either.

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Wait on... you, and him, and another pair of chaps? Four of you? A big all-bloke all-in foursome?

I hope you got some video footage...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Well, where's the next installment of Sexual Statistics? I didn't pay a dollar a chapter for only 2 posts.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

That's right. You didn't pay a dollar a chapter.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

What Else Do We Have Under the Sink? by gabe_billings 4-01-01

Hey Gabe, you've been slacking off with comic production lately. Only a handful in the last couple weeks. What's up? One word, my friend. Tits. What's that supposed to mean? You're too busy getting laid to write comics? No. I just like to say the word tits. So just how much glue to you have to sniff to reach your level of enlightenment? I'm not sure. I ran out last Thursday and I've been mainlining Drano instead.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

laughing..too...hard...cannot...type...

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

Jael brought up the fact that this was a funny quote. And I agree. Especially since I wrote it. So I thought we'd dredge it up and poke fun at Obi some more.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Please, everyone make fun of me here. On this thread. So that it may increase in number and multiply, over taking that damn religious thread. I so want this thread to take over the other, (thus proving gabe's universal geekness to 4 decimal points) that I shall give you ammunition to attack and ridicule me:

- I have ear hair
- I once dated a girl named Bruce
- When I'm lonely, I rape
- I make jokes about rape
- At four, I accidently drowned my cousin while inventing an ingenious game called Submarine
- I spray it, I don't say it
- Uncontrollable, combustible flatulence
- I wear spiderman underoos
- Two words: I can't count.

Ok, in case that's not enough to keep this thread going till it overtakes the religious one, I'd just like to say that all democrats suck, I hate jews, and women should be kept barefoot and pregnant.

Have at me.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

This thread could do over 139 posts.... It could happen.... And I could start shitting myrrh and Krugerrands, but I DOUBT IT!

Love and Mwuuhahahaha,

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

DexX dashes in from another thread, red-faced and puffing.

OK, I'm here! Where's the naked hula-hoop dancing thing that Obi Wan Kejobi mentioned?

DexX looks around for Jael, engaged in unclad gyrations, but can't see her.

I haven't missed it have I?

Wait a minute.... OBIII!!!

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Hula hoop? Naked? Jael?
OBIJO, YOU BASTARD!

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

That's not a hula hoop. It's Jael's pet ringworm Vizzini.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Mmmmmm, festering parasite...

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

This can of whupass says it belongs to someone called Obi Wan Kejobi. I thought it might mean old Ben Kejobi...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

No, Old Ben got eaten by a band of marauding womp rats.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

{{Hail Mary time.}}

Hey, everyone, let's celebrate our childlike innocence and sailor-like crassness by playing the lurid alphabet game. All words must have to do with sex or silverware in some way. Only one letter per post please. I'll kick it off:

A - Assmaster

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

B - Bungbandit

This, of course, refers to silverware.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

B-Blowjob

Ya'll missed the nekkid hula gyrations. Those occurred during my water aerobics class. Unfortunately, the little old ladies didn't find it quite as funny as I did.

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

C - cuntbunny

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What others say about boorite!

Dingleberry. As in, 'wirthling is a dingleberry'.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

If that wasn't lurid or sexual enough, I'll tack on 'D-Dildo', just to be safe.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Wirthling and I seem predisposed to posting at the same time it seems. grrrr

umm lessee

E: elephantitus of the balls

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

f, f, f...

Hmmm...can't think of anything...

Oh yeah!

F - Fork

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

G - Groping

(My uncle taught me that word.)

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.