BigFrank105

Great. So repost it.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I meant can't. Damn me.

I'm back. The wedding was great, everything came together despite my wife breaking 3 of her ribs a week beforehand and lumping me with all the last minute preparations. Then I got sick on the honeymoon and have been sick ever since. Now I'm back at work.

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

Isn't that fun? My wife and I were both sick for our whole honeymoon, too.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Injokester

Sounds like SOMEONE has a case of the Tuesdays!

gabe_billings

The best part was when our fevers decided to work in opposite, so I had to sit outside in the tropical heat in a sweater, while she was inside with the a/c turned down as far as it would go.

On a lighter note though we did get out to the Great Barrier Reef a few times to snorkel, and had beautiful weather the day we sailed out to Whitehaven beach. And our bungalow was right next to the pool which has a bar, so we could spend time together if I sat in the sun beside the pool and she jumped in the cool water.

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

I used to know a guy named Sammy Lopez who spent his wedding night getting as drunk and fucked up as possible with his new wife.  Me and the guys were coming out of 7-Eleven around midnight and they pulled into the parking lot.  Sammy opened the passenger door and hung out of the car and started heaving his guts out.  Then he stumbled up to the door and we had to point out to him that he had an entire lid of weed hanging out of his shirt pocket. 

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Injokester

Congratulations.

On the wedding, not being sick. Unless you're into that kind of thing.

At the last wedding I attended the groom had a blazing row with his mother over whether Jesus existed.

All this talk of weddings only reminds me of my own, coming up at the end of June.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

At my wedding, my best man got drunk off his ass, hit on my married sister-in-law*, almost got into a fistfight with my brother-in-law, then passed out on the men's room floor.  Good times.

 

*To be fair to him, she was kinda flirting.

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I has a flavor!

On my wedding day, I picked boorite up from work, we went to the courthouse, said our spiel, and drove home in a blizzard to sleep the rest of the afternoon.

Leading up to it was nothing but trouble from my mom, who wanted some sort of fairytale wedding so she could masturbate with the ice sculpture and show off to everyone how great she is.

We had a $1,600 wedding and a $9,000 honeymoon spanning two continents. Not just any chick will let you get away with that.

ivytheplant

My first wedding was like that. $60, half an hour walking around the courthouse and bang; married. We did that one so I could get added onto my wife's medical insurance from her job.

Then we did the big church one about 10 months later which was way more of a pain in the ass.

So does that make me a bigamist?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

ivytheplant

Oh how I wanted that.  But there's this whole sibling rivalry crap between my wife and her sister, so our wedding had to be "even nicer" than hers.  I just thank whatever higher power exists that I didn't have to pay a penny of it.

But I still wish she would have let me pick the music, so we could have replaced the tired Chicken Dance and Macarena with "Thanks For Fuckin' At The Fuck Shop."

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I has a flavor!

If I had a "proper" wedding, the Chicken Dance would have a restraining order put on it that doesn't allow it within 50 miles of wherever the wedding was.

By the way, UnknownEric's post was reply #1000 for this thread. Go, you!

When my nephew had his (first) wedding, it was a huge, insanely-expensive outdoor affair with all the romantic trimmings, including sappy customized vows and even a horse-drawn carriage that came up and whisked the newlywed couple away.  Afterwards there was a big reception back at the fancy hotel where all the guests were staying, with a band and dancing and the Macarena and YMCA and everything.  The marriage lasted about two months.  That whole "big fancy wedding" crap is stupid.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I used to have a catchall email address set for my website, so anything @woodenbadger.com would come to me. I must have gotten rid of it a while back and now I know why.

I just reset it last night to forward to my gmail account, and already there's about 800 messages in the spam folder.

HOLY SPAM, BATMAN!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I just read this sentence in an article about the UN and World Health Organization recommending circumcision to lower risk of HIV infection:

The music at our reception was really nice, and we avoided the "traditional" music that gets played. Then when Alice got sick during the honeymoon I did the chicken dance naked to cheer her up.

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

Injokester

 

Really, 'cause me doing the chicken dance naked just makes my wife throw up more?

the chicken dance was but a mere john the baptist, announcing the coming of peanut butter jelly time. that's where it's at. there you go.

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what if nigger meant kite

crackpanther

 

Really, 'cause me doing the chicken dance naked just makes my wife throw up more?

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I threw up just thinking about it.

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What others say about boorite!

The chicken dance was invented to erase the stupidity line between drunk and sober people at weddings.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I just needed to share this bit of brilliance from NationStates with you guys:

Jizztonia Decides: Cumstains On The Dinner Table? The Issue

In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Jizztonia's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that cumstains could be added to the menu.

The Debate

1. "The fact is, the cumstain population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Pip Wong. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have cumstain kebabs, cumstain pies, cumstain-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
   
   
2. "I agree that something needs to be done about cumstain over-population," says random passer-by Roxanne Gutenberg, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
   
   
3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Anne-Marie Hanover. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The cumstains were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The cumstain is part of what makes Jizztonia a great nation!"
   

 

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I has a flavor!