As luck would have it, my resident geek just called me and I posed this question to him and he told me what's what.
The whole idea of you not being able to run multiple PCs off of one connection is apparently just a method of bilking more money off of you. You can do it either by using a router, or a PC with internet connection sharing and a hub, either of which do the same thing.
Thus your hub was fine, and your router will be fine, too.
Then you can tell your friends, "I have a router for my computer."
And they'll say "What kind of bits does it take? Does it make good dovetails?"
Then you'll say, "No, the other kind of router, idiot."
And they'll say, "Oh, sorry."
And you'll say, "No problem, boorite."
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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.