As of Saturday I am more or less out of a job. The store that I work at has sold and they are moving next door in the strip mall, so they will be closed for the next month. On the bright side I'll be getting severance pay. Hooray, money for free!

---
Poop.

Are they offering you first chance at a job when they reopen?

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

HCRoyall

My sister-in-law lives in Fredericksburg.  Is that near Bumfuck Nowhere?  :D

The only town in Virginia I'd like to live in is Chincoteague.

---
I has a flavor!

UnknownEric

My sister-in-law lives in Fredericksburg. Is that near Bumfuck Nowhere? :D

---

I'm around an hour from Fredericksburg, give or take fifteen minutes.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

attitudechicka

Yeah, but that's not for another month at the earliest, so I more or less have to find a new job anyway. Plus the new boss will probably actually make me do work, sooo...

---
Poop.

I am going to slowly skin my fiancee's cat and soak her in salty lemon juice. Nothing deters this cat from trying to steal anything and everything I need, not even a boot to the face. This time she stole and hid the house key I had gotten for my fiancee, leaving me to tear the house apart this morning trying to find it and making me late for work. I still haven't found the damn thing.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

HCRoyall

YOU SICK FUCK!!!

 ...

Dip it in battery acid instead.

HCRoyall

Have you tried tying important things to cinder blocks?

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

gabe_billings

Have you tried tying important things to cinder blocks?

---

She chews through the cords.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

What about supergluing your keys to your pants?

What about supergluing your nuts to a bus?

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Great way to spend a Tuesday.

I just farted.  Thankfully, nobody is in the office with me right now, because it has an unfortunate odor.

---
I has a flavor!

HCRoyall

It would be really unfortunate if you left some of those cyanide mousie-toys lying around.

---
What others say about boorite!

My vet mentioned once that one or two Tylenol will off a cat.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

gabe_billingsi'd switch vets

---
what if nigger meant kite

and my news mentioned that feeding it should do the trick

---
what if nigger meant kite

gabe_billingsi already play in a star trek uniform (first lieutenant) and speak only in klingon. and it's not a 'schtick' or a 'lifestyle choice.' i was born this way

---
what if nigger meant kite

I found the Holy Grail today.

mandingo

Did it hurt your mom when she delivered the bat'leth?

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I saw a woman get airlifted by helicopter off a hiking trail yesterday.

My cell phone pics don't do it justice, plus, it was an uncharacteristically grey day in SD:

Is the last photo one of the chopper or the fat whore falling through the sky?

the last one is of the woman and a paramedic getting winched up. as soon as she cleared the brush, the helicopter flew away while raising them up. it was pretty wild--on TV it looks like they always hover while lifting the person they're rescuing.

A new local helicopter service here visited the fire dept I interned at last fall to sort of introduce themselves. I thought they said it's something like a $5-$10K price tag every time they pick someone up. I hope her insurance pays for it.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I neglected to mention at the time but I became a Dad again to little Harry on 29/03*. I am pretty tired.

 

 

*because that's when he started paying his subscription again, larf!

---
GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.