Well, everyone else is doing these things and nothing like being reply 100 I guess...

Okay, ten things.

1. Unlike choad above me, I have dyed my hair. Multiple times actually. Not nowadays but back in highschool when I thought that equalled rebellion. Blonde, red, greeen, you name it. Yeah, I know. Fruity. Oh well... I almost got suspended for it once, but I managed to talk my way out of it.

2. I am half Australian and lived in Sydney for six years. My grandfather is the former Governor of New South Wales.

3. Had a couple political editorials published in New Hampshire newspapers in the lead-up to the election a couple months ago.

4. I was once stalked by a certifiably insane girl I briefly went out with, who would literally leave thirty messages on my phone a day and break into my dorm room and wait for me to come back from class. It really put me off sex for a while and made me quite scared. She was like a female 'Cable Guy'.

5. I've never had a relationship last longer than six weeks, which in retrospect probably has something to do with no. 4

6. I'm so ADD I forgot what this post is about!! I've had enough ritalin in my life to kill a herd of elephants. I took it before it was the cool thing to do.

7. Outran an Asian gang that wanted to rob and kill me. Seriously. Well, maybe they just wanted to beat me up more, but in any case I was scared for my life.

8. Been in a serious car wreck with a couple friends, in which the car was hit by another car as we were coming onto the highway. We did a couple 360's in the middle of the highway and it was basically totalled. I somehow came out of it with only a few bruises and cuts. My friends were also lucky. We were all wearing our seatbelts. The driver of the other car smashed his head against his windshield. Not so lucky. Scarier than the Asian gang episode.

9. I'm a bit of a drama dork. I've been in plays in highschool and college. *sigh*

10. During New Year's last year, I made out with two girls at the same time. I'm hoping to make it three this year.

Yeah, I was really reaching for some of those, I know.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

A couple other cool things to make up for the stupid things I mentioned in the last post.

1. I used to work as a college radio DJ. I would curse on the air and get threatened with a firing every night, but they never followed through. Every show I would get kind of wasted too. One morning they found an empty Tequila bottle in the trash. They finally followed through. :-/

2. Jon Stewart did a live show at my old college once. Afterwards, I asked him if he wanted to get high. He said yes, but then backed out by saying he had a wife to get back to who wouldn't be happy if he came back all bleary eyed. Ppff. Whatever.

3. Drinking feat: Finished a fifth of Jack Daniel's in one session on three different occasions. Two times ended in puking rallies. The other time was the day after the election. And I didn't puke. Just moped.

4. Aspirin kills me. I took it once when I was six and ended up in the hospital for a day. Haven't taken it since, but the second time will be worse they tell me. This is bad news for a self-proclaimed 'pill popper' such as myself.

5. I know a dark secret about a supposedly straight A-list celebrity because my older brother's best friend works in the entertainment industry as an agent. This celebrity, which I cannot name, hires male hookers to break into his mansion and then he has sex with them. He pays them to break in, so he can claim the hookers are burglars if the cops ever stop by. I can't say anymore, but I will say this person is a household name. (and yes, I'm aware most people won't believe me)

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

Let me guess, you said you never slept with him, just dated a few times, didn't you? Didn't you!? Bastard.

Let me add that to my list of "I'd Pay To See That."

1. I can't sleep, either because I can't wait to open my loot or the cats are being more annoyingly snuggly than usual, so I'm sitting here, eating butter pecan ice cream, which I vowed never to do again until the Baskin Robbins opened back up since theirs is the best on the planet.

2. I really don't like butter pecan at all. I'm addicted to mint chocolate chip and mocha almond fudge.

3. I cannot understand how people can hate others based on their race. It completely eludes me. I can't even try to comprehend it because it's such an alien thought.

4. I'm jealous that Jews get bar/bat mitzvahs as a "coming of age" celebration. All I got was a lousy confirmation and there wasn't even cake involved. Spent the summer in classes, only to have some random words read on a Sunday in July with a bunch of other kids. Then we went on as nothing had happened.

5. I wish I was in Arkansas with my family right now.

6. I wish I was paid to steal stuff from stores so I can expose holes in security. Not to help the stores, but to rub their faces in how much smarter I am than they are.

7. I'm a textbook Pisces on the cusp of Aquarius, but if I had been born on time, or a week later than I did, I would have been an astrological clone of my mother, who's a Virgo (minus the sun sign).

8. I desperately want a hysterectomy.

9. I can't stand iodine or alcohol as disinfecting agents, but I absolutely love peroxide.

10. When I had my (one and only) wisdom tooth removed, I got to watch the entire process on a monitor above my head. If I ever have surgery, I want to do the same.

We may get bar-mitzhvahs, but you guys get Christmas every year. Guess what I'm doing today? Here's a hint: I'm not getting presents. :-/

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

National Jews Go To The Movies Day?

I'm not Christian either, but that doesn't stop me from celebrating the greed aspect of the holiday. I gots me some great loot!

I just read this whole thread and decided to add to it.

1)I am currently nineteen years of age. Soon to be twenty, on the second of January.

2)My Stripcreator alias is fallingdove, in which all of his comics are 100% untrue. (I forgot the password to it, so please Brad, help me out!)

3)Yes, I am Filipino, but people say I look Japanese.

4)My absolute favorite anime is Cowboy Bebop.

5)I am currently listening to Phil Collins. (By choice.)

6)Recently turned into a myspace.com addict. (Ask to see!)

7)Played the Playstation game, Xenogears for fourteen hours straight.

8)I have a very lovely girlfriend. It will be our ninth month together on the tenth of January.

9)I live somewhat near choadwarrior, and I've seen him drive on the I-15. (I think.)

10)I stole my user name Matchbook Romance, from a band. I don't even like them anymore.

1) My jaws are overdeveloped and filled with multiple rows of shark-like teeth.

2) My mottled, black and gray body seems to carry some sort of wasting illness. Angry, red, pus-filled sores that pulse and weep cover my flesh.

3) I have a blog.

4) Hundreds of squirming larvae about the size of a human arm line my stomach, which doubles as a womb. These little creatures sometimes spill out of my mouth, though they die within an hour for want of my life-giving nutrient bile.

5) I'm really into new music.

6) I've never had a relationship that lasted longer than 15 minutes.

7) Twin rows of dozens of pulpy, rudimentary legs tipped with bony spurs provide me with a surprisingly effective means of locomotion.

8) I take a dim view of any authority figure or group that tries to impose any sort of rules on my debauched lifestyle.

9) My least favorite color is blue-green-green-blue-green.

10) I find it easy and satisfying to open up to strangers on the internet and share my personal life honestly with them.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Hey, so do I! I discovered them during my honeymoon in London. Every time someone I know goes to England, I try to get them to smuggle me back a crapload of 'em.

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They were recently voted "Britain's least favourite crisp". If I'm ever on trial, they'll never be able to find a jury of my peers.

National Jews Go To The Movies Day?

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Two decades ago, I did go to the movies on Christmas Day, seeing "Beverly Hills Cop" with my grandmother. I don't think I've done it since.

Nor do I think watching big chunks of TBS's "A Christmas Story" marathon over and over again is what you had in mind.

We went to visit friends and played games all day, though my mother and my sister both did the real Jewish Christmas tradition -- going out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Just like Ralphie ... Deck the harrs with boughs of horry!

Likewise, the missus and I got each other some great stuff.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Alright you fucking sons of bitches, let's learn about Ol' Uncle Baz.

1. I'm left-handed. Well, I write with my left hand. I jerk off, eat, clean teeth, drink, and do everything else with my right hand.

2. Actually, I can jerk off with both hands.

3. I've perhaps been to the hospital more times than all of you. I work at one as a cleaner, and I'm madly in love with the NHS for the shallow reason of them paying me.

4. I've been the last man for a woman to go out with [for 7 months] before she turned into a lesbian.

5. I'm shit-scared of butterflies and also moths.

6. My favourite movie directors are the Coen Brothers.

7. I'm currently 17 and currently severely crushing on a 15 year old. If we were to have sex with her right now, I'd technically be a sex offender.

8. This year I severely crushed on 4 different girls in a row that all had the same name. I didn't know ANY of their names before I started crushing on them. However, I soon realised that each and every one was called Rebecca.

9. I hate mushrooms and also seafood.

10. I'm madly in love with root beer, alas, living in Wales as I do, only one kind of root beer is available to me: Sainsbury's own.

11. The only music bands that actually are releasing music in today's world that I like are McFly and Maroon 5. I hate every other single piece of modern music.

12. I can't fucking stop at other people's limits.

13. Seriously.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

........

Butterflies. You're scared of butterflies. Did a butterfly molest you as a kid?

Sorry, but c'mon... butterflies?! I hope that's a joke.

Nope. Only illegal if you're over 18 like your's truly. Have fun with your current age while you can.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

........

Butterflies. You're scared of butterflies. Did a butterfly molest you as a kid?

Sorry, but c'mon... butterflies?! I hope that's a joke.

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If they did this to you, you wouldn't be laughing so hard:

They Wouldn't Let Poor Rudolph Join in Any Reindeer Games by kaufman 12-20-04

... with one exception. Let's play Operation! Okay, Prancer, remove Butterflies in Stomach. OWWWWWW! damn.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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Nope. Only illegal if you're over 18 like your's truly. Have fun with your current age while you can.

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Age of consent is 16 in Wales, not 18.

http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm

quote:

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quote:

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Nope. Only illegal if you're over 18 like your's truly. Have fun with your current age while you can.

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Age of consent is 16 in Wales, not 18.

http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm

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The fact that there is a website with a grid of legal ages in countries around the world makes me give up hope on humanity. You all suck.

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

I didn't even know sheep lived that long.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Please, not only do you have a leatherbound, well-worn copy of this grid in your pocketbook, but all the places with 16 and up are earmarked and weather-worn.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Please, not only do you have a leatherbound, well-worn copy of this grid in your pocketbook, but all the places with 16 and up are earmarked and weather-worn.

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This coming from the guy who's lucky number is 17 for reasons I shall not disclose?

Ha. I laugh.

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

Fine, I'll disclose it.

17 is my lucky number because that's how many guys I lost to in my first Biscuit Game.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

That website has helped me plan my next holiday.

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

You know, I never did find out just what the Biscuit Game was.

I *could* tell you what the biscuit game is, but more than likely you would never talk to me again.

...

So I'll let Mikey explain it.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

........

Butterflies. You're scared of butterflies. Did a butterfly molest you as a kid?

Sorry, but c'mon... butterflies?! I hope that's a joke.

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They flutter like insane fuckers. I've had giant ones climb the fuck over me whilst I was at a young age. They're fucking creepy, unpredictable fuckers. At least you can tell where a lion is running, butterflies just get everywhere without warning.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Butterflies? Those freakin' things will tear your face right off.

And don't even get me started on bunnies or rainbows.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Here's 10 more because I feel like it:

11. I play rugby any chance I get. I play #7, strong side flanker usually. I have been known to be a wing, but not in a few years.
12. I have been known to slap my opponents hands while playing videogames to give me an edge.
13. I am VERY cute in the morning after I wake up. Once I hit the shower, the ugly seeps back in.
14. I have an eclectic music taste. I can listen to Lightning Bolt one minute, go to Dashboard the next, and then turn on John Mayer.
15. I am a quiet person for the most part, but I can be an obnoxious drunk. I like gin a little too much.
16. I was tongue-tied at birth. They clipped it. My daughter is also tongue-tied and I wouldn't allow it to be clipped. She speaks without a problem.
17. On the subject of tongues, I have a weird bump on mine that I was born with(top, left front side).
18. I once got a black eye in a mosh pit when a kid elbowed me. It was at a Marilyn Manson concert when they played with Rage Against the Machine. Best concert of my life.
19. I am ambidextrous. I write with my right hand, I shoot basketball with my left, and I use both hands to eat with a fork depending on what side of a person I sit on to be polite.
20. If you offer me cotton candy, I will NEVER turn it down. It is the one junk food I eat without guilt.

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.