..old bette midler tapes that his mother had left when she went to become a..

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xx( o Y o. )xx

...fucking fat bitch, and I swear the next time I see her stank ass I'ma shove my foot so far up the bitch's...

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

... nasal cavity that she lactates salty man paste into a midget's ear canal until finally that stank ass cunt bucket ...

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

...burps the national anthem through the third nostril of a hermaphrodite with a flock of seagulls haircut and a large amout of cottage cheese, which causes cancer in lab rats, that was made by none other than...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...a possessed microwave that is possessed because there was this one time where there was a guy and he didn't like this girl so he put her in this microwave and she exploded and died and it sucked and she didn't really like it so she decided to possess the microwave and then take revenge on this guy and she did that and then she thought it was pretty cool so she figured she could make a new living as the Microwave of Doom and everyone who tries to use it gets cancer and dies which kind of sucks because cancer isn't a very nice way to die and you know I bet that that girl doesn't really think of that maybe someone should tell her that cancer is painful and that she should stop killing people with it because if she did stop that would be really great and we wouldn't need to worry about the Microwave of Doom anymore and that would be cool because getting cancer from warming up a hot dog kind of sucks and if it would stop that would be great but oh well you know it probably won't stop because...

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Blue is the color of victory.

... noonie's asshole tastes better and also because ...

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

...there's no place like home, unless you're Yanni, who is just like beans in the fact that he's a musical fruit...

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

..makes you want to toot, and it goes great with sardines and peppers, which also goes good with an italian treat known as...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...Hot potato hot potato, or in germany people like to refere to it as....

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"Before you judge me take a look at you, cant you find something better to do"

...Der Gooblesaggen Deftenn Lapfsenhööööøøggen, which literally means in English...

..."your penis is in my eye", which is actually a very common saying among people who...

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

...aren't careful when watching tentacle rape anime, which is a very big epidemic in...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...South Korea, where the tentacle rape is rampant, but that's nothing compared to Kuala Lampur, which...

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

...has a higher rate of spork-related injuries than any country in the...

...Kuala Lumpur region, which is known globally for...

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Blue is the color of victory.

... fucking your mom in the belly button, but also ...

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

...is known as, i have a big woody, but by woody we mean,...

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"Before you judge me take a look at you, cant you find something better to do"

...that strapon you use because you really don't have a manhood, but that is really beside the point, because there is now a giant ass decending upon the city of lights that is hell bent on death, destruction and causing...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

... Noonie to get really horny, but more importantly ...

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

...the little guy standing in the corner just told me that...

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"Before you judge me take a look at you, cant you find something better to do"

..."go sodomize a horse with a katana." which i did, right after i...

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No.

...picked my teeth with the hat pin that belonged to Marie Antoinette's second cousin twice removed, who had been preserved in a vault underneath France for a really really long time, and no one knows exactly why they did, but whatever reason they did do it for was lost in the sands of Time, which is 5 miles south of Burbank and next to your Uncle Ned's chicken shack, where he...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...eats goats for a living(that's why it's called a chicken shack), mainly because people pay to watch him as he...

... masturbates quietly in his own feces, but lately ...

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

...he's been kinda down so he just sits and stares at the wall, only moving to periodically rape a goat, in fact, he's gotten so bummed that the goats don't even cry when they're raped anymore, and many have had to go to a psychiatrist for a controversial new goat anti-depressant, which causes side effects like...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.