I just wrote a romantic new poem! I hope you like it.
MY BUTTHOLE AND ME
Sometimes my butthole
Likes to wear a disguise
So I give it some glasses
With googly eyes.
And wax lips for smiling
And a frankfurter nose
And a quick spritz of perfume
So it smells like a rose.
And when I walk backwards
With my pants pulled way down
It appears Mr. Butthole
Is strolling around.
He asks girls for dates
And they sometimes agree
So we take them to dinner
My butthole and me.
But sometimes the girl
Falls so madly in love
That into my butthole
Her tongue she will shove.
So I'm forced to inform her,
If she fails to surmise,
That he's not a real person--
He's my butt in disguise.
But upon one occasion
This ruse mattered not
She still loved my butthole
Which she knew as "Scott."
An elaborate wedding
Was her unyielding plan
So my butthole got married
With me as "best man."
His wife's Mrs. Butthole
Scott Butthole is he
And we both live with Sheila
My butthole and me.
---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.