I have recently been awarded with first place all time funny. So for this competition I shall choose my successor. The roots of all evil are based in the fact that as human we each contain a small piece of divinity and we all strive to combine these pieces and escape this wretched world. Thus we breed.
Now on to the rules:

You MAY NOT use different characters

You MAY NOT use different backgrounds for the last panel

Everything else is fair game.

218 Kedvale Court by ElTigreMask2K 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins.

Apparently contests don't end around here anymore. So judging will be never. Or I judge Friday. Friday night judging so the winner has all weekend to celebrate.
Good luck.

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Menthol?

FTC 22 by dcomposed 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. Bitches just want a fat dick.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

FTC 22: What women want by shark_energy 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. So if I show her respect, yet at the same time treat her like the slut that she is, I will have her hooked? It worked for me with your mother.

The rules are pretty open, if I can find an old strip that fits can I use it?

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

FTC 22 : Where Can You See Lions? ... Only in Kenya! by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. Ba Weep Grah Na Weep Ninnybong. Till All are One.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

FTC 22 : Irrelevance is Resistant.You will be Ass-humiliated by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. Dad , is that you getting oral sex from a blonde with a 38DD chest whilst shes done up the ass by a black guy? Well son, we were short of funds, and i needed to put you through college. Dwarf porn aint pretty, but it pays the bills.

FTC 22 : Dwarf Tossing Contest by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. "Eeeeeeeemanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable ... " "Heidegger Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table"

FTC 22 : This is not The greatest Injoke in the World. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. Cousing Wilford is a fucking retard. He said "Look out for dee cock train" Wise words indeed if you dont want to be shot twice , in the face , with bullets , not cum.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

If you have an old strip with the exact same first two panels I wrote then feel free to use it. If you happen to have a strip that has the exact same two first panels I wrote then please get out of my head immediately.

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Menthol?

FTC 22: Family Tree by crabby 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. So what was cousin Wilford trying to tell me? I don't remember mentioning a cousin Wilford. I told you to move out and start a life of your own. Chicks dig that.

Crabby that is class :)

DONT DO IT!! by thisstinks17 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. Well dad, he told me what ever you do dont penis pancakes into your stuff.. Oh.*pulls a pancake out of his stuff* I guess thats why I haven't got laid lately..

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"Before you judge me take a look at you, cant you find something better to do"

FTC #22: Moulin Splooge by Xuanwu 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. ...and then he burst out with "Elephant Love Medley" and I had to kill him. Good job! Prison inmates get plenty of propositions from lonely females! And you'll get to practice with your fellow inmates.

FTC #22: Mission Impeccable by Xuanwu 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. ...and then his wheelchair exploded. I told him that message would self-destruct after five seconds.

FTC #22: Neon Genesis Physics by Xuanwu 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. I understand now! The AT Field is the barrier that separate every mind in existence! It is why we are all fundamentally alone! ... What the fuck are you talking about?

FTC-the best orifice is a happy orifice by xxausrottenxx 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. ...something about origins and relays and stuff yeah, hes always had a thing with group sex, its best not to listen to him

FTC-its only a queef until someone gets hurt by xxausrottenxx 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. son, ive been thinking, and i think that it actually wasnt a good idea to ask to mung their daughter after she dies

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xx( o Y o. )xx

FTC 22: 5p4m by Dinah 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. so, how can i get cinderella in bed? viagra + penis pump + sex pills = victory. spam is genius.

FTC #22: Sicilian Love by NooniePuuBunny 2-09-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. Offering to plow her till she begs you for mercy is not the way to a woman's heart. If you say dumb things like that, you'll end up getting your legs broken by her cousin Bruno from the Bronx.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

FTC #22: Getting Your Five Dollar's Worth by Xuanwu 2-10-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. That feeling in your crotch isn't love, son. Sorry.

Awesome Transformers Movie reference, KKP.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

FTC 22: Anteballum by kaufman 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. I think Cousin Wilford's been fooling around with Mom again. Hallelujah! That means I'll have more time to tend to the sheep.

FTC 22: Getting a foot in the door by kaufman 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. Ok, I've got your kneecap and Wilford's unused calf muscle. Am I ready to win my girl? Not yet. You need a femur parts.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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Awesome Transformers Movie reference, KKP.

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FTC#22: Barely Lived Through This by UnknownEric 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. He tried to date Courtney Love.

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I has a flavor!

quote:

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quote:

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Awesome Transformers Movie reference, KKP.

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Cheers Mikey. It went unnoticed for 48 hours, and i thought most people had missed it.

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FTC22: Track Shun by ObiJo 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. So what did he say? Fuck if I remember. I wheeled him into the catbox then went off to diddle Mr. Mittens.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I have no illusions about winning this contest, seeing as how the host apparantly dislikes me. But I like these things, so I'm going to enter regardless.

FTC 22 - Informer by MikeyG 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. So he told me his punk-ass got laced up by some trick-ass, nasty ho, and I done come up in yo grill to tell yo ass da newz, O.G. You've been out of my sphere of influence for 10 minutes and you turn Wanksta on me.

FTC 22 - S(omething) T(o) D(ecipher) by MikeyG 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. ..and so he told me you'd decipher it. This is terrible news. We had thought the Leg-Chewing Vaginal Lobster Creatures threat had been eliminated...

FTC 22 - Stay at the Waldwarf Astoria! by MikeyG 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. ...and that's what Cousin Wilford said. According to Dwarven coding, he just told you that your ass is sweeter than a blueberry muffin.

FTC 22 - I'm patella'n ya, love stinks. by MikeyG 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. It seems like love can sweep you right off your feet. Beautiful women WILL make you weak in the knees.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I have no illusions of winning this contest, seeing as how my comics reek. But I like consuming space on the server and torturing people with my awful lack of humor and so I'm posting this garbage in these contests reguardless of that fact.

FTC #22: High Maintenence by NooniePuuBunny 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. She's gonna suck you dry of your resources and then break your legs in 5 different places once you've run out of cash.

FTC #22: Domestic Violence - Its a problem for everyone. by NooniePuuBunny 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. Your cousin Wilford's third wife was a bitch from hell that threw him down the stairs during an argument.

FTC #22: Cousin Wilford is "Special" by NooniePuuBunny 2-11-04

Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor. Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself. Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights? My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins. ..he said that an unclean woman destroyed his legs. Ah! That explains why he turned gay. I've always wondered...