The topic is twofold. I would like at least one entry in each category, but the first one is the main one. The aesthetics of the second one will be tough given the limited backgrounds, but I am sure you clever monkeys can come up with something. The topics are:

World's Worst Thing to Say to Your Doctor

and

World's Worst Thing to Say to the Person in the Adjacent Bathroom Stall

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

WW7: Doctor, Doctor by umfumdisi 2-18-04

Terminal hangnails? I ain't never washed my butt. No, you "have not ever" washed your butt. I don't think you went deep enough. Try again.

WW7: What's Up, Doc? by umfumdisi 2-18-04

But you wanted to give me a cat scan. I swear; I have NOT had any absinthe! *Quack*

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

and a little toilet humor...

WW7: Quit Stalling by umfumdisi 2-18-04

So, do yours sink or swim?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Aaaaaaah. Good to have you back, umfum.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

WW#7: Oops by ivytheplant 2-18-04

1. All right, Miss--? Mary. Typhoid Mary. 2. About that gynecological exam... 3. Three syllables: "Mal-prac-tice."

WW#7: Crap by ivytheplant 2-18-04

1. This is the best thing I've ever tasted! 2. Janice was right. It really was like squeezing a spiked watermelon out between my legs! 3. Damn, I lost my suppositories. Well, here goes nothing! *splash*

WW#7: Bureaucracy is Fun! by ivytheplant 2-18-04

1. I have no money or insurance. 2. I'm probably going to die before you can collect. 3. I have no money or insurance and me, my family, sneaky Dr. Smith, and a cornholing robot are headed for a long mission to deep space.

WW#7: Try These In Wal-Mart by ivytheplant 2-18-04

1. Why isn't it dead yet? 2. Man, fitting 20 kilos of heroin up my ass isn't as easy as it looked in the manual. 3. TOBOR BORED!!

WW7: Worst thing to say to doctor or in restroom is the same by fpd 2-18-04

Please bend over now, so that I can take your stool sample. Doctor, I must tell you, you're who I'm gay for today. Jim, come over to my stall. I have a special treat for you. Don't give me any of your shit, man. No, my shit's not the treat. I have to tell you, you're who I'm gay for today. Stay the hell away from me, man.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Bad day for Dr Doodles by shark_energy 2-19-04

10am That was the best sex ever doc. I must say though I am surprised a man of your talents didn't notice my crabs... Doh 1pm I've been sent from the emergency ward. You must closely examine and apply treatment to my anus...NOW Bah 5pm That was the best sex ever doc. I must say though I am surprised a man of your talents didn't notice the DNA link...21 years ago you shagged my mother... No!

I will knock up some toilet fun when I get more time!

My toilet entry! (literally!)

Cubicle of Love by shark_energy 2-19-04

Joshua popped into a random book store to use the lavatory... Damn! First this bowl for a toilet, now no paper? What kind of a lavatory is this?! Erm, excuse me? Sorry to be rude but I don't appear to have any paper in my cubicle. Would you be so kind as to pass yours over? I'm sorry, I don't appear to have any paper either young man. Perhaps I could give you something else to mop up with? Just bend near that hole there... Erm you are gonna wipe for me? What the fuck? Oh what the hell its starting to dry up and cling. Go for it...*zip* Next day... What the hell happened to you Josh? Glory Hole Bum Bashing

World's Worst Things to Say to Your Doctor by niteowl 2-19-04

1. I haven't showered in a month. 2. A coupla 'dem 'dere bugs jumped offa me an' onta you. 3. I discovered some creative uses for those tongue depressors while you were out of the room. Wanna see?

In The Stall by niteowl 2-19-04

1. Check this one out. It curls up into an almost perfect circle! 2. *mrmgrrmmrm* Sorry but I just couldn't wait until I got home to jerk off. 3. Oof. I shouldn't have had Taco Bell for lunch. This is gonna be a bad one.

I apologize for stealing Ivy's idea for the background in the Bathroom strip, but it's the best one for the strip IMO.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

In The Stall - Celebrities Uncensored by niteowl 2-19-04

Saddam Hussein. Ouch. We got a Weapon of Ass Destruction over here. Dracula in the ladies' room. Psst...any used maxipads floating in your bowl over there? Ron Jeremy. Ain't there a plunger in here? Nevermind, I'll just snake this bad boy myself.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

not exactly in the stall, but they're discussing a famous toilet. close enuff? -begs

Toilet Talk by coldpizza 2-19-04

Ay bloke, ya remember that scene in "Trainspotting" when Ewan McGregor goes deep sea diving in the cruddy hopper, do ya? I sure do, mate! It's one of me favorites! Well, I was just thinking to meself how bloody cool it would be if that was me VERY OWN hopper! Uh, cool as in ... you want a cruddy hopper? Or cool as in ... you'd fancy the McGregor lad swimming around IN your hopper? Well, just the cruddy hopper, of course! Haha, Ewan is definitely not me type! Indeed! Nor mine. Now that Kino in John Steinbeck's "The Pearl"? I'd let him do the backstroke in me shitter any day!

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Love is like oxygen. You can take it up the ass, but it's way better in your mouth.

Let me just reiterate this in case no one understands how the World's Worst has been going. Take a look at the format ivytheplant uses to make her World's Worst comics. THAT is the perfect way. Either have one comment in the middle panel with the other two blacked out or have three different comments, one in each panel. Please. Thank you.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Hooray! I'm perfect!

Take THAT, mom!

2 birds...

Worst thing to say to your Doctor in a toilet by shark_energy 2-24-04

Everything ok in there Jeffrey? No I'm still struggling with this sample doc. Maybe you could try talking dirty to me?

WW7: Bathroom Follies by DragonXero 2-24-04

Hey, you got a lighter over there? Wait, is this the right bathroom? Hey doc! I just found out I have hemerrhoids!

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Get them entries in! I'll be judging on Thursday or Friday.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

WW7-going in the bathroom by xxausrottenxx 2-24-04

man, these private viewing booths are a bargain

Untitled by xxausrottenxx 2-24-04

whoop, got some blood in that one

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xx( o Y o. )xx

World's Worst Thing to Say In A Bathroom Stall by Rabid_Weasle 2-24-04

Wow, that pizza tasted better the second time around!

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Poop.

World's Worst Thing to Say In A Bathroom Stall by Rabid_Weasle 2-24-04

Weeeeeeee!

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Poop.

Ok, judging this one was tough. Umfumdisi had absolutely the best doctor entries. Terminal hangnails? Ha! ivytheplant THE hands-down best bathroom stall entries. And Rabid_Weasle deserves some credit, too. The 'Wheeeeeee!' in the bathroom stall was just too funny.

So, the winner has to be umfumtheplant, for these two:

WW7: Doctor, Doctor by umfumdisi 2-18-04

Terminal hangnails? I ain't never washed my butt. No, you "have not ever" washed your butt. I don't think you went deep enough. Try again.

WW#7: Try These In Wal-Mart by ivytheplant 2-18-04

1. Why isn't it dead yet? 2. Man, fitting 20 kilos of heroin up my ass isn't as easy as it looked in the manual. 3. TOBOR BORED!!

ivytheplant and umfumdisi are the clear winners here, and they work well together. Now it is up to them to collaborate and come up with a new World's Worst together.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

ivydisi works too :)

We will confer and unleash upon this site the finest "World's Worst" Contest evar!

Now to find her ladyship...

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years