"BAD DOG" starring Dog On Ball and Woofy by biped 3-31-04

HEE HAW!!! ME DOG ON BALL!!! What the f -- DOG ON BALL, THAT'S ME!!! NOW KISS MY BUTT, SHITFACE!!! "Dog on ball"? Why, I never -- HEE HAW!!! ME GET CHAINSAW AND KILL YOU WITH IT!!! NOW, SHUT UP!!! Wha -- he just told me to "shut up." What a bad dog.

Here's my latest foray into utter greatness, for which the entire world will sag to its bony knees in awe and beg me for the privelege of allowing it to worship me for all eternity. Just read it and then go read my other new ones, and while you're at it you might as well read all the old ones again since they're so great compared to yours. Unless you're too stupid to figure out how to do that, of course.

If you choose to dispute the fact that my comics are the greatest comics in the entire universe, and that a single one of them is worth infinitely more than every human life on this planet put together, then your negative comments will be driven only by your jealosy and your overwhelming, soul-crushing sense of total inadequacy in comparison to my utter greatness.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

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Here's my latest foray into utter greatness, for which the entire world will sag to its bony knees in awe and beg me for the privelege of allowing it to worship me for all eternity. Just read it and then go read my other new ones, and while you're at it you might as well read all the old ones again since they're so great compared to yours. Unless you're too stupid to figure out how to do that, of course.

If you choose to dispute the fact that my comics are the greatest comics in the entire universe, and that a single one of them is worth infinitely more than every human life on this planet put together, then your negative comments will be driven only by your jealosy and your overwhelming, soul-crushing sense of total inadequacy in comparison to my utter greatness.

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I get it, April Fool's right?

Your comic was pretty dull. In my opinion, the title to your comic was an automatic -25 points. I felt confused about the whole comic, and when I came to the end, I found out there wasn't even a punchline. Sorry try again.

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Woofy is sexy. But your comics aren't.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Thank you. It is immensely gratifying to see that my goal of making all of my comics completely devoid of sexiness, with the sole exception of the Woofy character, has been a total success.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Thank you. It is immensely gratifying to see that my goal of making all of my comics completely devoid of sexiness, with the sole exception of the Woofy character, has been a total success.

Don't you go getting a sexier-than-thou attitude on us. >_<

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Here's my latest foray into utter greatness, for which the entire world will sag to its bony knees in awe and beg me for the privelege of allowing it to worship me for all eternity. Just read it and then go read my other new ones, and while you're at it you might as well read all the old ones again since they're so great compared to yours. Unless you're too stupid to figure out how to do that, of course.

If you choose to dispute the fact that my comics are the greatest comics in the entire universe, and that a single one of them is worth infinitely more than every human life on this planet put together, then your negative comments will be driven only by your jealosy and your overwhelming, soul-crushing sense of total inadequacy in comparison to my utter greatness.

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You've been reading Microsoft's License agreament lately havent you? Just replaced the word 'software' by the word 'comics'.
The sad part is that the text was 10x funnier than the strip.

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Biped, I am not sure I like your comics, but you yourself are a funny motherfucker.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I found your comment so semi-flattering that I immediately created a comic with you in it.

CAPTAIN CHIP MEETS PROFESSOR FOOTHEAD by biped 4-01-04

Starring Captain Chip as "Himself" and MikeyG as "Professor Foothead" Hello, there! I'm Captain Chip! What's your name? I have feet where my ears should be -- I cannot hear the things I see -- and thus your words are naught to me -- and vainly are they spoke by thee. Well, I'll be! That's the darndest thing I've heard all day! I see you speak, but hear I can't -- so useless is your silent rant -- a friendly fellow you, I'll grant -- my silly litte sycophant. Ha-ha, you're funny! Too bad you smell like a dead skunk! DEAD SKUNK?!! WHY YOU LITTLE -- I mean, hear you I can't --

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Now THAT one I liked. I have a weakness for well-done rhyming.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

that last one wasnt bad.

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PRAISE ME! I! AM THE RULER... OF THE UNI- aw damn a dog crapped on my shoe.

Thanks! That makes me feel really great! Which is unsurprising, of course, considering the fact that I am really great.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

biped, just keep inserting the sarcasm and humor you exibit in your posts into your comics, and you'll be kick-ass in no time.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I would, but since my comics are already so much better than everyone else's, I see no need to rub it in by making them even greater.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

MY FESTERING RESENTMENT UNLEASHED, PART TWO by biped by biped 4-02-04

I found the following negative comment about me on my info page. I have chosen Goo-Goo and Dog On Ball to dramatize my response. (quote) "I'll rate you good when you kiss up to me -MikeyG" (unquote) HI, GOO-GOO!!! BEEP-BEEP!!! ME DOG ON BALL!!! No, Dog On Ball -- I'm supposed to be "MikeyG" in this story, and you're supposed to be "biped." OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK, ME BIPED!!! GRRRR!!! BEEP-BEEP!!! Okay -- and now you're supposed to respond to the negative comment. What do you think that "biped" would say? BIPED SAY, "HEE HAW!!! ME GET CHAINSAW AND KILL YOU WITH IT!!! BOO-BOO POODLY-DOO!!! WOOF, WOOF!!!"

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

If every poster on the boards has to have a catchphrase associated with them, and Biped is making a play for his to be "Ill get my Chainsaw and Kill you with it" , then i genuinely fear for the future of "Teh Funneh" on this forum.

It would be more appropriate as

"Ill get my chainsaw and kill the comedy"

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

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If every poster on the boards has to have a catchphrase associated with them, and Biped is making a play for his to be "Ill get my Chainsaw and Kill you with it" , then i genuinely fear for the future of "Teh Funneh" on this forum.

It would be more appropriate as

"Ill get my chainsaw and kill the comedy"

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"DOG ON BALL" BLOOPERS by biped 4-02-04

One HEE HAW!!! ME DOG ON BILL!!! Oh, fuck... "Bill"? Who's Bill? LOL!!! Two No, Dog On Ball -- in this story, I'm supposed to be -- BEEP-BEEP!!! GRRR!!! BOO-BOO POODLY -- oh, I'm sorry, Linda -- I stepped on your fucking line again... Three HEE HAW!!! ME GET CHAINSAW AND...um...and...shit, your fucking tits keep distracting me! ***GASP***!!! I FEEL VIOLATED!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

This comic is dedicated to roller-skating circus donkeys.

HUNGRY CHRISTMAS ICONS VS. A BUNNY RABBIT IN A SPACESHIP by biped 4-03-04

Imagine a bouncy little tune...the bunny rabbit's voice is world-weary...the hungry Christmas icons sound perversely jovial... I'm a nice rabbit, and I don't know why I think I'll shove an icepick in your eye! I don't know why, I have to die Toss ya in the skillet, and yodel while ya fry! Pop Tarts, poodle poop, puppies in a pie Mmm-boy! Yummy-yum! My, oh, my!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

For all of you who fell madly in love with Dog On Ball and Woofy in their first co-starring adventure, here is another one for you to deeply cherish for the rest of your lives.

"JOLLY PRETEND DAY" starring Dog On Ball and Woofy by biped 4-08-04

GRRR!!! ME LEADER OF HELL'S ANGELS!!! ME WRECK YOUR CAR AND MAKE YOU KISS MY BUTT!!! BEEP-BEEP!!! Oh, joy...it's Dog On Ball again... WOOF-WOOF!!! ME HUMP YOUR WIFE'S LEG AND PEE-PEE ON YOUR LUGGAGE!!! AND BITE YOU!!! BOING-BOING!!! I guess next he'll be pretending he's Charles Manson... RISE RISE RISE!!! HELTER SKELTER!!! ME JUST MIRROR OF SOCIETY, BUTTFACE!!! HEE-HAW!!! ME GET CHAINSAW --- ...and kill me with it, yeah...figured he'd work that in somewhere...

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

what's mine?

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Legalize Love!

what's mine?

"Horses can't get any deader unless I'm the one beatin' 'em."

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

LATE NIGHT with DOG ON BALL by biped 4-05-04

Monologue And now...HEEEERE'S...DOG ON BALL!!! HEE HAW!!! ME JUST FLY IN FROM VEGAS!!! BOY, ME ARMS TIRED!!! BEEP-BEEP!!! First guest -- Ridley Scott Well, Dog On Ball...I consider my latest directorial effort to be a distinct stylistic departure from -- MEOW!!! ME LIKE HOPALONG CASSIDY MOVIES!!! WHO AM YOU, BUTTFACE? GRRRR!!! Second guest -- actor Billy Zane ...so, right after Jim Cameron yelled "cut", I said to Kate Winslet, "Kate" -- HEE HAW!!! ME GET CHAINSAW AND KILL YOU WITH IT!!! VROOM-VROOM!!! ME RACE CAR!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Ignorance is bliss.