Hello. Here are some of my thoughts about Vin Diesel.

I have noticed that Vin Diesel has a human body. He is anatomically similar to most, if not all, human beings, in that his body functions in the same way that most human bodies do.

Vin Diesel has a head. Like most humans, his head is on the end of his neck. Human evolution seems to favor this location for the head.

Vin Diesel does not use barking as a means of communication, as dogs and seals do. I have noticed that he uses a form of human language instead -- specifically, English. He could probably simulate barking, but it is unlikely that he would be able to communicate with dogs or seals in this way, or at least not in any discernible detail.

Vin Diesel portrays fictional characters in movies. Someday, perhaps, he will portray actual historical figures, such as Benjamin Franklin or Millard Fillmore. It would be interesting to see a movie about Millard Fillmore that was advertised with the line, "Vin Diesel IS Millard Fillmore."

Vin Diesel cannot lift an adult horse over his head. If you have a photo of him doing so, it has probably been manipulated in some way.

Vin Diesel has never hosted "Masterpiece Theater" on PBS. If he ever did host this show, many television critics would probably have a knee-jerk reaction such as this: "Vin Diesel as host of 'Masterpiece Theater'? What an inappropriate choice for PBS to have made."

If they ever make a movie about the life of Vin Diesel, I do not think that Vin Diesel would be a good choice for the title role. I think that it would be more interesting to cast someone like Jessica Simpson or Barry White as Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel himself could portray his mother, Mrs. Diesel. This would be more likely to garner him a major acting award.
If you were one of Vin Diesel's scalp hairs, it would be a hollow and meaningless existence. Every time you tried to grow past his scalp-line, he would simply shave you off. Then you would just sit around waiting to try again, knowing that when you did, he would shave you off again. What if his scalp hairs gave up and stopped trying to emerge from his head? They would probably build up around his skull until his head began to expand. Then one day the pressure might cause an explosive blast of hair from both of his ears, causing him to sport dual ear-Afros.

Thank you for allowing me to voice my thoughts about Vin Diesel.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

One thing...why the hell are you ruminating on Vin Diesel?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I agree with almost all of that post, except for the bit about Barry White.

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"In a thousand years there will be no men and women just wankers and that's fine by me."

quote:

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One thing...why the hell are you ruminating on Vin Diesel?

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I do think that having Barry White play Vin Diesel would be rather difficult unless Vin Diesel takes a dramatic new direction in his life and starts appearing in movies as an 8ft casket weighing around 600lbs.

Actually, the casket is probably less wooden than Mr Diesel.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

My cat fell off the TV, and I was momentarily distracted.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Things More Entertaining Than xXx by Rabid_Weasle 4-15-03

Coming up! Vin Disel in xXx! You were right, it is more entertaining!

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Poop.

"xXx" not entertaining? come on, i laughed my ass off at that movie! i nearly hyperventilated when vin, on his dirt bike, jumped from an inexplicably placed ramp, over a ridiculously tall barn, just as it exploded for no reason whatsoever. i thought briefly about buying the DVD just so i could rewatch all the rigoddamnstupid stunts. easily the most unintentionally hilarious movie i have ever encountered (while not watching MST3K, that is).

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

There was an inexplicably-placed ramp in front of the barbed-wire fence, too, and an inexplicably-large gap between the barbed wire that was big enough for him and his motorcycle to fly through. Man, that was so fucking cool.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I did too, but mostly because of that horrible pimp coat he was wearing.

I'm fond of him. Mainly because of his...personality...yeah. That's it...no fantasizing here. No sirree.

That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. And that's hard to top since I spent most of the day watching M*A*S*H and responding to the Passion thread in FGH.

x_x; You gotta be kidding me. He goes on my celebrity "Yuck" list...on an even lower scale than Leonardo di Crappio.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Screw funniest thing all day, that's the funniest thing I've heard all year. I laughed so hard I choked on an ice cube in my soda. It hurt. The pain is worth it, however.

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Legalize Love!

Hey, do I make comments when people gush over *gag* Russell Crowe, *snarl* Affleck/Damon, *ewww* Viggo Mortensen, *shudder* any cast member of Friends, *yawn* Val Kilmer, or *racks brain* that guy from the Mummy movies...Brendan something. Or David Boreanaz.

Actually Diesel is the only real deviation in my type. It probably has something to do with Pitch Black and The Iron Giant. Especially Pitch Black...

Ahem...

Besides...how the hell can anyone rate him LOWER than Leo? I mean, ew. He looks like he's twelve.

Pitch Black rocked. Everything else Vinny Deez did sucks ass.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I think "The Fast and the Furious" was good in a cheesey way - not good cinematography, but good for a laugh.

In the future, the French will adore the comedy of Vin Diesel.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Hey, do I make comments when people gush over *gag* Russell Crowe, *snarl* Affleck/Damon, *ewww* Viggo Mortensen, *shudder* any cast member of Friends, *yawn* Val Kilmer, or *racks brain* that guy from the Mummy movies...Brendan something. Or David Boreanaz.

Actually Diesel is the only real deviation in my type. It probably has something to do with Pitch Black and The Iron Giant. Especially Pitch Black...

Ahem...

Besides...how the hell can anyone rate him LOWER than Leo? I mean, ew. He looks like he's twelve.

True... *erases and then rewrites*

I myself go for the geeky types... The geekier the better...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

He's all yours, Noonie....

Oh, this guy also wants your digits:

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I have two...ahem...favorites. Very high on the list. At the top actually (if only the top...).

Actually more of a fictional character. William Petersen's character on CSI. Actually the actor himself is also hot and drool-worthy. Like anyone didn't know that from the comics...it's that socially inept geek in him that gets me every time. Yummy. And so very very sexy...

Now where is that ricer...

Oh yeah, to keep on topic...ever see the commentary of Pitch Black? It's great. Especially the part where he really rotated his shoulders and shocked the crew who said "dude, special effects!"

So where were all you geek-loving women when I was lonely and dateless? ;)

On the topic of hot guys, if Wesley Wyndham Pryce were not just a character on Angel, he'd be the only guy I'd do...

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I has a flavor!

Probably back when I had a steady fuck buddy, I mean, boyfriend.

So where are all the geeks for us lonely and dateless geek-loving women, eh?

Amen. Though not back when he was Buffy's Watcher cause that was just painful to watch. When he first showed up in Angel, he was getting there. After that whole stealing baby Connor thing...booyeah! Hot mama! A sexy beast AND can speak demon languages!

So where are all the geeks for us lonely and dateless geek-loving women, eh?

At home, behind a computer screen, not meeting anybody or interacting beyond text on a screen?

I'm afraid you'll have to stage house-to-house raids.

Start with mine.

Stop saying anything good about Vin Disel or anything he has been in!!

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Poop.

x_x; very funny Mikey.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.