Here is a sweetly funny new series that I have created to amuse and stimulate young imaginations much as those cartoons about train engines and airplanes with big faces on them do. If you have children of your own, or younger brothers, sisters, or other relatives, you might want to sit and read these comics with them and enjoy them together. If not, then certainly your own "inner child" will be thrilled when you experience these gentle, mildly educational tales of mischief and mirth.

JOEY AND JEFF AND JEFF'S MOM!!! IN "THE NEW VIDEO GAMES"!!! by biped 4-15-04

JOEY GOES OVER TO JEFF'S HOUSE TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES WITH JEFF!!! HI, MRS. GREEN!!! I CAME OVER TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES WITH JEFF!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! I'M PLANTING DAFFODILS, JOEY!!! JEFF IS PLAYING QUIETLY IN HIS ROOM!!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO RIGHT IN!!! HI, JEFF!!! CAN WE PLAY NINTENDO OR X-BOX OR PLAYSTATION!!! I HEARD YOUR MOM JUST BOUGHT YOU SOME REALLY COOL VIDEO GAMES!!! NO, WE CAN'T, JOEY!!! I JUST SMASHED ALL OF MY VIDEO GAME CONSOLES WITH MY DAD'S BRAND NEW SLEDGEHAMMER!!! AND ALL OF THE VIDEO GAMES, TOO!!! OH, YOU DID!!! THEN WHY DON'T WE WATCH TELEVISION OR LISTEN TO CD'S!!! OR COOK SOME PIZZA SNACKS IN THE MICROWAVE!!! NO!!! I SMASHED ALL OF THOSE THINGS, TOO!!! BUT IF YOU'D LIKE, YOU CAN HELP ME FEED MY SEA MONKEYS INSTEAD!!!

JOEY!!! AND MR. WILSON!!! IN "THE T-BONE STEAKS"!!! by biped 4-15-04

JOEY GOES OVER TO MR. WILSON'S HOUSE TO VISIT MR WILSON!!! WHAT'S THE MATTER, MR. WILSON!!! YOU LOOK REALLY UPSET!!! I AM MAD AS HELL AT THE T-BONE STEAKS MY WIFE JUST BOUGHT!!! GRRRR!!! DID'JA HEAR WHAT HAPPENED, JEFF!!! MR. WILSON'S WIFE BOUGHT SOME T-BONE STEAKS, AND MR. WILSON IS HOPPING MAD AT 'EM!!! I'M NOT JEFF, I'M HIS MOM!!! GO ASK MR. WILSON WHY HE'S SO MAD AT THE T-BONE STEAKS, JOEY!!! I'M REALLY, REALLY CURIOUS!!! GEE, MR. WILSON!!! WHY ARE YOU SO MAD AT THOSE T-BONE STEAKS THAT MRS. WILSON JUST BOUGHT!!! OH, I'M NOT MAD AT THEM ANYMORE, JOEY!!! WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOR SUPPER!!! WE'RE HAVING T-BONE STEAKS!!!

JOEY AND MRS. WALDMAN!!! IN "THE BOOK REPORT"!!! by biped 4-15-04

JOEY GOES TO THE LIBRARY TO CHECK OUT A BOOK TO DO A BOOK REPORT ON!!! HI, MRS. WALDMAN!!! I NEED TO GET A BOOK TO READ FOR MY BOOK REPORT!!! WE DON'T HAVE ANY BOOKS HERE, JOEY!!! THIS IS A LIBRARY!!! SO THEN MRS. WALDMAN TOLD ME THAT THE LIBRARY DIDN'T HAVE ANY BOOKS, MOM!!! SHE DID!!! I THINK I SHOULD GO AND ASK HER WHY SHE TOLD YOU THAT!!! MRS. WALDMAN!!! WHY DID YOU TELL JOEY THAT THERE AREN'T ANY BOOKS IN THE LIBRARY!!! BECAUSE WHEN HE SAID "BOOKS", I THOUGHT HE SAID "SNOWCONE MACHINES"!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I think you just broke my brain.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

JOEY AND MR. WILSON!!! IN "THE T-BONE STEAKS"!!! was pretty funny. Can't wait to read some more.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Very "Terrance and Philip" sorta random...

Funny in a 'I think I may just have pierced my liver with a javelin' kind of way.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

o_o

Have you been eating paintchips again?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

quote:

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o_o

Have you been eating paintchips again?

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quote:

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o_o

Have you been eating paintchips again?

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No, I like to drink it right out of the can.

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quote:

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Do you prefer the bright colors or the subtle shades?

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^-^

Personally, I like purple. Royal purple, not violet purple. Its very nice.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I like it too, but it tends to make me a bit gassy.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

o_o Usually its spinach green that does that tho...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

biped, paint? I thought you just like to suck tailpipes.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

My motto is: if it's stupid, do it.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

JOEY AND JEFF!!! IN "THE MONSTER MOVIE"!!! by biped 4-18-04

JOEY AND JEFF GO TO THE MOVIES ON SATURDAY TO SEE A MONSTER MOVIE!!! THIS MOVIE SURE IS SCARY, JEFF!!! I THINK THAT MONSTER'S ABOUT TO KILL THOSE ARMY GUYS!!! HE JUST KILLED ALL OF THE ARMY GUYS!!! WOW!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW HE WAS GOING TO DO THAT, JOEY!!! I SURE WAS SCARED, MOM!!! WHAT IF THERE REALLY WERE MONSTERS!!! THEY MIGHT COME AFTER US!!! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES, JOEY!!! YOU SHOULD SEE A DIFFERENT KIND OF MOVIE NEXT TIME!!! NO!!! MEG RYAN IS ABOUT TO GET OFF THE SUBWAY WITHOUT MEETING TOM HANKS FIRST!!! I'M SCARED, JEFF!!! TURN AROUND, MEG!!! LOOK FOR THE GUY WITH THE CUTE LITTLE BOY WHO NEEDS A NEW MOM!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

*offers biped a can of varnish*

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

biped, what the fuck is wrong with you? Well, at least they were funny as hell.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

See above posts about drinking paint.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

MONSTER MOVIE: Funnier than Spankling's last orgy.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Mmm...varnish. The dessert wine of paints.

Spankling and MikeyG: thank you for your generous comments.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Its a good year too... 1997... Its been aging in the cool dark of the closet for 7 years.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

o_o Usually its spinach green that does that tho...

When I was a small child I ate all of Noonie's paints except for the green one.

truth be told, biped, you're the n00b of the month.

Do I have to pose for naked pictures?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Do I have to pose for naked pictures?

I hope not.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.