Right, I'll keep this short.

Do whatever you want with the first two panels, but keep the last panel of the strip below the same*

BTC 3 by jes_lawson 5-03-04

Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

Co-judges for this one will be InnerSinner and a special mystery judge**

It's now about 00:53 Tuesday, British Summer Time. Judging will be Sunday on or slightly before 3pm British Summer Time***

Now, grab your respective infinite numbers of monkeys, and show me what they can do.

* - You can alter it slightly, but the alteration will need to be head-poppingly funny/clever for me to consider it.
** - No, I haven't decided who it'll be yet.
*** - Times may be subject to change.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

BTC 3: STUPID by biped 5-03-04

Uh-oh...we've wandered into gang territory! I'm scared! Relax, fraidy cat. Just act like a tough guy and they'll never know the difference. Act tough? How? Oh, if they give us some shit, just say something like: "Say, bitch...we're in the market for a couple of sloppy blowjobs. Is your mom on duty, or is this your shift?" Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

BTC-3 that lizard is a stupid little weiner by xxausrottenxx 5-03-04

..all you have to do is run across the street, the car wrecks, we collect the insurance but dont i look silly in this squirrel suit? oh you look great, they'll never know the difference, come on, dont be a pussy about it Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

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xx( o Y o. )xx

On the other hand, maybe a few rolls won't hurt by kaufman 5-03-04

April 18, 1955, Princeton, NJ I guess you realize this is your last day on earth; you'll be reaching the hospital in just under 10 minutes. Yes, God, I understand. So what do you want of me? Science has advanced so quickly, mortal men will soon know all of my secrets. Yet, it is my nature to remain a mystery. What should I do? Just roll a few six-sided dice, and alter the gravitational constant in a few local areas accordingly. They'll never know the difference. Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

I guess I wanted to take this contest literally.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

BTC 3: Mr. Sneaky Pants by AtheistDiary 5-03-04

I will NEVER try anal sex EVER AGAIN! If you even THINK about touching me down there in ANY WAY I swear to christ I'll knock you in the fuckin' chops! She's cut me off from anal sex forever. What should I do? Whatcha gotta do is get 'er reeeeeeal drunk. Then when ya got 'er bent over and doin' da doggie, take yer man meat out and accidently slip it in 'er pooper. She'll never know the difference! Shortly... "She'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

BTC #3: What a tangled web by fzh 5-03-04

Ready? Yep. Are you sure about this whole crossdressing thing? Sure! It's a great way to get guys! They'll never know the difference! Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

BTC 3: OBSTACLE CORPSE by biped 5-03-04

Uh-oh! I was playing with this gun I found in my dad's closet, and I accidentally blew my little brother's head off. So? "So"? My parents said the next time I killed one of my siblings, they'd break my legs! Aah, just rig up his corpse like a puppet and make him dance around every once in a while. They'll never know the difference. Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

BTC 3: Bond, James Bond by EvilTwin 5-04-04

Bond, James Bond. I need to get into that building there, but I need a disguise. Any ideas, Q? You have to act like the enemy. Try this kit. Two minutes later... Don't ya think I look kinda suspicious? Don't worry, they'll never know the difference! Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

BTC3: Don't Screw With Teachers and their Coffee by UnknownEric 5-04-04

We've replaced the fresh-brewed coffee in the teachers' lounge with Folgers Crystals. Let's see how they react. God, another day dealing with these spoiled stupid children. If I don't have my coffee, I think I'll go postal. That's right! This coffee better be good or I'm going to hurt somebody! "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

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I has a flavor!

BTC 3!!! JOEY AND JEFF!!! IN "THE PETTING ZOO"!!! by biped 5-04-04

JOEY AND JEFF'S TEACHER HAS TAKEN THEM ON A FIELD TRIP TO THE ZOO!!! THIS SURE IS A GREAT ZOO, HUH JEFF!!! I JUST WISH IT WAS A PETTING ZOO SO WE COULD PET THE ANIMALS!!! HEY JOEY, I HAVE A SWELL IDEA!!! LET'S SNEAK INTO THIS CAGE AND PET THE GORILLAS!!! BUT WOULDN'T IT BE DANGEROUS TO PET THE GORILLAS, JEFF!!! WE MIGHT GET BEAT UP OR SOMETHING!!! NO!!! WE'LL JUST EAT BANANAS AND ACT LIKE GORILLAS AND STUFF!!! THEY'LL NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!!! "THEY'LL NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!!!" GREAT PLAN, EINSTEIN!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

BTC 3: An Almost True Story by possums 5-04-04

I don't know... Come on, doll. All you have to do is swallow these 83 condoms full of cocaine and then we'll pass customs. Are you sure? Don't they have x-rays? They'll never tell the difference... they'll just think you have 83 extra kidneys! Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

Well, I only changed the background, because an Ambulance doesn't work as well as a cop car.

BTC 3 by KamikazeBob 5-04-04

This is a great idea giving the students an impossible problem to teach them how everything doesn't work out as we want it to. Einstein, you are one smart devil. Ugh I can't take this anymore. No matter what I do there isn't a difference! Well, one student's going nuts already. He'll end up at the therapist. At least they won't know the difference! I JUST CAN'T TAKE THIS PROBLEM ANYMORE! I'M GOING TO GO INSANE! AAAHHH! Wait... of course, there's no difference! HAHA! I found the answer! I FOUND THE ANSWER! "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

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Win video games along with systems and accessories just by signing up! http://readysetgamer.com/register.asp?6144=92071

BTC 3: You'll Grab Your Crotch in Pain by possums 5-04-04

Do you really think this hat is going to get me in? Look, man. I know the sign says, "No Dinos," but that hat covers it all! They'll never know the difference! Wait a minute... this is a gay bar! You should try the glory hole out! Today is "Pirhana Day!" Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

BTC 3: Bush-Shit! by possums 5-04-04

I dunno, Dick... do you really think I should just say what's on my mind? Sure, it'll be fine. Most of the people here are part of the radical right anyway, Mr. President. ...and those fuckin' spics should never cross the border, unless they want to garden my lawn and buy my crack! Oh, and Condeleeza is this administration's Monica Lewinsky! Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

BTC3: Ice cream truck by valuedan 5-04-04

Ice cream truck! Ice cream truck! Wait, that's no ice cream truck! There's two large, sweaty, naked men inside, holding ice cream cones! But I want some ice cream! Well, they just started rubbing their nipples with the ice cream, so you'd better go get it before it's all gone! Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

FTC3: Genius by maddog00 5-05-04

Al! Al! You gotta help me. E equals MC...hmm...what the hell do you want. We have to hurry. They want that theory of relativity or else. Give it to me. Well, I'm not done yet. Just tell them its 13. They'll never know the difference. Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

FTC3: PS2 by maddog00 5-05-04

Shit! The mob's lookin' for their drug money...and we spent it on video games! Look, dude, just go color photocopy some money. They'll never know the difference. You sure? I mean... Hey, ass, c'mon now. I'm busy playing Britney's Dance Beat. Go do it. Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

BTC 3: A 3 panel preview of The Adventures of Flying Man by shark_energy 5-06-04

Mindy is being held in the penthouse of the old hospital. Now that Colonel Crab has clipped my wings, I do not have the ability to get in there and save her. This is terrible news Flying Man! I need your help Einstein. I need...a plan! Let's see what props we can find in my secret cave. We'll find a way into that hospital somehow! Shortly... They'll never know the difference! Great plan, Einstein!

Aww jes I love you for naming me a cojudge. I feel special! *ed* I shall do-eth the job-eth.

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You're the right kind of sinner, to release my inner fantasy.

Judging extended by a few hours, you've got about 6 hours left from now.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

A Formulaic punchline what I give yez, but what you guys did with it was, without exception, crackingly funny.

Ones I liked were Unknown Eric's classroom skit, and kaufman and EvilTwin doing justice to taking the whole thing literally. shark_energy interpreted the situation like this:

BTC 3: A 3 panel preview of The Adventures of Flying Man by shark_energy 5-06-04

Mindy is being held in the penthouse of the old hospital. Now that Colonel Crab has clipped my wings, I do not have the ability to get in there and save her. This is terrible news Flying Man! I need your help Einstein. I need...a plan! Let's see what props we can find in my secret cave. We'll find a way into that hospital somehow! Shortly... They'll never know the difference! Great plan, Einstein!

Mystery Guest Judge BigEvilDan voted biped into second place for this one:

BTC 3: STUPID by biped 5-03-04

Uh-oh...we've wandered into gang territory! I'm scared! Relax, fraidy cat. Just act like a tough guy and they'll never know the difference. Act tough? How? Oh, if they give us some shit, just say something like: "Say, bitch...we're in the market for a couple of sloppy blowjobs. Is your mom on duty, or is this your shift?" Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

But teh WINNAR, for sheer surreality (it has robots and dinosaurs for NO REASON!), is possums for this one:

BTC 3: You'll Grab Your Crotch in Pain by possums 5-04-04

Do you really think this hat is going to get me in? Look, man. I know the sign says, "No Dinos," but that hat covers it all! They'll never know the difference! Wait a minute... this is a gay bar! You should try the glory hole out! Today is "Pirhana Day!" Shortly... "They'll never know the difference!" Great plan, Einstein!

Congrats, possums, do us proud in BTC #4.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Holy friggin' christ! This is amazing.

I really had no idea that I had a chance of winning this one. jes_lawson, I really want to thank you for this, as well as all the judges. BTC 4 will be up as soon as I get a good template!

Damn British time and me not knowing what it was. I would have voted the same way as BigEvilDan thou and went with Biped.

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You're the right kind of sinner, to release my inner fantasy.

Thanks, but I have to agree, possums' entry was much wackier.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Well, maybe possums could make biped a judge for BTC #4?

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

No thanks, I'd rather just be a contestant in the next one, and have already posted the first incredible comic in what will surely be a series of the most astoundingly great comics in the history of stripcreator.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.