Our dear friend boorite...

...has no pants. In order to get him some pants, or at least to help support his pantsless lifestyle, he will need donations.

Money would be nice, but our beloved boorite can get by on comics. Please donate a comic about boorite not having pants to this thread for his sake. The comics can speculate on why he has no pants, his pantsless adventures, or the general pantslessness of our dear, dear boorite.

Please donate to the Pants Fund. It's his only hope.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

... in which MikeyG gives boorite some pants by kaufman 8-24-04

hhh hhh hhh hhh hhh hhh hhh hhh hhh hhh hhh hhh hhh hhh Cut that out already, you're drooling all over me.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Legacy of Tears by biped 8-24-04

You are under arrest for not wearing any pants. If you arrest me, I'll...I'll cry. No, don't cry. Please don't cry. *sniff* I'll *sob* try *choke* b-but *whimper* ...so I put on my patented cry-face, and broke his heart. It's a good thing we inherited Dad's sure-fire cry-face.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Some Theories On Why Boorite Lacks Basic Pantage. by UnknownEric 8-24-04

The Commercial Audition Theory Your vacuum cleaner ate my pants. There was nuthin' I could do... I'm sorry, we decided to go with Dave Chappelle. The Fashion Forward Theory It's all the rage in Paris. Wow, I'm going to lose my pants too! The Painful Rash Theory You see what I got for my fie dollah? No refunds, no exchange.

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I has a flavor!

I made this one a while ago. I think it fits.

THE PANTS NABBER by possums 4-03-04

GIVE ME BACK MY PANTS, YOU BASTARD!!!

3 more reasons why Boorite doesn't wear pants to work by mmyers 11-18-03

The label on them says "Remove promptly." It means from the washing machine. I didn't want them to get wrinkled. They stiffle me. _____________ Um, sure. Creatively, you mean?

What's weird about this comic is that it has the words "More reasons" in the title, but I never made a comic titled "Reasons why...". Also, I made it in 2003. I'm a prophet, dammit.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Pants Theory by MikeyG 8-24-04

I'd like to talk to you about something, Mr. Boorite. Huh? Make it quick, son, I'm meditating. With a beer in your hand? Anyway, what happened to your pants? They were shot off in the war, son. But can't you just....buy a new pair? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Boorite in "Wet 'n' Wild" by biped 8-24-04

What happened? Did you wet your pants again? Nope. And this way, I'll NEVER wet my pants again. Hey, how come you ain't wearin' any pants, sugar? I... I wanted the sight of my scantily-clad body to arouse you sexually. So... you're having sex with Sheila tonight? Yeah. Boy, I sure hope I don't wet the bed.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Lack of Pants by Rabid_Weasle 8-24-04

Hey boo, I've been meaning to ask you for a while... but... what's with the lack of pants? What do you mean...? Oh for crying out loud! How long have I been like this? Why didn't you assholes say anything?

Pants Physics by Rabid_Weasle 8-24-04

So then I says, "Them pants ain't gonna put themselves back on" Haha! What the fuck are you talking about?

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Poop.

Doggy Rape by NGrassi22 8-24-04

Where am I...Man, I had to many beers last night... Hey...where are my pants? ...fuck...

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It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

Pants Wars Episode One: The Pantom Menace by ivytheplant 8-24-04

The pants are growing in number. We need to fight. I'll look for a champion or something. I have won the race, and all without pants! I will never wear pants again! You are indeed The One. I'm off to save the world! Without pants! Wish me luck, Pantscess! Whatever, kid.

Pants Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Pants by ivytheplant 8-24-04

So, what's up kemosabe? There's a massive army of pants being created. This could be bad. Are you going to stand there or help us fight? My god, she's hot! We can never be together, as I am a Pantsless Knight and can never know love. Yeah...

Pants Wars Episode Three: Revenge of the Pants by ivytheplant 8-24-04

So I'm evil now. Uhoh. So I'm evil now. I'm pregnant. With what? Nevermind...

Pants Wars Episode Four: A New Toga by ivytheplant 8-24-04

Who the hell are you? I'm here to teach you the ways of the...oh hell. Just come with me, kid. Hey hottie! I'm here to "rescue" you, if ya know what I mean! Whatever, twerp. Nyah nyah! We beat your ass! Fucking kids.

Pants Wars Episode Five: The Empire Pants Back by ivytheplant 8-24-04

Well this bites. My nuts are freezing off. Just wait til you have to crawl inside a camel. You've been betrayed and your best friend is frozen in pantsonite. You are so dead! By the way, I'm your dad and I just cut off your pants. You limey bastard.

[Click to view comic: 'Pants Wars Episode Six: Return of the Pantsi']

Some Theories On The Lack of Boorite Pants by ivytheplant 8-24-04

1. He traded them for the beer. Heya schweetie! Close the flap, homeboy. 2. He fell victim to a gang of international pant smuggling ring. I feel so free all of a sudden. Scr0e! 3. He really has no pants. I saved so much money since I quit smoking. That's nothing...

More Theories On The Lack of Boorite Pants by ivytheplant 8-24-04

1. He drank away his pants money. I (hic) need to (hic) use the (hic) fac(hic)ilities. I think it's too late. 2. Jedi mind tricks. These aren't the pants you're looking for. Righto. Not the pants I'm looking for. 3. They've all been filed. Abercrombie through Zoot! It's perfect!

Blasted Thieves by pita 3-17-02

Can I help ye, laddie? Somebody stole me car! Well, where was it last time ye saw it? 'Twas at the end of me keys! Uh, are ye aware yer exposin' yerself, son? Yer hangin' out all over the place! Oh, Lawd, they've got me girl, too!

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

Theories on Pantslessness by MikeyG 8-25-04

Had to eat his pants to survive. I'm trapped in a cave with nothing to eat but my pants! Lost his pants in a bet I'll bet you my pants I won't put Rufies in your drink and make sweaty buttlove to your unconscious ass! You're on! Is allergic to pants. If I cover my knees, my vas deferens twitches spasmodically.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Airport security by boorite 8-25-04

I've put my pants on the conveyor belt. Now what? We have detected traces of household solvents that can be used in bomb-making. That's stain remover! I tend to stain my pants. Sorry, we have to keep your pants for further analysis. Is there a draft in here? Please be seated, sir. We are making an emergency landing in Lake Michigan.

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What others say about boorite!

Ivy inspired me. In the name of equal time ... (and a tip of the hat to the original Bugle Boy gag) ...

Pants Trek: The Motion Picture by kaufman 8-25-04

We've detected a probe coming toward earth called PNTS. I want you to look at it. Right-O There it is, Captain, it looks like a pair of pants. Oh my god, Uhura, those must be the pants I shot into space 30 years ago. I must destroy them. I'm going out there. Listen, PNTS, know why a golfer wears two pairs of pants? In case he makes a HOLE-IN-ONE! Hahahaha! Error. Error. Error. Error ...

PT2: The Wrath of Pants by kaufman 8-25-04

Jes, Mr. Chekov, I will put pants into your ear. I can tell zat is your fantasy. AIIIIIIEEEEEEEE! Carol, what have you been doing since you got into my pants? Nothing much, just creating worlds. Spock, get out of those pants. They're too big. They must be size 36,409. You could fit a town in there! At times the pants of the many are greater than the pants of the few, or the one.

PT3: The Search for Pants by kaufman 8-25-04

We found this baby. If we can get some pants on him, Spock may come back to life. What's the word, Bones? I'm sorry, captain. The cling-on spandex suffocated your son. Captain, your lack of pants is not logical. Hooray, he's back to normal!

PT4: Taking the Pants Home by kaufman 8-25-04

Don't you see, Scotty? We need to go back to 20th century earth because ther's a big sale on then at Pants Hut. Sooooo? Remember, we are supposed to blend in here. Don't worry about it ... Excuse me sir, we are looking for the pleated Bermudas. So long, and thanks for all the pants!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

ivytheplant,

The middle trilogy of your "Pants Wars" series was good, but you should've gotten someone else to write the first three.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Boorite in "School Daze" by biped 8-25-04

Umm, Boorite... where, pray tell, might your pants be today? My pants? Er... my dog ate them. Ah. And I suppose your homework met a similar fate as well? Uh, yes... my dog ate my homework, too. I'd just finished doing all of it, and -- RAAAAAR!!! OKAY, OKAY!!! I ATE MY PANTS!!! AND I DIDN'T DO MY HOMEWORK, EITHER!!! WAAAA-HAAAA!!! *SOB!!!*

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Boorite Finds Pants by niteowl 8-25-04

Your name is Pants, right? Correct! Say, that's weird...my name is Pants, you aren't wearing any pants... So, you wanna try me on for size? Shut up, you cunt. Ok.

The Crowd Gasps In Horror by niteowl 8-25-04

Ok, let's dispel some rumors here. I did not just lose my pants. I didn't eat them (though they are tasty), nor did they get stolen. I like not wearing pants! Is that so wrong? Yes. Who asked you to chime in, bitch? Hey, you called this meeting.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

More Pantsless Theories by MikeyG 8-25-04

His ass is a pants-eating black hole Only pants, though. Skirts stay on just fine. He feels it restricts his innate abilities. I am a flying boorite. He believes black people should not have to wear pants. I'm black.