This could or could not be funny.

Happy Birthday Mr Fly! (1) by mmyers 9-10-04

Hey, Mr Fly! Happy birthday! I'm getting stuff together for your birthday party this afternoon. Oh boy! And I'm also organizing your funeral for tonight. My...what the what?! Your life span, it's only a day so we're trying to get all of your important events in in one day. We thought it's how you would have wanted it. But--but--I haven't even had my barmitzvah yet.

Happy birthday, Mr Fly! (2) by mmyers 9-10-04

This is the best birthday party ever, Mr Fly. Now quick! Go lose your virginity! My virginity?? But I'm having fun at the party. Mr Fly, you only have a few hours left to live. You better start on that family right now. You're wife-to-be is buzzing around the bree wedge. Go say hi while I set up the wedding. Can't believe I'm going to be losing my virginity on my wedding night. Um, hello. My name is Mr Fly and I'd like to ask for your hand in-- Stick it in, quick! We're running out of time with all this foreplay.

Happy birthday, Mr Fly! (3) by mmyers 9-10-04

We are all gathered here today to join these two flies in holy matrimony... Hey rev, pick up the pace. My biological fly clock is ticking over here. Buzz-buzz-buzz, pronounce us man and wife and let's go. I thought I was Jewish. Where's the rabbi? I now pronounce you man and wife. Ooohh, I always vomit at weddings...and when I land on something.

Happy birthday, Mr Fly! (4) by mmyers 9-10-04

That was a beautiful wedding, Mr Fly. And I just heard your wife had her first larvae. But, we were just married 2 minutes ago. Time flies when you're a fly. Suppose you guys will be getting ready to retire in a few minutes. Maybe fly around that picture of Florida on the wall. But, I'm young! I've only been an adult for a few hours. Sure, we all feel like that, and it's that kind of attitude that will make your declining hours more bearable. Now that you mention it, I really would like to ride bikes and play frisbee like those old people in the Geritol commercials.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Happy Birthday, Mr Fly! (5) by mmyers 9-10-04

"For he's the jolly good flyyyy...which nobody can deny!" Happy retirement, Mr Fly! That was a very abridged version of that song. Hey, you don't have time for the regular version. It's time for you to move on and make wave for the young, up and coming flies. I'd like you to meet your replacement, Mr Fly. Mr Fly 2.   ?   Mr Fly, I just want to say that I've learned alot by watching you these last two minutes and I hope to continue the proud tradition of excellence that you've started. My god, you're barely a pupa. I feel so old.

Happy Birthday, Mr Fly! (fin) by mmyers 9-10-04

Mr Fly, what can be said about him? He was a fly who lived everyday like it was his last, because everyday was his last because he only lived one day. You will never be forgotten, Mr Fly, because every fly is like a beautiful snowflake, a snowflake that eats it's food and reguritates it back up and eats it again. Fair thee well, Mr Fly. May the next world be kinder to you than this one was. Mr Fly, RIP September 10, 2004-September 10, 2004

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Cool. And actually funny.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Those are an excellent source of teh funny.

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Poop.

I found it to be unbearably sad.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I'm glad I didn't see this before I started writing that series. Courtesy of Mr Kaufman.

CC 241: Drosophilove by kaufman 4-21-04

I have the pleasure of presenting to you the most tragic love story ever written - one so tragic, it makes Romeo and Juliet look like the Three Stooges. You're cute. Want to have dinner with me? Sure, let's do it tomorrow. Being mayflies as they were, they were both long dead before tomorrow came.

Just goes to show that anything you can do, Kaufman can do it a little bit better. Respect.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Forget Citizen Kane or Goodbye Mister Chips, this vomits all over them.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

mmyers is just as funny today as he was five minutes ago. Which is pretty fucking funny.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

This is my

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.