biped
Mr. Wonderful
Member Rated:
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| Wow, that sure smells good, John! And you say the new Shmopeil "Amaze-o Oven" will cook a 20-pound roast in half the time? | |
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| Thet's roit, Nan-ceh! Thet suh-tainly is wot oi sed! And not a bleedin' wurd of it true! | |
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| Huh? What do you mean, not true? | |
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| Sheer bollocks, the lot of it! But no worries, Nan-ceh! The cloth-eared gits who sit starin' at these fookin' infomercials will buy anythin' shiny! | |
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| Why, you're right! They ARE shiny! Hey, there's the "ding"! Roast is ready! | |
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| No it tisn't, Nan-ceh! But we'll pretend it tis, and then we'll "ooh an' ahh" aboot how juiceh and delicious it tis! Blimey, we'll make a fookin' killin'! | |
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| Our next amazing Shmopeil product is a foolproof remedy for the most hard-to-get-out stains! Right, John? | |
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| Thet's the claim, Nan-ceh! Of course, it tisn't anythin' of the sort! But we'll pretend it tis, won't weh? Fa shits 'n' giggles? | |
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| Why, this incredible new "Stain-A-Bolish" even gets out bloodstains, doesn't it, John? It's great for housewives! | |
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| Nan-ceh, who in the bleedin' 'ell do you know who's got poils of clothes wif fookin' bloodstains all over 'em? Think, Nan-ceh, think! | |
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| Uh...gosh...I don't know...uh...serial killers? | |
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| Thet's roit, Nan-ceh! We're marketin' this product ta serial killahs! That oughtta make ya Mum an' Dad proud, eh? | |
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| Well, now it's time to introduce -- the brand new Shmopeil "Vibe-O-Lux" Personal Vibrator! Why, it's just the thing for those tired, aching muscles! | |
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| Oi've got a tired achin' moosle ya can troi it oot on, Nan-ceh -- me big, throbbin' willie! | |
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| John! That's not what it's for! It's for massaging those tense, knotted-up back and neck muscles, and -- | |
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| Horse shite, Nan-ceh! This dandeh li'l item is perfect fer shovin' up yer quiverin' snatch an' groindin' away loik theh's no tomorra! Give 'er a go, eh? | |
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| Well...if you say so...ooh! That feels funny! | |
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| Deloightful! Now be a good lass an' shove 'er up me bunghole, eh, luv? Noice an' deep, up to the 'ilt, that's a dear! | |
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--- Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.
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