"Naked Came the Stripper" Chapter 1 by CHUBBY 12-13-04

When I awoke, my head felt like Barry Bonds had been using it for batting practice. My mouth was drier than a Steven Wright monologue in a Mormon church in the Dry Tortugas. I lit up a cigarette. I started coughing like Morton Downey, Jr. playing "Camille" at the Hollywood Bowl during a smog alert. Then I remembered I didn't smoke. I tried to remember last night. Oh, yeah. The Stripcreator's Ball. Everybody was there. Usually, on days like this, I have to do two things-- remember where I left my car, and return the one I took. But today I had other questions. Where am I? Who am I? Where are my pants?

"Naked Came the Stripper" Chapter 2 by Externalization 12-13-04

The Ball. I had left with someone I met there. A Stripcreator regular. But who? The sudden flashbacks attacking my mind kept distracting me. I tried to concentrate. I don't think these pants are mine, but I guess they'll have to do. A brief burst of violence... I'm running from a police siren...I've lost something important... a woman's voice trying to tell me something I need to know... The fresh cuts and scratches I started finding all over my body were too small to account for the amount of blood staining my hands and forearms. It had obviously belonged to someone else at one time. There's only one person who can help me figure this out. I'd better go see him.

"Naked Came the Stripper" Chapter 3 by pita 12-15-04

But the more I thought about going to see Brad, the more frightened and confused I became. Wait... was that Brad's voice I heard? Why did it sound so shrill and frantic? Canada was a helluva trip anyway, so I made myself a good Irish coffee and slowly started to remember bits and pieces of the SC ball... Brad WAS there! I remember him doing the Watusi with the punchbowl on his head! A smile crept up as I started to remember what Chubby and Externalization were doing... I have to write this stuff down, nobody's going to believe me! Are these stains on my hands from the wine punch?

'Naked Came the Stripper' Chapter 4 by little_kitty 12-16-04

The dreams that were swiftly coming into my head didn't seem real... There was a Scottish bloke there wearing some sort of a skirt... A bald man leering at anything in a skirt... It's a KILT Whatever you say... Some strange man walking around with a beer in one hand and... no pants?! My name is Boorite and I approve of this recollection.

"Naked Came the Stripper" Chapter 5 by niteowl 12-17-04

Then, like the flicking of a switch, memories of that night began to flood my mind. SC regulars, both young and old, getting "down", knowmsayin'? Watusi! Um...I see you, Brad. I remember it getting crazy around the time Little Kitty grabbed a hockey stick and started swinging it wildly, not unlike a psychopathic Tiger Woods on crack. WE WANT HOCKEY! WE WANT HOCKEY! Some guests didn't seem to mind the carnage though. Dude, look at all the blood! Man, this is almost as good as that GWAR concert when they killed EVERYONE in the audience except us!

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Oh yeah I totally love this site's users.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

"Naked Came The Stripper" Chapter 6 by umfumdisi 1-03-05

Well, the previous chapters had explained my injuries, my hangover, the bloody wine covering my upper body, and The Watusi, but there was still something missing...my pants! I always hang them over the back of my desk chair... Generous portions of my brains were still scrambled like eggs in hot butter or those free porn channels you get once in a while. I knew I had to backpacktrack through the empty caverns in my memory. If you ordered the mind-cavern-exploring donkey, I take cash only--upfront. I felt so confused--not unlike that guy in Memento or, at least, an unfortunate person who has just seen one of those commercials for Mentos. Still, I had press on--much like those fake fingernails. Yah, mule! I'm an ass, ass!

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

"Naked Came the Stripper" Chapter 7 by mmyers 1-04-05

The donkey and I went deeper and deeper into my subconscious like the wheels of a child's toy car in shag carpet, impossibly tangled and unable to be freed without the assistance of scissors. Watch your step over that simile. It's dense. Then someone called out a name. Was it my name? I didn't recognize him but he seemed to know me. He called out again. Hey Blue! Blue! Wait up! What's with the fancy get-up? I'm...searching for my memory...or rather memories. He raised an eyebrow like a garage door opening, smiled like a baby passing gas, and then spoke again. So you don't remember anything, huh? Well you can trust me, pal. I was your best friend, see? I can help you. Man, that'd be great. I could really use a friend right now. Plus, I'm running out of similes.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

"Naked Came the Stripper" Chapter 8 by BigFrank105 1-04-05

"Who was this guy?" I thought to myself. He claims to be my best friend, yet I haven't had any human contact since I started playing Everquest. Yeah, I really don't think I've ever seen you before... You dumbass! I'm your childhood imaginary friend! Of course! When I was but a wee lad I had no friends except my imaginary friend Trenchcoat Sam! I thought he had ran away because I was such a loser which made me slit my wrists on multiple occasions. Trenchcoat Sam! It's you! Where have you been all these years I've always been with you, you've just been repressing me with porn and hard liquor. Ironically, Sam had been the voice in my head that told me to buy that Penthouse and the bottle of Jim Beam. He had always been one for advice, but how could he help me find my pants? Uh, so how can you help me find my pants? Do not make haste, Blue! For we must be prepared if you wish to know the truth!

"Naked Came The Stripper" Chapter Nine by UnknownEric 1-06-05

It was then that the truth hit me like a brick thrown from the hand of a cartoon mouse. boorite? Yes. I am your father. It was a hard truth, one that left me reeling for a good five seconds before my senses returned. So that's why I had no pants. I don't wear any! Exactly, my son. Members of the Boo Tang Clan have no need for such trivialities as pants. But still, questions filled my mind that needed to be asked. Why is that again? If you have to ask, you're not ready to know, son.

---
I has a flavor!

"Naked Came The Stripper" Fin by CHUBBY 1-06-05

My head was spinning like a midget in a blender. My insides were churning like a something inside a something with a something. But it was all becoming clear to me-- as clear as [INSERT SIMILE HERE]. Hey guys-- waddya think? It's my son! As I met my uncles-- even my weird uncle, Kajun-- I felt for the first time that I was part of something bigger. And I felt more comfortable around other Pantless-Americans. That was a year ago. Welcome, kid! Cheers, mate! Now I'm happily married and-- hey, have you met my hot wife? Pardon me if I don't stand up. The beginning????

Thanks and props to everyone who participated.

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Thank you, young Mr. Grace.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

oh was i still meant to do this? I was watching inflate's comics for #7 and just now realised umfum did it.

.. he was meant to be doing 7 right?

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

quote:

---

oh was i still meant to do this? I was watching inflate's comics for #7 and just now realised umfum did it.

.. he was meant to be doing 7 right?

---