Please let me know which horrible corporate food chain you hate the least and why. It may actually affect where I apply:

Applebee's
Chili's
TGIFriday's
Bertucci's
Olive Garden

I know nothing about what it is like to work at any of these. Any other places that are somewhat decent to work at?

PS- This is a direct result of boinky33 refusing to continue being my sugar daddy. :(

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

I've never heard of Bertucci's, but judging by the company you've placed it in above, it must serve bland food at moderate prices in a noisy environment to people who don't know any better.

That said, I hate Chili's the least.

The first series I ever wrote here was based on a comment you made in the forums about how if you were on death row, your last meal would be seafood fettucini from Olive Garden...let's re-visit it:

When You're on Death Row, You're Family by choadwarrior 6-12-03

I'm here to take your order for your last meal. You can have anything you want. Great! I'd like some seafood fettuccine from Olive Garden. No, really...you can have ANYTHING. Whatever you want...it's okay. Then I'll also have lots and lots of bread sticks and their giant salad drenched in ranch dressing. Work with me here...we're trying to do something nice for you before we kill you.

You're Asking For It by choadwarrior 6-12-03

I ain't got nothin' to confess. You need to face God with a clean soul. Are you sure there isn't anything you need to tell me? I've said all I need to say to you. Isn't it true that you just ordered food from Olive Garden for your last meal? Yes. And you aren't the least bit remorseful?

The Will of the People by choadwarrior 6-12-03

Governor, I respectfully request that you grant my client clemency and commute her death sentence to life in prison. Twelve citizens sitting on a jury in this state recommended that she get the death penalty. Why should I ignore their verdict? She has accepted her role in the crime and has expressed remorse for the victims' families. Is it true she ordered Olive Garden for her last meal? Hmmm...I hadn't considered the insanity defense. Will you buy that? Look, I really can't see any benefit to letting her live.

Public Enema #1 by choadwarrior 6-12-03

DEAD WOMAN WALKING! Is it true that I'll lose complete control of my bodily functions? Yes. Is that from the chemicals in the lethal injection? No, from the Olive Garden food in your stomach. Maybe we should walk a little faster.

Gasp! by choadwarrior 6-12-03

Any last words before we put you in the gas chamber? GAS CHAMBER? I thought you were going to execute me by lethal injection. Yeah, that was before we knew you were going to order Olive Garden for your last meal. We figured we could save some money on chemicals if we sealed you in the old gas chamber and let you fart yourself to death.

Asses to Asses by choadwarrior 6-12-03

Well, nobody came to PhreakyChinchilla's funeral...I guess I should say a few words anyway. Here is a woman who died as she lived... Stinking of garlic, and bad alfredo trickling down her jumpsuit leg.

Denouement by choadwarrior 6-12-03

Your eternal punishment will be that you eat nothing but food from Olive Garden. Muah-ha-ha! Is that supposed to be some kind of ironic punishment? Like I will have to eat my most favourite food until I burst? Or the service will be really slow and I'll go hungry? No...you will eat nothing but food from Olive Garden. Muah-ha-ha!

Ahahaha. I do remember that series. The most comics EVER made about me. Huzzah! :)

Thanks. Although I am not sure I could ever work there. It would ruin my idea of alfredo sauce.

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

Although I know that choad loathes it, I enjoy Olive Garden. Sure, there are better Italian restaurants around, but for a chain, it ain't bad. Plus they give you those fine little chocolate mints. Mmmmm.

Chili's is second.

If I had to work at a chain restaurant, I'd probably go with Cheesecake factory.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I'm sorry, but I'm running out of sugar, Phreaky.

Applebee's - I was dissapointed when I dicovered they don't serve bees.

Chili's - Gave me the runs.

TGIFriday's - Reminds me of abc's TGIF, which reminds me of Family Matters, which reminds me of Steve Urkel and I HATE HIM SO MUCH!

Bertucci's - The assistant manager there molested me in the bathroom once.

Olive Garden - They say that when we're there, we're family. So I tried showing the staff my report card and asked if they would drive me to the mall, but they yelled at me and banned me for life.

U SHOULD WURK AT WHITE CASTLE! LOL!

Um, I suggest Starbucks because it was pretty high on that list of "100 best places to work evar lol"

so yeah

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Applebees has good food. TGIFriday's is just plain loud and expensive. The Olive Garden claims to be authentic Italian even though they have 17 Puerto Ricans working in the kitchen. I'd work at Chili's, their ribs are awesome.

I tried the Applebees here in NYC because I had a 2 for 1 entrée coupon. It was awful. They win the prize for largest disparity between how the food looks on the menu and what you actually get. I think they unwrapped a Hungry Man dinner, stirred in some corn syrup and slopped it on a plate. Ditto for my wife's free meal. Please don't go work for one of those chains. Check with any mom and pop restaurants and try to get work there.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

Considering that you'll probably be eating their food as well as working there, I'd go with Chili's.

Don't know anything about Bertucci except he shouldn't have laid the smack down on that guy from behind.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

The Applebee's in Yonkers has the best steak I've EVER tasted. Any Applebee's I've been to in the city has been shite.

Bertucci's is fine if you like Greeks pretending to be Italian making your food and tossing stuff into traditional Italian dishes that don't belong there.

Olive Garden is where people who crave the familial relationships Italians have go to feel like they're Italian. Trust me when I say there's nothing about being Italian that's desirable.

Chili's is fine, but I hold a huge grudge against them for hiring N*Sync to make a commercial for them.

TGIFriday's should stand for "Teenagers Gabbing Idiotically on Fridays", because in NY that's what it is.

Pizzaria Uno's? IHOP? Red River Grill? Outback Steakhouse?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Outback. Good call. Steak is where it's at.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

None of these are in my country. :(

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Without an Applebee's, how can you even call it a country?

Beaz worked at Chili's for a spell and he quite enjoyed it there... as did my manager from one of my jobs many moons ago. She was manager at the cafe and then kitchen Manager at Chili's.

So I say, try Chili's. If not, go Outback. They's good.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

B-b-but, Outback is supposed to be authentic Australian. H-how is that possible?? Next you'll be saying that everyone doesn't drink Fosters there.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I prefer Bennigan's steak to Outback's. Mainly cause every Outback I've been to thinks making a quarter inch crust of all the wrong spices is how you cook a rare-rare NY strip.

At least Bennigan's knew that when I said "rare as legally allowed" I wanted to be able to suck the blood out of the meat so's I'd have enough energy later in the evening to go pillaging and maurauding around the village with my horde of the damned.

But the best steak I've ever had (except when I prepare it myself) was at the Twin Cities Grill in the Mall of America. Now THEY knew how to make a rare steak!

Personally, the only way to get me to go back to food service would be to hold me at gunpoint and even then I'd have to think about it for a while. There's places I can no longer eat at because I made the mistake of discovering behind the scenes shenanigans. And it took a while for me to work up the nerve to eat in other places as well. Ignorance is indeed bliss.

Frankly, I'd never recommend working at a chain restaurant because it is good. Work there because you like the pay or the hours. Corporate restaurant chains all suck (except Mortons, Ruth's Chris, and P.F. Changs). Perhaps Chilis, Outback, Olive Garden, et al were good when they were small, but in the march to standardization and appealing to the broadest possible audience, their quality all diminished.

Go ahead--name the genre, entree, and/or price point and I can think of a non-chain restaurant that does it better.

Grilled cheese sandwich!

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Poop.

BIG MAC!

Actually, I can. A great little kitchen called "Rosetta's." Mostly vegan food, the Grilled Cheese is the only thing I can think of off their menu with anything dairy in it. It's a damn good grilled cheese though. 'specially when served with sweet potato fries. It's all 'organic,' bread, cheese, and potatoes, which makes the Sandwich plus fries cost around $5.50, but I cannot stress enough just how many other sandwich asses it kicks in a street fight.

LAEL!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I give the place four jerking Norwegians. It would only be three if it weren't for the grilled cheese.

B-b-but, Outback is supposed to be authentic Australian. H-how is that possible?? Next you'll be saying that everyone doesn't drink Fosters there.

Maybe they are here but they're just called Steakhouse.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

MikeyG, the only true Pizzeria Uno (and Due) is in Chicago, and that place couldn't be anywhere NEAR a chain. Also, ivy, if you live in the city I will second the motion to work at a mom & pop place. Pay won't be as good but at least you'll have your dignity.