Chocolate Chunks: Hershey's Marshmallow Bell by CHUBBY 2-21-05

OH MY GOD!!! WHAT??? This is so weird-- I haven't heard from Rose in two years. We were talking about her last night. And today she sends me an email. SHE'S GETTING MARRIED!!! Where are you going? To look out the window. I think that's one of the signs of the apocalypse.

Chocolate Chunks: Hershey's Marshmallow Pumpkin by CHUBBY 2-21-05

I thought you liked Rose. I do! Then why are you surprised she's getting married? Because she's, uh, morbidly obese. I was heavier than she is! So, what are her colors?

Chocolate Chunks: Hershey Sleighbells by CHUBBY 2-21-05

EEEEEEEK! What is it now? She wants me to be matron of honor. Oh, honey can we go pleasepleaseplease! Sure. Why not? Where is the wedding, anyhow? Alaska.

Chocolate Chunks: Icebreakers by CHUBBY 2-21-05

It's OK, honey. I checked, and we have enough frequent flier miles for two tickets to Alaska. Whew! That's a relief! So, Matron of Honor, huh? Wow. Well, we were best friends. Are. She wasn't even in our wedding. Yes she was. She did the reading. You know you have a weight problem when you're too fat to be a bridesmaid.

Chocolate Chunks: Hershey Milk Chocolate Heart by CHUBBY 2-22-05

Wow. Rose is getting married. There but for..... I wonder why I ended up marrying Reese instead of Rose? I guess there's really no answer to that question. What does Rose do in Alaska, anyway? She's a missionary. That's why.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Half-baked Alaska by CHUBBY 2-22-05

Well, here we are in Alaska. I don't see Rose. Do you? Are you sure this is where we're supposed to meet her? Yeah. I don't see Reese anywhere. Will you call her from a payphone?

Half-baked Alaska 2 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

Excuse me, would you please page Reese McCluskey? Excuse me, would you please page Rose Hutcheson? Reese? ROSE????

Half-baked Alaska 3 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

You look fantastic!!! So do you!!! How did you lose the weight??? I had my stomach stapled! You? I ate less and exercised. I've heard of that.

Half-baked Alaska 4 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

Howdy, stranger. Holy Mackerel! You look great! Embrace= 0.9 seconds too long.

Half-baked Alaska 5 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

Wait right here. Walter went to go find a phone to try and call your cell. I'll go get him. Rose always used to date good-looking guys, even when she was big. I bet her fiance's a real hunk. Guys, this is Walter.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Half-baked Alaska 6 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

McClusky. Is that Jewish? Yes. Yes it is. Please don't embarrass me this weekend. Why would you tell him that? That's the only proper response to an Anti-Semite.

Half-baked Alaska 7 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

Rose made me a dress as a surprise, but obviously it won't fit. We can always use it this weekend as a pup tent. Have you heard the good news, brother? Somebody shot Dubya?

Half-baked Alaska 8 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

What do you do? I'm a missionary. Good money in that? We live off donations from friends and relatives like yourself. We ask everyone to contribute 10% of their income. There IS good money in that.

Half-baked Alaska 9 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

Who do you missionary to? Local students, mostly. But in the summer we go on retreat, usually to Colorado or Maine. And in the winter, we go somewhere warm to spread the gospel. Like where? Last year, it was the French Riviera. Oh, you speak French? No, none of us did, but we found one person who spoke English. Praise Jesus.

Half-baked Alaska 10 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

Dude is gonna hit me up for money. Rose already did. You didn't give it to her, did you? No. She wants to raise enough to move to France, so she can minister to Africans. Why doesn't she move to Africa? There's millions of 'em there. Hey, maybe we could be missionaries in Belgium!

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Half-baked Alaska 11 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

See the game last night? We don't have a TV or radio. I guess you and Rose have better things to do. Prayer and quiet contemplation. No sex until marriage. Some of these missionaries have twelve, fourteen kids. I guess they have to make up for lost time.

Half-baked Alaska 12 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

Rose says you're a brewer. That's right. Say, I hear there's a great brewpub-- We think drinking alcohol is a sin. Well, Jesus would disagree with you there, but you go with that.

Half-baked Alaska 13 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

We'll let you check in and freshen up, and we'll see you at the rehearsal dinner in a couple hours. Great. What is the dress code? Hairshirt? Sackcloth and ashes? Oh hush.

Half-baked Alaska 14 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

I'd like everyone to meet my best friend Reese. Reese and her husband Mike came all the way here from DC! "I have learned a lot from Reese. I saw her and Mike engaging in sexual relations before marriage, and I knew God was displeased. I vowed not to have sex again until marriage. *Snicker Will you hush? "I was kind of wild, chasing after lots of debonair, handsome men. But Reese taught me to lower my sights." HEY! *Snicker

Half-baked Alaska 15 by CHUBBY 2-22-05

(We gotta get outta here.) (Follow my lead.) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I WOULD LIKE TO SING A TRADITIONAL SONG FROM MY FAITH. HAVAH, NEGILAH, HAVAH, NEGILA HAVA, NEGILA VE NIS MUKHA. HAVA NA RUN NUN NA, HAVA NA RUN NUN NA HAVAH, NA RUNNUN NAH, Exit stage left-- LAST ONE TO THE AIRPORT IS A ROTTEN IGLOO! RACE YA!

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Pretty darn funny.

I love the brilliant utilization of 2 panel strips.

What does that mean, you big fuckin' loser? I don't see you doing any cartoons at all. You just sit there on your big fat loser ass and criticize.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

It means I like the way you use 2 panel strips.

It means your a lying fucking shitsack on top of everything else that you are. Why don't you take this to FGH, where it belongs? Then I can ignore your sorry stupid flabby white ass.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

I didn't say anything that would constitute a FGH thread. I really like how you can use 2 panel strips to compliment your 3 panel strips.

Fucking knock this shit off.

CHUBBY, I think he was genuinely complimenting you.

I found this series amusing, as a side note.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

I think these comics suck.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.