[center][b]Volume One[br]
[u]The Search For Employment[/u][/b]
In which Boorite tries a wide selection of occupations with varying degrees of success.[hr]

Up Shit Creek. by artemisstrong 2-11-05

Scott, I need you to file that stack of books over there in the Reference section. Hey, bitch, howbout this: I file my cock in your cooter! Heh. Man, I am SO out of work.

Questionable Hiring Practices. by artemisstrong 2-11-05

It says here you primarily have library experience. Why do you want to be a pilot? Beats scratchin' my nuts all week. Well... I need to fill this position badly. You seem a decent enough guy to me (maybe a little aloof)... I'll give you a shot. Just don't screw this up! Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I'd just like to let ya'll know: I'M SO FUCKIN' DRUNK RIGHT NOW, IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! Thank you, that is all.

On Subbing. by ArtemisStrong 2-11-05

That new sub, what do you make of him? At first I thought he was a lost 'tard from the "Life Skills for Adults" class. And is he alone with the kids right now? Uhh... 'kay, kids, today 'm gonna' show you all the different parts of the body a human can shave. Who wants to volunteer to be my helper?

Seckshual Hairassmunt. by ArtemisStrong 2-11-05

Here at Hotel L'imacea, we pride ourselves on quality. I want you to get this room looking as clean as possible. You have thirty minutes. Let's go! Do you get the Spice Channel in these rooms? Yes. I'll go get the biscuit.

Oh My! What A Disaster This Turned Out To Be! by ArtemisStrong 2-14-05

Uh. Hi. Is this the place that had the ad "Need Cool Friendly Type To Help Change The World."? Sure is, my man. Welcome to the "Kind Connection Commune"! We live, share and learn! Oh, eh, so when can I fill out my W-2 forms? Yah, well we aint got nothing like that here. This is a hippie-commune. Peace, Love, Free Herb, that kinda' thing. And you're the only one here? I mean what kind of "free love" could there be if there's only one- I'm not alone anymore! Follow me to the massage room. And bring wood and oil.

[Click to view comic: 'First Response? : "Um... yah... um..."'][hr]

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

"Seckshual Harassment" was my favorite. Good show, Artie lad.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I still want to know what the biscuit game is. No one will tell me.

Frankly, I'm starting to think it doesn't really exist.

The Biscuit Game

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

That, sir, is a fucked up game.

Are we sure STRAIGHT kids play this game?

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Shame on Us for All We Have Done. May God Have Mercy on Our Dirty Little Hearts.

I liked these funny comics.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Agreed. I think more people should hop on the boorite bandwagon. Now that the cumflap is AWOL we have a huge boorite void to fill.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

He will be back this week, hopefully. I miss him somethin' fierce!

Umm..err..yeah..whenever he comes back we'll have to beat him senseless, that pissflap!

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

For more biscuit game trivia from a true veteran of the sport, click here.