An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 1 by fuzzyman 3-01-05

TOO HUNG OVER TO GO OUT AND FIND SOMETHING TO CORNHOLE. THERE MUST bE SOMETHING AROUND THE HOUSE!!! HMMM. GABE BOUGHT A NEW PC... AND IT HAS A FLOPPY DRIVE. THAT WILL DO. Faster than you can say "General Protection Fault"... CRITICAL ERROR: GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT AT 0000:FFFF. YOU ARE TOTALLY FUCKED. AIIIIEEEEEE!!!!

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 2 by fuzzyman 3-01-05

wakupredniht HUH? wakeuprdnight!! WHAT??? WAKE UP, RED KNIGHT!!! AAAAIIIIIIEEEE!!!!!

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 3 by fuzzyman 3-01-05

What brings ye to Camelot, Red Knight? RED KNIGHT? TOBOR IS CONFUSED! Thou must have fallen off thy steed and bumped thy noggin. Did'st thou journey far to compete in King Arthur's jousting tournament, Sir Tobor? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK-- *AHEM*. WHAT MAKEST THOU THINK TOBOR IS A KNIGHT? Thy suit of red armor is unusual indeed, but thy gigantic jousting lance is a dead giveaway.

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Rabid_Weasle aproves of where this is going.

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Poop.

It's already better than that crap with Martin Lawrence.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

What crap with Martin Lawrence?

Nearly everything?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

This can be the start of a Great Books series: Toby Dick, A Christmas Cornhole, The Scarlet Member, Buttholewulf, 198RAAAR!, etc.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Actually, it was either this or something called The Fugitor where he is framed for murder by the one-testicled man. I still may do that one someday.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 4 by fuzzyman 3-02-05

WHERE ART WE GOING NOW? Before ye can compete in the tourney, thou must be introduced to the King! What is thy heraldic name? WHAT DOES'T THOU MEAN? PRAY TELL, WHAT IS A HERALDIC NAME? Well, there is Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Fred the Violent, and Sir Kaufman the Punster. I am Sir Galahad the Effeminate. Thou art Sir Tobor the...? SIR TOBOR THE IMPALER. Yes!

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 5 by fuzzyman 3-02-05

RRAAARRR!!! SIR TOBOR SHALT CORNHOLE THEE NOW!!!! Okay! Well? IT'S SO MUCH LESS FUN WHEN THEY'RE WILLING. Have at me!

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 6 by fuzzyman 3-02-05

Findest me Sir Galahad! He doth be late with his weekly status report. Later... Your Highness! Thy scouts report that Sir Galahad is in batttle with a strange Red Knight on the edge of the eastern wood. Ah! Is Sir Galahad besting his foe? Nay, my King. He is being stabbed repeatedly with an enormous red jousting lance! Saddle up! We must save him!

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

HAHAHAHAHA, MORE!! More!!!
HAVE AT ME!

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

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Shame on Us for All We Have Done. May God Have Mercy on Our Dirty Little Hearts.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 7 by fuzzyman 3-04-05

I, Arthur, King of the Britons, comand ye to stop attacking Sir Galahad! If you do not obey, I shalt be forced to smite ye with the mighty sword Excalibur! OKAY, SIR TOBOR WILL STOP. That's it? COME ON! I really wanted to get in some smiting today, dammit!

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 8 by fuzzyman 3-04-05

I must find a reason to smite this Red Knight! He doth be humping a knothole in a tree. Unusual, perchance, but not in violation of thy kingly laws. I hereby declare tree humping illegal! Now he doth be humping a rabbit hole. I hereby declare-- Correction. It might be the rabbit's mouth. It's hard to tell from here.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 9 by fuzzyman 3-04-05

THANKS, MAN, THAT WAS-- Jesus Christ, I wish to God someone would invent cigarettes.

To be continued...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

hahahahaha fuck that last one was awesome on its own!

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

I'm glad you got it. My wife was like, WTF?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

A++++++++

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 10 by fuzzyman 3-08-05

Hold, knave! Ye may be armored as a knight, but thy illegal acts with thy lance prove thee to be common trash. Prepare to be smitten by the mighty Excalibur! TOBOR LIKES YOUR SWORD, BUT HE IS HARDLY SMITTEN BY IT. Enough! Prepare to be smitted! SMITTED? *GUFFAW* PREPARE TO BE SMOTED!!! YOU FAILED THE VERBAL PORTION OF THE KINGLY ENTRANCE EXAM, DIDN'T YOU?

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 11 by fuzzyman 3-08-05

You doth ridicule my grammar! The pot calleth the kettle black! HOW SO? Thou hast no ability to use First Person Singular Pronouns! What say ye to that? RRAAARR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU NOW! Nay, *I* will cornhole you now. NOT LIKELY.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 12 by fuzzyman 3-08-05

RRAAARR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU NOW! Try again! *I* will cornhole you now! ENOUGH! IT'S TOO DIFFICULT! RAAAAAARRGH!!!! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!! OOPSIE. King Arthur is dead! Long live King Tobor!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Damn that is funny. Episode 8 hadith me rolling.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 13 by fuzzyman 3-09-05

Hail, King Tobor! I am Merlin, the world's greatest wizard! I have come to provide thee aid in thy time of need. IF THOU ART SUCH A GREAT WIZARD, WHY ARE THEE NOT KING? Hail, King Tobor! I am Merlin, a pretty good wizard! I have come to provide thee comic relief.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 14 by fuzzyman 3-11-05

TOBOR IS SO GLAD HE ORDERED THE VARIETY PACK.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 15 by fuzzyman 3-11-05

Your Majesty, Sir Galahad requests an audience. HAS HE PASSED THE TEST? The test? THE TIGHTNESS TEST. I don't understand. NO ONE GETS IN UNLESS THE HOLE'S PENCIL THIN.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 16 by fuzzyman 3-11-05

King Tobor must be overthrown! I agree! I doth suspect that he is not a knight, but some strange, artificial creature. Why doth thee want him gone? My rectal regions are no longer tight enough for him to desire me carnally. Do you want him gone because you suspect he doth not be human? No, it's because all he asks me to do is conjure up barrel upon barrel of something called "K-Y."

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 17 by fuzzyman 3-11-05

YOU WANTED TO SEE KING TOBOR, MERLIN? Yes, Your Majesty! *ahm* EYE OF NEWT AND HAIR OF TESH!! AAAAIIEEEEEEE!!!! THOU SHALT BE MADE INTO VULNERABLE FLESH! WELL, WELL! Why did I not expect this?

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 18 by fuzzyman 3-11-05

TOBOR IS HUMAN! Yes, my spell hath worked perfectly and revealed your true human form. But that "99" emblazoned on your chest... that refers to.... inches? GALLONS. Riiiight. GET BACK HERE. Eeep!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

It's so much easier when you don't have a plot.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 19 by fuzzyman 3-13-05

King Tobor, I was going to kill you, I couldn't bring myself to do it! WHY NOT, SIR GALAHAD? I love you! So I asketh Merlin to cast a spell on me. I now hath the tighest hole in all the land! KING TOBOR IS TOUCHED BY THIS WONDERFUL GESTURE! Oh, Tobor! Let us spread the word of cornholing around the world! Let me be your Queen! YOU KIND OF ARE ALREADY, BUT... YEAH.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 20 by fuzzyman 3-13-05

Meanwhile, back in the 21st century... Captain's Log, Stardate 34212.2. We are making first contact with the Milurians. Commander Data is on the surface now, explaining our Prime Directive to the inhabitants. Strange, I don't remember this epidsode. RRRAARRR!! DATA WILL CORNHOLE YOU NOW! Somthing terrible has happened to the timeline!

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 21 by fuzzyman 3-13-05

The world has gone mad! Why am I the only person who remembers the previous timeline? Hello, citizen! Care to cornhole my cat? What? No! Deviant! POLICE! Arrest this heretic! He's a danger to society! Later... Get this straight. You're going to be my prison bitch, and you're going to bang me silly! You know, this new timeline might not be so bad!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The thrilling conclusion...

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 22 by fuzzyman 3-13-05

Back in the past... Merlin! You've totally fucked up the future! Why did you not get rid of King Tobor? He and Queen Galahad seemed so happy together! Why does that affect the future? He's FROM the future, you fool! By allowing him to stay here he's popularizing cornholing far too early in God's Divine Plan! So God's Divine Plan includes the popularization of cornholing in the future? Pretty much, yeah. I'm really glad that I live in the past.

An Ass-Raping Robot in King Arthur's Court - Episode 23 by fuzzyman 3-13-05

King Tobor... HAIR OF TOAD AND THRUST OF SCHLONG! LET'S PUT YOU BACK WHERE YOU BELONG! AAAIIIIEEEEE!!!! And so, everything returned to normal. TOBOR IS BACK IN HIS OWN TIME, AND HE'S METAL AGAIN! DID ALL OF THAT HAPPEN, OR WAS IT JUST A STRANGE DREAM...? Mostly. Get this straight. You're going to be my prison bitch. Now pick up the soap I just dropped. Nooooooo!

The End

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I never did explain why Gabe remembers the old timeline and no one else does, but I'm sure it has something to do with chroniton particles.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Or with wirthling sucking.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I once tried making a very long series, but got bored around the second installment. Trust fuzzyman to go one better.

It helps if you just tell the same joke about ass-rape over and over again.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Well when you've ass-raped as much as fuzzy has, it just comes natural.

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Poop.