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andydougan
Film critic subordinaire

Member Rated:

I'm quite offended by this bucket of shite. Is anyone else?

3-06-05 9:18pm (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:

Haven't seen it, I want to though. Looks uber cheesy. I like silly gothy movies, even if Keanu Reeves is doing it.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

3-06-05 9:48pm (new)
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thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

My girlfriend tells me it's complete and utter shite with a pathetic storyline. Reviews were bad. I'm not gonna bother.

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

3-06-05 11:12pm (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:

Sounds like my kind of movie.

Donnie Darko was given shitty reviews and bombed in the theatres.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

3-06-05 11:50pm (new)
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fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

Hollywood seems to have a hard time making decent comics into halfway passable movies. For every "Spider-Man" (which was good, but not OMFG excellent) there's a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

I fear what they are going to do to Watchmen. What damage will they do translating an intricate sotryline with tons of flashbacks and Big Questions About The Worth of Humanity into an Action-Packed Movie?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

3-07-05 2:49am (new)
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Externalization
blamange impersonator and cannibal

Member Rated:

No doubt Alan Moore is spinning in his grave right now, which is made all the more disturbing by the fact that he's not dead.

3-07-05 3:37am (new)
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NooniePuuBunny
Horny Female Tentacled Kaiju from Outer Space

Member Rated:

I was offended by the commercial preview. Haven't seen it yet. I feel if I could actually afford to see it in the theatres, I'd walk out the door within 20 minutes.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

3-07-05 5:12am (new)
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Inflatable_Man
Heart stopper. Hip hopper. Pill popper.

Member Rated:

Donnie Darko wasn't given shite reviews. In fact it got quite good reviews at Sundance. It just bombed in theaters because it was an indie film with no promotion. It only came alive when it came onto DVD and now it's a classic ... and actually a cultural phenomenon.

Btw, don't buy the director's cut... For some reason Richard Kelly decided all the cool songs in the original had to be replaced with songs that aren't cool... and he restored a bunch of boring, snooze inducing scenes which should have been left on the cutting-room floor.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

3-07-05 7:06am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

I made the mistake of paying for this caricature of fecal erosion. In NYC, no less, where Manhattan has decided to jack up the price of a single movie viewing to $10.50 American. That's probably about 6 pounds to you fucking Ulster motherfuckers.

I watched Keanu Reeves bumble his way through a role that any pissant actor with half a badass streak in him could have farted out better. A decent if rather preachy and overblown comic book series was made into a shitty, choppy pile of diseased vermin, without even the common courtesy of flashing a tittie or two at a catatonic audience.

The worst part? At the end of this flotsam, some of the schmucks in the back of the theater clapped, and not just because we finally ceased being subjected to the horrendousness.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

3-07-05 7:21am (new)
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Inflatable_Man
Heart stopper. Hip hopper. Pill popper.

Member Rated:

I hate ANYONE who claps at ANY movie. It's not a fucking play, people. No one can hear you! Who the fuck are you clapping for...? The goddamn five dollar an hour projectionist or the disgruntled dude who mops up sticky drinks from the floor after you're gone?

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

3-07-05 9:51am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

I was hoping everyone would just quietly assume that same stance on clapping at movies, Flate. In general, even our most retarded members of this site must have a rudimentary intelligence to be able to fathom the site's purpose.

If I had a choice, I would bludgeon each and every ignorant fuckpot that claps in a goddamn movie theater.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

3-07-05 10:19am (new)
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FinnNYC
germs

Member Rated:

I enjoyed Constantine. It was rife with plot-holes and crappy acting but it entertained me. I thought a lot of the imagery was good. It was just the kind of light, mindless entertainment I was looking for that day. I say rent it.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

3-07-05 12:04pm (new)
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JESUSSANDWICH
is a wonderful person

Member Rated:

On a comepletly different thought I am going to see the ring two.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

3-07-05 12:25pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

I thought it was Constant Teen, but the cineplex still wouldn't give me a refund. What a ripoff.

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What others say about boorite!

3-07-05 12:37pm (new)
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Melkor
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

I actually saw "constantine" at a film festival last week, but since it was in a film marathon the night was not a total lost. Skip this crap, and get "bubba-Ho-Tep", "Primer"and "Old Boy"

Still, Rachel Weisz looks damn good in a tank top.

---
There was once a man who said:"nothing is true!". Although later it was found out that he was lying.

3-07-05 1:05pm (new)
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thochaos
The Host of Chaos

Member Rated:

The ring two =( The shouldn't have made the first fucking movie.

---
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

3-07-05 5:30pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

Member Rated:

I hear they're going to kill half a dozen horses for no reason in this one.

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Poop.

3-07-05 7:13pm (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

Well, I keep hoping Naomi Watts is going to get busy with another chick in all of her movies, but that hasn't happened since Mulholland Drive.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

3-08-05 9:59am (new)
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UnknownEric
and the Goblet of Mountain Dew.

Member Rated:


Have you seen that cover of GQ where she's naked except for a strategically placed snake? Grrrrrrr...

---
I has a flavor!

3-08-05 10:02am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

I think that may be what I hated about Constantine. There were so many opportunities for her to flash her melons, yet she did not. What a ripoff.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

3-08-05 10:12am (new)
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JESUSSANDWICH
is a wonderful person

Member Rated:

Well The Ring's premise scared me but when it came to the movie not so much.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

3-08-05 11:27am (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:

Just a sidenote, I actually enjoyed League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I also liked Hellboy, X-Men and Spider Man. Spawn, not so much. I even liked Van Helsing.

Also, I never saw the Ring. I'd rather watch one of the twenty Japanese movies just like it that came out before the Ring was even thought of.

Japan knows its horror. And its whorror.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

3-08-05 4:13pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

Member Rated:

Strangley enough, they were orginally porn films in Japan.

---
Poop.

3-08-05 7:31pm (new)
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possums
FERN DESTROYER

Member Rated:

No offense, flatey, but up yours. I like to show appreciation for something I like when I'm finished watching it. Not for the filmmakers, and certainly not for the ignorant theater staff, but for myself, because I am a selfish prick who likes letting people know what I enjoy, of course.

Up yours, too, Mikey. People have reactions to movies when they're done watching them. You know what I did when I finished watching "Eternal Sunshine?" I threw my fucking seven-dollar coke at the screen, because when I'm finished having brain thoroughly screwed by a bunch of annoying twats, I like to douse them with expensive carbohydrates.

I'm sorry for the outburst, but the standards of theaters, especially those of movie theaters, are things that I'm fairly concerned with.

3-08-05 10:13pm (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

Who do you feel it necessary to show your appreciation to? You need the rest of the theater to hear you clapping to yourself?

That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. If you clap for a movie, the only appreciation you're showing is for the freedom to act like a complete jackass in public without consequence.

So, after watching a particularly good movie at home, do you also clap? Like, when you're alone?

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

3-09-05 6:12am (new)
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