The Donkeys Of Brad Schwartz -- 1 by biped 5-25-05

...so I said, "Don't look at me...that's not my donkey." Ha, ha... ha, ha, ha... that was a very funny story, Brad. It wasn't meant to be funny. It really wasn't my donkey. Ha, ha, I -- huh? In fact, I've never owned a donkey. Hmm...maybe that's why he always looks so sad.

The Donkeys Of Brad Schwartz -- 2 by biped 5-25-05

Brad, I bought you a donkey. May it bring you happiness. ????? Well, come on, donkey. I have a doctor's appointment to go to. There's a donkey trying to hump the x-ray machine! Who's responsible for this? Me, I'm afraid. That's my donkey.

The Donkeys Of Brad Schwartz -- 3 by biped 5-25-05

Brad, Jamalia has spearheaded a community fundraiser in your honor. We've raised enough money to buy you a hundred donkeys. Oh. Thanks. Who the hell's responsible for all of this catastrophic devastation? That would be me, officer. Those are my donkeys. ...so I said, "That would be me... those are my donkeys." Poor Brad...with all of this trouble, it's a good thing he loves donkeys so much.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Donkeys Of Brad Schwartz -- 4 by biped 5-25-05

A donkey just caused a 200-car pile-up on the freeway. I'm sure you know why I'm here. Yes, I understand. ...98...99...100. They're all accounted for, officer. And I thought this was an open-and-shut case. Well, it's back to square one for me. ...so I said, "Don't look at me...that's not my donkey." I wonder how many times Brad is going to tell me the "donkey story."

The Donkeys Of Brad Schwartz -- 5 by biped 5-25-05

Hey, it's the DONKEY MAN! Mommy! Mommy! DONKEY MAN! Yo, DONKEY DUDE! WUT UP! Those donkeys are ruining my life. Brad, I've sent a letter about you to the governor. He's declaring you "King Of The Donkeys" and is donating 500 more donkeys to the "Brad Schwartz Donkey Fund" -- Please don't take this the wrong way, Jamalia, but -- I hate the donkeys.

The Donkeys Of Brad Schwartz -- 6 by biped 5-25-05

Well, if that don't just beat all. You try to help some people. Say, aren't you the big dog food tycoon who distributes "Donkey King" Dog Food? Yes. It's made from 100% real donkeys. Perhaps you've seen my new TV commercial. YUUUUM, YUM! "THAT'S MY DONKEY!"

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

That series was a writhing pile of steaming hilarity. Possibly your steamiest and most writhing yet!

Excellent.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Thanks!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

These comics really make me wish I had a bunch of donkeys and then quickly didn't.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I think that may be an innate desire all humans have had since the caveman days.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

These comics were so funny I went over to my aunt's house, blew her door down with a 12 gauge shotgun and started playing "Dixie" on her piano.

It's always good to have a shotgun handy when you really need it.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

These comics made me start a Christian rock band, that I may celebrate the glory of the Lord and His works through music. I play the recorder.

That's great, I love a good recorder solo.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

These comics also made a square inch of my spleen harbor resentment against the Zapatistas and their soccer skills.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I like a good spleen joke.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

This series made me eat an ENTIRE bowl of cerial. I hope you are happy. You heartless bastard.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

This story has inspired me to go on with my dream of becoming the first person to sell jewelry and frozen custard out of the back of my mother's old, broken-down station wagon in the front yard.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Cool! That's almost better than being dead!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

This series has inspired me to start a revolution of Jewish Neo-cons named "Ulrich." The members are riled up and ready to take over the world! Both of them!