My PS2 makes ugly noises when it's tray opens. It's all: "VVVVSSSHHKKKKK", and I'm all: "Yuck!" In comparison, my PS1 is still in flawless working order, and it's like 4 years older.
Likewise, I had to get my Gamecube replaced after only 6 months of play (albeit heavy play, due to Super Smash Bros. Melee). Meanwhile, my NES is still in perfect condition, minus a weird rattling sound it makes when you shake it.
They're not making this stuff like they used to.
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Could this be...THE BURIAL MASK OF AGAMEMNON?!