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biped 
Mr. Wonderful
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| I'm sorreh you lost yoah weenuh in tha woah, Lt. Dayun. | |
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| What a world! I get my DICK SHOT OFF in Viet Nam, and YOU -- a RETARD -- get to fuck HOT BABES! | |
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| Why, yoah talkin' bout mah JEN-NEHHH! Aren't you, Lt. Dayun? Lt. Dayun? Aren't you talkin' bout my -- | |
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| FUCK! Go buy me a titty magazine, Gump! At least I can still LOOK! | |
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| Well? Whadda ya want, fuckhead? | |
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| I would like to buy a ma-ga-zine with tit-tehhhs in it, please, suh. | |
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| This shoah is a int-uh-ress-tang ma-ga-zine. WHA -- why it's JEN-NEHHH! Oh, MY! She finally got to be a FAMOUS MODEL like she always WAWN-ted! | |
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| Hey, retard! I'll kick ya in the nuts for a buck! | |
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| What the fuck took you so long, Gump? | |
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| Sorreh, Lt. Dayun! I looked at summa them pik-shuhs and suddenly Little Forrest wanted ta stop off an' play "Buckin' Bronco"! | |
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| Forrest, I got AIDS and I'm DYIN'! I need some suckuh to take care of mah bastard chile that some drifter -- I mean, that YOU done give me! | |
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| Oh, MY! My JEN-NEHHH finally wants ta MAY-REH me! I'm so HAP-PEHHH! | |
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| Well, congratulations, Gump! And say hello to my new fiance', Wang-Chop! | |
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| Kling-klang! Ching-chang! A-hah a-hah a-hah! | |
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| Gump -- I got a BRAND NEW DICK! It's a STRAP-ON -- the LATEST TECHNOLOGY from the same guys who invented the ROTO-ROOTER! | |
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| Why -- it's a mah-jick dick! You gotta MAH-JICK DICK, Lt. Dayun! | |
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| And so, mah Jen-nehhh died. I bay-red huh right unduh-neath the tree where I used ta dangle mah weenuh at huh, and she used ta stick -- | |
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| Hey, Dad! Let's dig 'er up and look at her tits! | |
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| Well, Gump -- Wang-Chop's dead. My "magic dick" short-circuited and blew her right through the fucking roof. | |
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| Oh MY, Lt. Dayun! Well, I guess weah both just a coupla sad and lonely widow-wuhs now. | |
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| Uhh -- uhh -- UHHHHHHH!!! Why, these "blow jobs" wuh a FINE idea, Lt. Dayun! Aren't you gonna get one, too? | |
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| Nah, I'll just leave my dick here and pick it up tomorrow. | |
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---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.
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