For the first pic:
- Though he was older, wiser, and much more parapalegic, Macaulay Culkin still gave the people what they wanted.
- Joe demonstrates how not to ride a motorcycle.
For the second pic:
- TACO! RAAAR!
- Excuse me, miss? Sorry to interrupt your dinner, but do you have a watch on you? Good, then you can tell me what time it is after I've boned you in the bathrARF.
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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.