Nerds everywhere rejoiced when a new Star Trek series debuted. Once again they would get their weekly dose of strange aliens and space battles, with some gratuitous "decontamination" thrown in for good measure.

As a nerd, I felt it was my duty to commemerate this event with a comic contest. Meet the crew of the USS Tobor, Earth's first long-distance starship.

CC 70: Meet the crew by BigEvilDan 10-05-01

I'm Roger Starflier, captain of the USS Tobor. I only obey the rules when it suits me. I'm Maura, the by-the-book first officer. I always remind the captain of the rules, even though he ignores me. I'm X'xyx, the alien security chief. I compensate for the lonliness of being away from my people by blowing up everything I can. I'm Doctor Martin, the ship's medical officer. I'm consistently grouchy because of the endless stream of alien viruses I have to cure. I'm Volgor, the chief engineer. My strange alien habits lead to many wacky misadventures with the human crew. I'm an extra with no name. I won't live to the end of the show, but you can bet I'll be back next week anyway.

The rules are as follows:

[list=1]
[*] You must write a comic about the crew of the USS Tobor. This means you must include at least one of the characters listed. You may include any other characters you wish.

[*] You must give the name of an alien species. It could be one of the two alien crew members or another character of your choice.

[*] Name a piece of technology from the future, and give some hint of it's function.

[*] Feel free to give the characters any other personality quirks you wish.

[*] Remember, just because the contest was inspired by Star Trek, that doesn't mean the characters are from the Star Trek universe.
[/list]

The contest will end some time Monday evening, EST.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Well, I guess I'm first...

CC 70: The USS Tobor Sick Bay by attitudechicka 10-05-01

I just need to call in my associate, X'xyx for assistance. No problem doc. X'xyx, make that gun do it's thing! Sure thing, Doctor Martin. Damn, that was a great cheeseburger. Anyway, it seems you've come down with the deadly Argubugan virus. Oops, too late.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

quote:

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Nerds everywhere rejoiced when a new Star Trek series debuted. Once again they would get their weekly dose of strange aliens and space battles, with some gratuitous "decontamination" thrown in for good measure.

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It had to be done.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

quote:

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*sniffle*

I don't get UPN.

*weep*

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CC 70: Squeegie Board by kaufman 10-05-01

Ensign, that windshield's looking kind of grungy. Can you put on your EVA suit and clean it off? Aye-aye, Commander. Captain, I'm done installing the ultratransspatiomographic drive we picked up from the Autobahnians. Great, can't wait to try it out. We'll be home in 15 minutes. Engage! Dammit, Volgor, this ride's supposed to be smooth. What's that thump I heard?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 70: Squeegie Board by kaufman 10-05-01

Ensign, that windshield's looking kind of grungy. Can you put on your EVA suit and clean it off? Aye-aye, Commander. Captain, I'm done installing the ultratransspatiomographic drive we picked up from the Autobahnians. Great, can't wait to try it out. We'll be home in 15 minutes. Engage! Dammit, Volgor, this ride's supposed to be smooth. What's that thump I heard?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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quote:

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*sniffle*

I don't get UPN.

*weep*

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Of all the people to be suffering from UPNs Envy!

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To Boldly Cornhole by NastyPope 10-05-01

The crew of the USS Tobor defend against the evil Sphinctoids Engineering, more power to the Shields!!! Helm, defensive pattern Theta2!!!! Aye Captain..... Damn, I can't shake them off our asses, the port Nacel has been destabilized!!! Meanwhile on the Sphinctoid battle moon... Muahahahaah, the Hu-mans will soon die against the mighty power of my Love Missle when it penetrates their Rear shields!!! Captain Roger weighs the options & knows they have only one recourse. We have no choice, Vulgor, full power to the Sodomizer 3000!!! We're gonna tear them_a_new_asshole! Great Scott, Captain, you can't be serious!! That will violate the entire sector!

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Sorry about the double post -- the net's flaky, er, it was a transporter accident caused by a subspace anomaly.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC70: Why the USS Tobor Refuels in the Hollywood Hills by Vekktor 10-05-01

Ah! Maura! My experiment can begin... Not again... I've got Lt. Chund inside my device here, and she's ready for you now! You should know that her species, the Flavians, have fully-articulated reproductive organs. Good god Volgor, what for? I've estimated that we can get close to 97% in excess of light-speed by tapping the energy from your sapphic pseudo-reproductive frenzy. Dammit Volgor, I'm by-the-book, B.Y. the book... BEE WHY... not BEE EYE, ok?

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VEKKTOR: Winner of the coveted "Worst TOBOR Strip Crabby Has Ever Seen Award", 1 year running.

Ooooh, Vekktor, all that needed was a "Where No Man Has Gone Before" in the title!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

If I hear that weeny excuse one more time I'm gonna scream.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

If I hear that weeny excuse one more time I'm gonna scream.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Engage This! by Spankling 10-05-01

Captain, I sense that the alien is well... arroused. She may not be able to control herself around the males of her or any other species. BEEM HER UP! BEEM HER UP! In the captian's "ready room" You're a Cornholion? Gosh you're tiny (and hot)! What's that tube in your hand? Is it part of your courting ritual? o/` Just turn around like a good spaceman o/` I see this week's conquest had some kinky ideas of her own! How did you say this got up there? Just get it out. She said I only had 13 seconds before it morphed into a raging red robot bent on cornholing me and this entire ship to bits!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Someone could take pity on me

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Reading Spankling's comic makes me think of a certain age related Winger song.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Got a link to it? No Man's Land? The Lucky One? Little Dirty Blonde? I'm clueless.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Got a link to it? No Man's Land? The Lucky One? Little Dirty Blonde? I'm clueless.

http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Surf/2716/lyr.wingerx.html#1

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

BALANCE THE EQUATION!

Bonus points to the first person to get the reference.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

CC 70: Next Stop, Planet Häagen-Dazs by wirthling 10-05-01

What in Xortran's spiny tongue is going on here? This isn't Phallus Prime! Maura, why are we stopped here at a Mrs. Fields Cookie Store rather than en route to Phallus Prime as I ordered?! I don't know. We also made unscheduled stops at Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts. I'd check with that Crabbyzoid engineer of yours. What have you done to my ship this time, Volgor?! You don't like the new and improved impulse engines?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

A real friend would tape Buffy to you.

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What others say about boorite!

A real friend would tape Buffy to you.

No. I never much liked Buffy. I've had a thing for Willow since first season, though.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

CC70: To seek out and boldly blah blah blah yada yada yada by boorite 10-05-01

Everything I say is a lie, and I'm lying now! ...We had to destroy Vietnam in order to save it! Our relationship is so secure that I think we could see other people! * whhhhrrr * grind * CORNHOLING APPLICATION SUSPENDED. PROCESSING DATA. Whew! Did you see that? My ability to think "outside the box" just saved my hide-- again! That red robot just came outta nowhere with its gyrating hydraulic-- It's OK! Don't try to talk. But I'm not injured. I know. But have you ever listened to yourself?

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What others say about boorite!

A real friend would tape Buffy to you.

No. I never much liked Buffy. I've had a thing for Willow since first season, though.

I agree about Willow, Alyson Hannigan is cute to a fault. They are running every episode from the beginning on FX. I don't know why, but I actually like the show. I dug the movie too and the tv series has the same kind of tounge in cheek fun that the movie had.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com