This has become one of my favorite animated gifs. Does anybody have a chuck norris one where he is kicking some guy through a piece of glass?

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obscenity filter is off

Thanks! I friend wrote this;

How dare you rhyme in the presence of Chuck Norris!
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01. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

03. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

04. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

05. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

07. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

08. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

09. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

10. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

11. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

12. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

13. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

14. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

15. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

16. Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two.

17. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

18. Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

19. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

20. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

21. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

22. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

23. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

24. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

25. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

26. Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

27. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

28. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

29. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

30. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.

no, but here's the one where he beats the shit out of A New Hope as a toddler

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what if nigger meant kite

Your friend wrote that, Kaenash? It's the Chuck Norris random fact generator. Those facts are actually damn funny though. There's also similar pages for Mr. T and Vin Diesel.

quote:

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He didn't claim it was from there, but that makes sense. Its still all true.

I am going to do a "Movie" in the Movies with Chuck Norris and Brian Boitano teaming up to save the human race. They will have to go in time and beat kublai khan!

I am calling it "Forward to the Past".

I think this might be awesome.

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8===D

that mexican from desperado needs to be in it, you know, the one who plays the stereotypical mexican in EVERY movie

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xx( o Y o. )xx

I watched that entire New Hope Animation....

Who is chuck norris

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I dumb :D

I am going to put "Pedro" from Napoleon dynamite in it, and the real bad guys will be Dick Cheney playing "Hal Burton" with his henchman George W. I downloaded a ton of real audio this week of George Bush, and I am splicing together dialogue for the part that they are in vietnam.

I will call that "Forrest Dump"

For flipynif:

That'll be Danny Trejo.

OMG MORE!! I tried to watch both at the same time.

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I dumb :D

Biped?!

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Yeah, where is taht rascal. Prolly rascalling or rustling cattle

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I dumb :D

Chuck Norris

True Facts About Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits

Chuck Norris has Five Stars on Strip Creator and even his comics kick ass.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. (This was my favorite)

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

Chuck Norris is like the users on the Strip Creator board, except he doesn't suck.

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

Once, Chuck Norris was partying all night, and the sun came up. Chuck Norris didn't want to stop partying, so he made the sun go back down. With his mind.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

CNN was originally the "Chuck Norris Network" but was later changed to a news station because the awesomeness of a Chuck Norris network kept blowing up satellites, TVs, and viewers' eyeballs.

There are two kinds of people in this world: People who are Chuck Norris, and people who are going
to die

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

Chuck Norris once crossed a baby seal lying on the ground injured. He then proceeded to make a delicious sandwich.

Chuck Norris created a circle with corners.

Chuck Norris was told that the Statue of David was the world's best statue. He replied by roundhouse kicking a mountain, the result was a 2,000ft statue of Chuck Norris. He then destroyed it because it was too awesome for anyone but him to see.

Chuck Norris once killed seventeen people with a roll of Scott toilet paper
and remember:Chuck Norris does not grow old. He merely puts on a disguise of a balding head and greying beard

every now and then to lure people into thinking they can take him. Then, he roundhouse kicks them in the face.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death

Chuck Norris invented the C-section when he roundhouse kicked his way into the world.

Chuck Norris is the only person to win an Olympic Gold Medal in swimming without ever getting wet.

One time, Chuck Norris stubbed his toe, and destroyed the whole state of Ohio.

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

Chuck Norris' chest hair has chest hair

Rather then being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead punched his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts abilities. Shortly after the transaction was finished, Chuck roundhous kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should of saw it coming. They now played poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck norris brought a still born baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal had sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck roundhoused kicked the animal breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth and Chuck taketh away.

Chuck Norris's penis tastes better then anything in existence. However, if you attempted to taste it you would die. This has been attempted once and is more commonly referred to as the War of 1812.

Chuck Norris has created a language that incoporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time he's kicking your ass, don't get offended because he may just saying he likes your hat.

Chuck Norris responds

Chuck Norris wrote that response, because kicking us all in the ass would have taken too long.

I am also proud of his literary efforts.

He is unstoppable, because he is the number one karate man.

did anyone see the SNL skit this weekend? it was the worlds best song. "The young chuck norris". They must have been inspired by the internet.
It was a rock video, but it featured Chuck Norris kicking ass. At one point, he goes and stops a mugger and as he is walking back with her purse, he punches the lady in the face too. hehe. Classic.

Only thing funny the entire show.

This guy made fun of Chuck Norris, and seconds later he was snatched from within inches of his life in a Kung Fu Death Grip.

better with sound, if you go here;

http://orange.ytmnd.com/

for the full effect