Hi.

Have you ever "donated" anything?

Now I'm not talking about donating, like donating blood. I'm talking about "donating".

By that I mean "selling".

So have you? Semen, eggs, plasma? Livers?

I ask because I'm going to try to "donate" plasma in a coupla minutes (I have a coupon!) or at least see if I can sign up or something. I don't really know how this works. I'll have a complete report on the situation when I return.

Wish my blood particles luck.

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I was a plama donor for a while bcause I'm immune to tetanus. They used my plasma to make tetanus shots.

They stick a fuckoff huge needle in your arm and you lie there for a bit as they take out blood, spin the plasma out and return your red cells.

Takes at least an hour.

A lot of people assume you're some sort of a street bum if you donate plasma, but you're really helping out a lot of hospital rooms and burn units and they get paid, so you should, too.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

To be fair, most of the people in the waiting room are street bums. There's a frickin' smoking room in the damn place. And it's in a shit-ass neighborhood. I could smell wet cloth and bad food through the vents in my car as I drove through.

That said, I'm poor as fuck. If I donate today I'll have enough to buy gas to visit my dad on his birthday, which is tomorrow. Maybe actually buy a small gift for him as well.

Also, I'm preparing to make my third trip to this fucking place, as the cunts failed to tell me, on several occasions including a phone call, what I actually need to bring in to sign up. Last trip I was getting mail with my address on it, this trip my social security card. This place is less than ten minutes from my house, but it's still enough of a waste of gas that I'll be fucked if they reject me for some reason, til I get paid on Monday.

My sentence structure needs work.

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Yeah, they do get a lot of business from street people but it's a great way to do something useful and pick up some quick cash.

Just wear lots of after shave. :)

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I've been trying to donate plasma for a year, but a previous doctor sent them the wrong file as mine and they won't let me donate because that file says I have multiple personality disorder, OCD, and extreme bipolar. I tried to tell them it wasn't me, but they don't believe me because apparently I'm crazy. And my doctor doesn't know what donating plasma is all about and decided it's better for my mental health if I don't. Because I'm crazy.

Crazy ass.

Who the hell are you, and what have you done with Ivy?

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

I got pretty dizzy the first time I did it. I was afraid of hypodermic needles.

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What others say about boorite!

I love you too, crabby.

I donate blood all the time, but they don't pay us here, unless you count a cup of coffee or a muffin.

I also had someone offer me money for my spleen once, but I said no.

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

I donate my plasma for use in flat screen TV's

Now I know I heard that joke somewhere before...

Yeah, so thanks to database errorage, I wasn't able to post the update when I got back. It took me about three hours to get processed, and I haven't actually donated yet. Good news is I get an extra $5 (five dollars american!) to compensate for being jacked around. I'm going in as soon as I've had some food. I get nauseous pretty easily when I'm hungry.

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Fi dollah?

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

Yes, fie dollah drainy drainy. For a total of $35 the first time, then it goes down some dollars the next coupla times, but then there's some bonuses and things. It's all so confusing.

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What they want to do is get you on a regular donor schedule. You can donate up to twice a week and if you do, the second donation pays more.

You're basically farming out your white cells for a buck, and if you're healthy and they can milk you twice a week, you're a better cow.

I think it would probably be a bit disheartening to do this on a regular basis, but it is a fast way to make a buck and, all in all, you're doing a very useful thing.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I'm hypoglycemic so when they take my blood, I usually dip and wish to pass out. The way I figure it is a little nausea is probably worth it if you can save some chap. Still, I try to make sure my evening is clear when I do it.

We need an SC Blood Drive!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

So I just got back from "PlasmaCare" a.k.a. "Fuckersville"...so they did the normal screening at the beginning, then I PREPARED FOR MY DOOM.
Everything was fine, the needle wasn't nearly as frightening as the bunnyman made it seem, and then shit started to GO DOWN. After the first five minutes or so, I got light-headed, naseous, and sweaty. I felt like I was going to pass out. The arm I was supposed to be flexing went almost completely numb, and the other one was tingling.
I called for the "nurse" (she informed me that her previous job was in custom drapery), and her and another woman put cold packs and wet paper towels in strategic places upon my person. The started putting the red blood cells back, and after a bit my condition started to improve.
They said I was getting my color back, which I had been sad to lose as I'm already a sub-par dancer.
I feel almost normal now. If I had to guess, I'd say I'm running on about 80hp.
The verdict was not enough calcium. To which I replied, "Oh fuck no, you did not just say that shit to me," but not really.
They gave me $20 instead of the expected $35, which means that I can still go to my parents' house, but with no gift for Dad. Ah well.

Mr. Myers, I salute your idea! I hereby pledge to give the total profits of my next visit to Brad, which he may use to feed a homeless child and donerate my ass. What? There are no homeless children in Canasia, land of the verdant plains? Buy some beer then.

If I renege on my promise, I grant my permission to all users that they may mock my comics and toast to my enemies' health.
Oh wait, that already happens.

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No, the needles aren't really scary. I used to have to adjust my own sticks because they couldn't find my veins for shit.

I stick a needle in myself twice a day, but a much smaller one, so.. it's all subjective.

Those "nurses", by the way, are pretty much just hack phlebotomists - ergo me having to reset my own sticks - or community college medical assistant types who aspire to nursing degrees. It aint Johns Hopkins, meng.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

quote:

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I donate blood all the time, but they don't pay us here, unless you count a cup of coffee or a muffin.

I also had someone offer me money for my spleen once, but I said no.

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Yeah, same thing happened to me. They gave me sugar water.

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What others say about boorite!

They gave me three Tums®, for the calcium apparently.

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I would have assumed it was for the heart burn.

The only thing that makes my heart burn are your contributions to this thread.

Poopass.

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