favorite Maura strips.

Personally, I love using Maura since she has the greatest number of facial expression (second only to that master thespian Tobor). She the favorite female character to use in romantic situations, and she has been paired up with all the male characters. [Except for Gabe and Dexx, but come on would you wish that on your worst enemy?]

So let the Maura retrospective begin.

I'm not saying she's a whore, but... by israphael 10-04-01

All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small.. all things wise and wonderful... Maura's laid them all...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

"This sentence is not true" and other Zen Koans by ObiJo 2-09-01

I don't like jokes that are at all racial. I also don't like jokes deprecating women, or making fun of the Lord our God. If you listen hard enough, you can just make out the rubbery sound as my sphincter muscles tighten.

I'm always down for a vanity thread. Plus, I figured if I posted this here, maybe Dr. Pedantic would show up and tell me how to spell "Coen" since I just winged it.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

The Adventures of Holobabe I by Spankling 5-29-01

Holobabe - a hologram looking to upgrade her transmitters has turned to prostitution. New in town, honey? Wanna party? Are you nuts? This place is crawling with cops! I'm telling one of them you're pulling tricks over here! Damn! I was sure that lezbo looked hard up! You da whore? Come with me. I got $20 and half a bottle of Maddog says you can't take on the entire squad in the back of that paddy wagon. Score!

I'll always have a dark soft spot in my pants for Holobabe. Possibly my worst work.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Would you settle for Dr. Kaufman? koan

Unless you really meant a Zen Coen: What is the sound of one hand in the wood chipper?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

"Koan".

Too bad her boyfriend is made out of metal by evil_d 3-01-01

Hello. I'm the clip-art representation of this strip's author, or, well, any strip's author, really. Maura is pretty hot, even if she is pixellated. I'll bet she's got guys lining up around the block. Hi there, handsome. Wanna lie down and do stuff we can't be shown doing in-panel? Okay... oohh.... ...mmmmmm... ...hey... this is great! Check it out, everyone! I'm having sex in a comic strip! Not if you keep giving them the play-by-play, you're not.

I'm actually not as huge a fan of Maura as everyone else seems to be. I wrote this after reading another vaguely similar strip, but I can't remember who its author was, or anything else about it.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Maura, Maura, Maura!

Tuesdays with Mauras #2 by kaufman 6-26-01

Back, finally! Sorry about the absence, but stripcreator was down two weeks ago, and last week, the author just plain forgot. Cripes, he'd forget where his head was if it weren't Krazy-Glued on. Don't let that get you down. We're back, and we have a most interesting strip today. For crying out loud, cut to the chase -- we've already blown half of it on the intro materials. Get over it, what's done is done. Let's just start over. Hello, and welcome back to Tuesdays with Mauras. Today, if we have time, we'll be interviewing ... Maura!

I've only made two in this series so far; the constant rules being that they only get made on a Tuesday, and they must feature all six faces of Maura. The first wasn't so funny, so you get #2 here. Oh, and also the second in the series.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

cc45: Xtremely Bad Sports by NastyPope 7-17-01

Greetings everyone I'm Maura Oberlund, I'd like to welcome you all to the 5th anal, haha, I meant, ANNUAL Xtreme Felching World Championships Our first event is the harrowing yet strangely fullfilling 'Meat_in_your_Seat' Competition. Our first competitor is Ivan Yakanov from Russia Oh my LORD I can't believe what i've just witnessed. I've not seen that much Kielbasa disappear into a person since that Japanese kid ate all those hotdogs. I'd have to agree Maura, that was a singularly impressive display of rectal fortitude. While the judges tally the scores, let's get a word from our sponsors. Raaaaar, if there is one thing Tobor knows, its Manrape, and when Tobor is about to cornhole you, Tobor recommends a fistful of Cherry_Flavored_Anal_Eaze®

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

The Sims: Gynecological Expansion Pack by NastyPope 7-29-01

Wow, Gina, you look like you're in pain. What seems to be the problem ? If you really must know, Paliacci, its that time of the month and I'm out of tampons. Oh, I see. Well in my home country of Italy, our women are a bit more... how shall I say it... robust. So they roll their own. Oh, wonderful, and where am I to get the material, fat boy ? You could use an old shirt, a stack of bandaids, Mittens the Cat, or my shoe. Pretty much anything with a string or tail should work.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

It seems that slutty bitch weaseled her way into a strip about my fight with a postage vending machine:

Inescapable Computer Logic by itsclark 10-08-01

Real life adventures at the Post Office: One book of stamps costs $6.80. You currently have $5.00 credit. So... a dollar bill plus 80 cents in loose change. Sorry. Temporarily not accepting dollar bills. What!? I don't have $1.80 in coins! Might as well take my $5 back. Sorry. No change given without purchase! Screw you, Charles Babbage!

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

One of my favourite Maura strips.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

And this one:

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

"Koan".

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Ah, thank you both. Finding the spelling of that word has seriously pissed me off for months. I was just far enough away from the spelling that dictionary.com didn't list the correct alternative. Argl.

I still think that's the best use of Maura2 I've ever seen.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.