Here is a set of correspondence between myself and the email-based tech support service for PeoplePC:

>> >----Original Message----
>> >> From: umfumdisi
>> >> To: tech.support@peoplepc.com
>> >> Subject: PeoplePC Home Page Freeze [Ref:4273375]
>> >> Date: 6 March 2006, 23:43 Hrs.
>> >>
>> >> When I connect to PeoplePC, the Home Page shows up for a half-second
>> before
>> >> disappearing.
>> >> Then, the page becomes inactive and eventually quits responding
(says
>> "(Not
>> >> Responding)
>> >> when I Ctrl/Alt/Del to End Task).
>> >>
>> >> I can still access the Internet, but my overall accelerator performance
>> >> seems slow.
>> >> And, when I try accessing "My Account" from the PPC
Home Page (after
>> >> opening
>> >> the link via the system tray), I can not login for some reason.
>> >>
>> >> I don't know if these problems are related, but I would appreciate
any
>> help
>> >> or
>> >> advice you can give. I am running Windows 98SE and IE 6.0.2800.1106IC.
>> >>
>> >> Thank You,
>> >> Todd G

[hr]

>> -----Original Message-----
>> >From: tech.support@peoplepc.com
>> >Sent: Mar 7, 2006 5:19 AM
>> >To: ctgable99@peoplepc.com
>> >Subject: Re: PeoplePC Home Page Freeze [Ref:4273375]
>> >
>> >Dear Todd,
>> >
>> >Thank you for writing to PeoplePC Online.
>> >
>> >Regarding your concern, we recommend that you reinstall the PeoplePC
>> Online software. You can reinstall our software while connected with our
>> dialer. Just connect to the internet and go to
>> http://getsoftware.peoplepc.com
>> >
>> >This is an effective and easy way to upgrade to our newest version.
>> >
>> >Alternatively, you may use PeoplePC CD to download the software. To
order
>> a PeoplePC CD, please call us at 1-866-PPC-MBRS (1-866-772-6277). Our Sales
>> department is available 7 days a week from 7 A.M. to 2 A.M. EST. Please
>> note that you will receive your PeoplePC CD within 5-7 business days.
>> >
>> >Please be advised that our installation process (when not connected)
first
>> uninstalls any previous version of software that you may have downloaded.
>> >
>> >In regards to your connection problem, please note that you should
be
>> seeing an average of 3X acceleration using PeoplePC Online Accelerated,
>> with some pages appearing up to 5X faster. To improve your surfing speeds,
>> try a higher Graphics Acceleration setting such as Level 4 or 5. Also,
we
>> recommend you to try the following:
>> >
>> >Step 1 - Check modem speed
>> >1) Click on Start.
>> >2) Go to Settings.
>> >3) Click on Control Panel.
>> >4) Double Click on Modems Icon.
>> >5) Click on Properties.
>> >6) Make sure Maximum Speed is 57600.
>> >7) Click on Connection tab
>> >8) Make sure "Disconnect a call if idle for more than..."
is unchecked
>> >9) Click on "Port Settings" button
>> >10) Lower the buffers one notch each.
>> >11) Click on the OK button
>> >12) Click on the OK button
>> >
>> >Step 2 - Disable Screen Saver
>> >1) Right click on the background of your desktop.
>> >2) Left Click on Properties.
>> >3) Click on the Screensaver tab.
>> >4) From the dropdown box, select none for your screensaver.
>> >5) Click on OK.
>> >
>> >This will disable your screensaver so the next step will work correctly
>> >
>> >Step 3- Defragment Your Hard Drive
>> >1) Click on Start.
>> >2) Go up to Programs.
>> >3) Go over to Accessories.
>> >4) Go Over to System Tools.
>> >5) Go Over to and click on Disk Defragmenter.
>> >6) Make sure it is set to C: drive.
>> >7) Click OK.
>> >
>> >This is a very long process but it will clean up your computer. If
you try
>> to use any programs while running disk Defragmenter the program will start
>> over again. This program could anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours
>> depending on how many files are on your system.
>> >
>> >In regards to your last concern, we would request you to please expand
on
>> your concern and provide us the exact error message that you are getting,
>> if any. Once we have the information, we would be more than happy to assist
>> you.
>> >
>> >Thanks again for writing.
>> >
>> >All the best
>> >Naveen
>> >One of the people at PeoplePC Online
>> >tech.support@peoplepc.com

[hr]

>----Original Message----
>> From: umfumdisi
>> To: tech.support@peoplepc.com
>> Subject: Re: PeoplePC Home Page Freeze [Ref:4273375]
>> Date: 29 March 2006, 23:40 Hrs.
>>
>> Okay, I used the link for reinstalling PPC accelerated provided below,
and
>> I have
>> not seen any different results from my initially reported problem (which
is
>> included
>> under the tech response).
>>
>> So, I went to find information about how to use PPC Accelerated and
>> discovered
>> these statements:
>>
>> "Starting and Restarting PeoplePC Accelerated
>>
>> PeoplePC Accelerated is designed to be available at all times. A small
>> white PeoplePC icon appears in the Windows area near the clock at the
>> bottom of your screen (also known as your system tray) when PeoplePC
>> Accelerated is running. If PeoplePC Accelerated is not already running,
you
>> can start the program from the Windows Start menu.
>>
>> Programs -> PeoplePC Accelerated -> Start PeoplePC Accelerated"
>>
>> from the following page:
>>
>> http://home.peoplepc.com/helpinfo/accelerator/UsingAccelerator/default.asp.
>>
>> I have no such "small white icon" in my system tray. My icon
is blue.
>> Apparently I am not operating an accelerated version of the PeoplePC
>> software at all. I switched back to PPC because I was unsatisfied with
>> my Netscape experience, and I was offered PPC Accelerator included
>> at the same price I had paid before for basic PPC service.
>>
>> Imagine my frustration.
>>
>> Should I call customer service and request a new installation disc?
>> Or should I call technical support and try to uncover the problem?
>> Please be advised that a folder for PPC Accelerated does appear
>> in my program files. However, PPC Accelerated does NOT appear
>> in the list of my Start Menu programs. Again, all of this comes after
>> I reinstalled the software as suggested. Please advise.
>>
>> Thank You,
>> Todd G

[hr]

-----Original Message-----
>From: tech.support@peoplepc.com
>Sent: Mar 30, 2006 6:37 AM
>To: ctgable99@peoplepc.com
>Subject: Re: PeoplePC Home Page Freeze [Ref:4273375]
>
>Dear Todd,
>
>Thank you for writing to PeoplePC Online.
>
>Regarding your concern, according to our database you have already upgraded
to Accelerated service. If Accelerated is not installed properly on your computer,
we would suggest you to download the software from the link given below:
>
>https://www.peoplepc.com/accountTools/downloadAccelerator.asp
>
>If PeoplePC Accelerated Accelerator is installed but you do not see the PeoplePC
Accelerated Accelerator icon in the taskbar, you can make it active from the Windows
Start menu:
>
>Start -> Programs -> PeoplePC Accelerated Accelerator -> Start PeoplePC
Accelerated Accelerator
>
>In case of any other concern, please contact us and we will be more than happy
to assist you.
>
>Thanks again for writing.
>
>All the best
>Prakash
>One of the people at PeoplePC Online
>tech.support@peoplepc.com

[hr]

Obviously, you have not paid attention to anything I have written.
Please READ the entire set of correspodence below before offering
any more suggestions which, as I have already stated, do NOT work.

I'll repeat these things just in case you choose to NOT reread the email.
From my first email:
">> >> I can still access the Internet, but my overall accelerator
performance
>> >> seems slow.
>> >> And, when I try accessing "My Account" from the PPC
Home Page (after
>> >> opening
>> >> the link via the system tray), I can not login for some reason."

So, first, we have established that I can not login to certain areas. Thus, the
link you provided below: https://www.peoplepc.com/accountTools/downloadAccelerator.asp
does nothing for me. I have tried logging in from the authorization page with all
of the various
options selected and unselected. I do not receive any error messages -- only the
same page
directing me to sign in. So, that option will not work in my current situation.

Secondly, I know that I have Accelerator service according to your database,
but it is not active. Nor can I login to Account Tools to download the software
(as explained in detail above).

Thirdly, your other suggestion:
">If PeoplePC Accelerated Accelerator is installed but you do not see the
PeoplePC Accelerated Accelerator icon in the taskbar, you can make it active from
the Windows Start menu:
>
>Start -> Programs -> PeoplePC Accelerated Accelerator -> Start PeoplePC
Accelerated Accelerator"

was useless before you typed it. As I had written in my previous email:

"PPC Accelerated does NOT appear
>> in the list of my Start Menu programs. Again, all of this comes after
>> I reinstalled the software as suggested. Please advise."

Finally, I can only conclude that PeoplePC's email tech support "service"
is
designed to do nothing except frustrate its cutomers and coerce them into
calling the actual technical support line which, as I understand, is not a free
service.

Thanks for nothing,
Todd G

[hr]
[hr]

So, I'll have to wait and see what their response will be now. I would call the Tech Support line, but I'm not very confident that would help -- especially after all this crap.

It's highly frustrating because I have tried all of their suggestions (even knowing aforehand that they would not be successful), yet they seemingly refuse to acknowledge the information I provide.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Naveen is not sitting in front of a QWERTY keyboard. He is sitting in front of a panel with 5 buttons, each of which generates a different customer service e-mail. These buttons have no writing on them but are color-coded.

---
What others say about boorite!

it pisses me off when they do that. not only does it rid them of accontability, it actually rewards them for a poor quality product. :\

post their reply to your last email when you get it. probably be something like 'make sure your monitor is on'

---
what if nigger meant kite

Sounds like my experience with HP customer support. That's when I learned that they have scripts for small talk.

In stilted robot voice:

"How are you doing? How was work today? What are you having for dinner? How are your kids?"

They didn't understand when I responded:

"Fucking annoyed at your piece of shit computer. It sucks away my soul (still at Wal-Mart). A pile of cheap crap because even though this crappy computer cost next to nothing, I still had to spend three months of income on it. My kids all died in a car crash."

I swear the tech support guy was going "Does not compute."

Customer Service

[IMG]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/boorite/040.jpg[/IMG]

---
What others say about boorite!

Thank you for your support, boorite. :)

Well, this time I got Gary instead of Naveen or Pakrat. Maybe that means he could actually read my letter. Looks like he's at least covering all the bases, as well as his ass.

However, his first suggestion is complete shit. You have to select/update the access numbers when you install the software. Since I did that a couple of days ago, I doubt doing it again will actually help. Some of his later suggestions do sound useful, though. We'll see.

[hr]

Dear Todd,

Thank you for writing to PeoplePC Online.

Regarding your concern about slow Acceleration, we would suggest you to change the
local access numbers. The dial up numbers we have for you are updated weekly and
can be found at the following link: http://www.peoplepc.com/join_ppc/internet_access.asp

Check back with us periodically, we hope to have more numbers available in your
area soon. When selecting access numbers, please check with your local phone company
to make sure that the number you select to connect to the Internet is a toll-free
call, as PeoplePC is not responsible for long distance charges you may incur.

To change the local access number, please follow the steps given below:

1. Find the "Dial in to the Internet"/"PeoplePC Online" icon
on your desktop and double click it.
2. Select the location that you want to update from your drop down menu. Then click
"Modify this location".
3. Select the local area from where you will be dialing.
4. Add any special prefixes or suffixes to your phone numbers.
5. Highlight cities or individual numbers from the list on the left, and click the
"Add>>" button to include them in your final list. You can also
highlight numbers from the Selected Numbers list on the right, and click the ">" when
you're done.
6. Review the numbers that you selected. They will be dialed exactly as they appear.
You may wish to check with your local phone company to confirm that these re local
calls. Don't forget to check the Usage Agreement box. Then click "Finish."

In regards to your other concern about unable to login to your account information,
please check the settings on the browser to make sure that they are configured properly.

Checking Browser Settings.
First, your browser must support cookies, small text files that allow your browser
to store information on websites you have visited. You must enable the cookies option
before you sign in.

To enable cookies:

In Internet Explorer 6.x
1. In Internet Explorer, on the "Tools" menu, click "Internet Options."
a) Open the "Privacy" tab.
b) Using the slider, select the security zone "Always Accept Cookies".
-or-
a) Click the "Advanced" button. If "Override Automatic Cookie Handling"
is selected, confirm that first party cookies and third party cookies are set to
accept.
b) Click "OK".

In Internet Explorer 5.x:
1. On the "Tools" menu, click "Internet Options"
a) On the "Security" tab click "Internet Zone"
b) Select a security level of "Medium" or lower
-or-
a) Click "Custom Level", scroll to the "Cookies" section, and
select the "Enable" check box for both cookie options.

In other browsers, such as Netscape: To check if your browser supports cookies and
for detailed instructions about how to enable this feature, we would request you
to go through the online Help for your browser.

Note: If you see a message notifying you that a Web site is trying to send you a
cookie when you try to sign in, you should choose to continue or you will not be
able to sign in.

Second, your browser must support secure connections (often called SSL, or Secure
Socket Layer), and the option setting must be set for enable in order for you to
be able to view web sites that have secure settings.

In Internet Explorer 6.x
1. On the "Tools" menu, click "Internet Options," and then click
"Advanced."
2. Scroll to the "Security" section.
3. Confirm that all of the "Use SSL" check boxes are selected.

In Internet Explorer 5.x:
1. On the "Tools" menu, click "Internet Options".
2. On the "Advanced" tab, scroll to the "Security" section.
3. Select all of the "Use SSL" check boxes (five and six rows up from
the bottom).

This should resolve your problem. If the problem still persists, please feel free
to contact us and we will be more than happy to assist you.

Thanks again for writing.

All the best,
Gary
One of the people at PeoplePC Online.
tech.support@peoplepc.com

[hr]

Now I'm thinking I should reply something like:

"GARY!! HELP!!!

Now my entire OS has stopped working. What in God's name have you done?!?! I just wanted a little acceleration, and now everything's ruined! :*("

Of course, I'd have to send that email from someone else's computer, but it could be done.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Having had to work in a call center a while back as punishment for being too lazy to get a real job, and having no money to buy beer, I have to say that sounds pretty standard. I confessed I actually knew how to turn on a computer, which meant I aced the interview with flying colours.

Essentially email support is the cushy part of call center set up, the poor souls (including me) were the ones who had to answer the telephone. Its not a nice job, which is why theres no-one there who will even remotely be able to help you, since theyve all left or have committed suicide.

Think of them more as appeasers, they know little more than you, and their 'expertise' comes from a sheet of paper telling them how to deal with x,y and z. The answers given to you are carbon copies from their 'knowledge base'. On the phones theres a little button on the phone that says terminate, which ends the call, however even this is monitored by unscrupulous managers , so theres no way out except to fob you off with the crap. The Team Leaders by the way have as much humanity as a nazi at a kkk meeting. More likely than not this particluar 'help desk' (and I use that phrase loosely) is based in India, and Gary (or Gareesh, as hes probably more commonly known) is working for a couple of rupees a day, and dreaming of the time when he will become the unscrupulous manager with the big whip. I'll give you a typical example of his day - read, copy, paste, repeat.
Imagine doing that over and over and over again.

Incidentally just to give you the flavour of a typical call center I lasted a month in, sheer incompetance on the parts of your fellow employees was to be expected, although there were a couple of people like me who were more skilled but due to circumstances just needed a bit of money, so essentially it was lucky dip as to whether the callers problem got solved. The plebs have people known as 'product specialists' whom they talk to when they put you on hold. These people are essentially the ones who made it through the torture of the job into a more cushy off the phones job (a sort of dream for the call center plebs to aspire to, although nobody does actually make it, its a myth to keep you working hard, a carrot on a string so to speak), then there are the team leaders. These are the people who know absolutely nothing about computers, but are good at bullying people and so are put on monitoring phones so they can listen into you at any point. Also all statistics are taken, such as time taken on call, length of break, clocking in time, clocking out time. You are treated like a battery farm chicken, expected to lay so many eggs a day. There is absolutely no redeeming features about the job whatsoever, even the momentary pleasure in actually helping a caller is forgotton when you have to deal with the most irate gimp imaginable on the next call, and the calls never stop, theres no way of making them stop.

As I said I lasted a month, which was long enough to empaphise with every call center since, and meant I could get through that particular christmas in one piece.
The reason I left, aside from deciding Id rather starve than waste my life working for a little bit over minimum wage on a job that was so soul destroying it was like theyd gotten the blueprint to hell and said, 'yep thats the job description we're looking for'
They made me go to a disiplinary meeting when I took an authorised day off (a disciplinary meeting!), not like 'oh Briggs said you could take the day off then thats fine just let us know next time', more 'Lets all sit down and lets work through the failure in the departmental comunication policies and see if we can come to a resolution, just to make sure we know where the fault is', to be honest I didnt mind the hearing, as it was just a skive off the phones. Also the first week I worked there I was totally on the bread line, and they paid my money into someone elses account! I left shortly after the hearing, stating Id rather lick tramps shoes for a living than work like that ever again.

Gary, by the way, is having his mailbox monitored, and has a target of x emails an hour, besides not knowing the answer, he simply wouldnt have the time even if he did to reply to you properly without getting the whip in his back.

Tech Support Ivy, AOL by ivytheplant 11-13-03

I used to work for AOL tech support. It was the worst job I ever had. Naturally, it left me with much StripCreator fodder. Pretend this is in a call center. Welcome to AOL customer support, my name is Ivy, how may I help you? Um...yeah...my AOL CD isn't working. It just makes funny noises. On our computers is a list of questions we have to ask, in order, depending on the problem. Sir, could you check and make sure your CD is insterted properly? The label needs to be facing up. Oh. Facing UP you say? I used to skip over questions I thought weren't needed cause after all, people aren't THAT stupid. Then I lost all faith in humanity. Yes sir. I didn't want to scratch the shiny side. Are you sure it will be okay?

Random Comic! What They Do While You're on Hold by Scyess 4-05-06

Hello, tech support? Windows crashes whenever I open Internet Explorer. I see. Please hold. **beep boop boop bop beep** Hello, tech support? Windows crashes whenever I open Internet Explorer. I see. Please hold.

---
"Old" is the old new.

hopefully both in the latter case

i used to work at a call center too and my supervisor used to get mad at me for asking questions like 'did that fix the problem?' because that took up time that could be better spent not asking other callers the same question

---
what if nigger meant kite

maybe time for a new ISP?

---
Kill Whitey.

Yikes. I figured it was bad -- just not that bad.

I've had to begin other support calls by repeating "I've already done that," many times before the supporter finally got the message that I wasn't a typical moron. It shouldn't be that hard distinguishing between capable and hapless callers.

It doesn't help that the bosses stress quantity over quality. What kind of business model is that when you're dealing with "helping" people? Apparently, it's the typcial one. Sad.

Maybe this will all clear up when I soon upgrade to XP...

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I helped to invent a system that used predictive modeling to determine likely reasons callers were calling into my call center to have their loan serviced.

This would then generate a script that would be used by someone in India to go over the problem.

We made them use american sounding names, so someone might answer as "Ace Maverick" (because having only "Top Gun" movies, they thought this would sound american).

Calls went like this
ACE: "Are you calling about your insurance today, sir?"

CALLER: "um, I am a woman and no I am not"

ACE: "I see, my apologies for this."
(apologize is something they have to do for everything) randomly clicks around on the screen for the next one.
"Would it be Property Taxes?"

CALLER: "No, I am calling to make a payment"

ACE: "Ah, I see..let me update my database"
At this point, something would be entered to help the predictive modeler in the future for this caller. The caller would naturally have to wait.

ACE: "You say you are calling to make a payment?"
(Verification)

CALLER: "Um Yeah...that is what I said"

and it would go like this through a script to set up the payment arrangements.

The idea was, we have your house, and so it doesn't matter if the call takes longer. We paid this human voice box to repeat what we told them to repeat nearly pennies an hour, and using VOIP, basically the call can take forever. We didn't even try to optimize our schedule to meet call volume. We just put as many people as would show up on the phones.

Eventually though, they outsourced me out of a job (to India).

That's the drawback of being a corporate whore.. eventually, you're on the street with the bitches you helped turn out.

Thieves.. fuck.. everybody, if you let them and helping them just makes you easier to fuck later.

If all the people structuring outsourcing logistics all quit.. shit.. These guys can't even type...

:^[

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I knew the company would do it. But yep, it left me with a real concern about our economy, not one based on fears that mexicans will steal all the grape picking jobs.