TheGovernor
Talentless Hack
Member Rated:

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As Im too lazy, and Christians are an easy target (except when they have access to nukes) I'll give you a few Guv oldies to enjoy.
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| Jesus you gotta do something about Easter, I dont think people understand the meaning anymore, and frankly the image of a bunny rabbit giving out chocolate eggs isn't helping. | |
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| Hmm maybe it is time for a change, we've been letting this religion go a bit off on one lately haven't we? | |
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| You know how it is, we've had a good run, but Im afraid Im gonna have to let you go as my official death spokesman, sorry mate, its just not working out anymore. | |
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| Best make yourself scarce Santa, the big man's just sacked me, and I think he's still looking to make cuts | |
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| Shit, I hate corporate restructuring. | |
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Jesus Inc hold interviews to fill the vacant Easter slot
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| Im here about your vacancy in the Easter Department | |
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| *sigh* sorry Death I dont think your people skills are quite up to the standard the post requires | |
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I sincerly appologise for the shameless use of Brad Pitt to further the plot of this comic
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| The first rule of Easter is that you do not talk about Easter...The Second rule.. | |
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| I Be the Easter Pirate ARRR! | |
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| Damn, maybe change isnt the best thing after all | |
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| Hey Priest I dont think this change is working out, none of the applicants have the pinache or social nous that that rabbit had, im seriously tempted to hire him back | |
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| maybe in this spiritually devoid world the image of a rabbit with a basket of chocolate eggs is just the thing we need to snap the nations youth towards religious matters, I'l go try and find him | |
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Meanwhile the interviews continue
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| Well I think I should get the job because my practical skills such as laying eggs seem to fit with the overall profile of the post | |
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| Well you're the best candidate so far, but we'll get back to you | |
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Without the steady income of a corporate job, Bunny has fallen on hard times
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| My god I never thought it would come to this, Im sorry Bunny, clean yourself up and we'll hire you back, its the only christian thing to do | |
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| Well It was this or working at McDonalds, and well I do still have standards you know | |
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| Ok bunny, Ive had a word with my old man, and we are prepared to hire you back, maybe with a 10 percent increase in wages dependant on perfomance this year | |
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| Well Im glad thats sorted out. But you know whats really been bugging me, why we have a Jolly fat guy in a red suit breaking into homes to give presents to young children to represent my birthday? | |
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| Yeah I've always found that rather odd, and maybe the picture of an old man favouring children is an image the church could do with getting away from. | |
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| I think the gig is up. You got much put away Brian? Im essentially screwed no-ones hiring old fat guys any more. | |
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| Ive heard of a guy in Zimbabwe who has 20 million dollars he needs to get out of the country so Ive given him my bank details and waiting for him to get back to me. I'll let you in on it if you like | |
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and the oft forgotten classic;
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Jesus Ponders his last words
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| Hmm, lets see, it has to be pithy, yet easy to remember... | |
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| Has to give my death meaning, yet be original,, wait, Ive got it!!! | |
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