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HotRodDeathToll
Satanoscillatemymetallicsonatas

Member Rated:

Easter Comic by HotRodDeathToll
4-15-06
Since the real Easter bunny has contracted bird flu I am going to have to give you the duty of handing out chocolate eggs to the children
It is a privelage, Jesus.
Make sure you only give out the eggs to Christian kids and kids without braces because they're not alowed to have sugar.
Sure!
Also remember to look both ways when crossing a road and to pick up your coat the way out.
Yeah whatever, "Mum"

---
The dictator of love and his weapon of mass destruction

4-15-06 2:52am (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

Easter Of The Dead by biped
10-08-05
Mommy! Let's go pick up my pretty new Easter dress now!
I'm sorry, sweetheart...but as long as the flesh-eating zombies are surrounding the house, we can't go anywhere.
Boy, Dad, I can't wait to go see the Cubs play today! Sure hope they hit a --
Son, the living dead... remember? Besides, according to ESPN, most of the Cubs are cannibalistic walking corpses by now.
Stupid zombies! I HATE the living dead!
Me too, Sis! They've totally ruined Easter weekend!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

4-15-06 3:17am (new)
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AngryAmerican
Here at least 3 times a year

Member Rated:

its pretty lame, but then again so is Easter.
hope all have a great big dinner heavy on the swine, hold the matza. i will be taking part in my usual Easter activity of drinking too much and planning domestic terrorism in strict accordance with my white supremicist upbringing.
all hail Jesus the best damn zombie god anyone could ask for!

Jesus hates Easter by AngryAmerican
4-15-06
"JESUS. THIS IS YOUR FATHER. ITS TIME TO GET UP."
Awww Dad, just let me sleep for a few more days...
"NO! YOU HAVE SEVERAL BILLION SOULS TO SAVE. AND COUNTLESS SINS TO ABSOLVE. WAKEY-WAKEY.
But i alredy died for everyone's sins, what more do you want me to do?
"WELL NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT THE LAWN NEEDS MOWED, AND I NEED YOU TO CLEAN OUT THE GARAGE SO I CAN PUT MY NEW ESCALADE IN THERE. CHOP. CHOP!"
There better be a hollow chocolate bunny in it for me. And maybe some peanut butter eggs...

---
Kill Whitey.

4-15-06 10:29am (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


choadwarrior
Crash Magnet

Member Rated:

Hallelujah by choadwarrior
4-14-06
Henceforth, this day shall be known as Good Friday.
What's so good about getting whipped, made to wear a crown of thorns, paraded through the streets...
...getting your hands and feet nailed to a cross, and stabbed in the side?
At least I got the day off.

Here are two Easter-related strips I made when a publisher I know said he'd never hire me for his magazine because my (early) strips were too controversial...

I can write safe strips too (1 of 2) by choadwarrior
5-04-03
In an effort to get published, here's a censored strip...
Father, please tell me a story about Jesus.
Here's one...Jesus rode ---- --------- ----
--- --- an -------- ass
---- -- ----- --- ---- into --- ---- -- town
Nice.
on Palm Sunday.

I can write safe strips too (2 of 2) by choadwarrior
5-04-03
Okay, I cant stand it...here's the uncensored version:
Father, please tell me a story about Jesus.
Here's one...Jesus rode Mary Magdelene hard
She had an enormous ass
that he stuck his cock into and went to town
I like this story better.
Nice.
on Palm Sunday.

4-15-06 11:24am (new)
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AngryAmerican
Here at least 3 times a year

Member Rated:

damn fine job, choady.....

---
Kill Whitey.

4-15-06 8:04pm (new)
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TheGovernor
Talentless Hack

Member Rated:

As Im too lazy, and Christians are an easy target (except when they have access to nukes) I'll give you a few Guv oldies to enjoy.

Jesus Inc by TheGovernor
1-02-03
Jesus you gotta do something about Easter, I dont think people understand the meaning anymore, and frankly the image of a bunny rabbit giving out chocolate eggs isn't helping.
Hmm maybe it is time for a change, we've been letting this religion go a bit off on one lately haven't we?
Later...
You know how it is, we've had a good run, but Im afraid Im gonna have to let you go as my official death spokesman, sorry mate, its just not working out anymore.
Best make yourself scarce Santa, the big man's just sacked me, and I think he's still looking to make cuts
Shit, I hate corporate restructuring.

Jesus Inc: Easter Vacancy by TheGovernor
1-05-03
Jesus Inc hold interviews to fill the vacant Easter slot
Im here about your vacancy in the Easter Department
*sigh* sorry Death I dont think your people skills are quite up to the standard the post requires
I sincerly appologise for the shameless use of Brad Pitt to further the plot of this comic
The first rule of Easter is that you do not talk about Easter...The Second rule..
NEXT!
The interviews continue
I Be the Easter Pirate ARRR!
Damn, maybe change isnt the best thing after all

Jesus Inc: Redemption by TheGovernor
1-05-03
Hey Priest I dont think this change is working out, none of the applicants have the pinache or social nous that that rabbit had, im seriously tempted to hire him back
maybe in this spiritually devoid world the image of a rabbit with a basket of chocolate eggs is just the thing we need to snap the nations youth towards religious matters, I'l go try and find him
Meanwhile the interviews continue
Well I think I should get the job because my practical skills such as laying eggs seem to fit with the overall profile of the post
Well you're the best candidate so far, but we'll get back to you
Without the steady income of a corporate job, Bunny has fallen on hard times
My god I never thought it would come to this, Im sorry Bunny, clean yourself up and we'll hire you back, its the only christian thing to do
Well It was this or working at McDonalds, and well I do still have standards you know

Jesus Inc: Epilogue by TheGovernor
1-05-03
Ok bunny, Ive had a word with my old man, and we are prepared to hire you back, maybe with a 10 percent increase in wages dependant on perfomance this year
great.
Well Im glad thats sorted out. But you know whats really been bugging me, why we have a Jolly fat guy in a red suit breaking into homes to give presents to young children to represent my birthday?
Yeah I've always found that rather odd, and maybe the picture of an old man favouring children is an image the church could do with getting away from.
I think the gig is up. You got much put away Brian? Im essentially screwed no-ones hiring old fat guys any more.
Ive heard of a guy in Zimbabwe who has 20 million dollars he needs to get out of the country so Ive given him my bank details and waiting for him to get back to me. I'll let you in on it if you like

and the oft forgotten classic;

Good Friday by TheGovernor
4-18-03
Jesus Ponders his last words
Hmm, lets see, it has to be pithy, yet easy to remember...
Has to give my death meaning, yet be original,, wait, Ive got it!!!
I'll BE BACK!

4-16-06 5:22am (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

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