HBO and the Lifetime channel love putting crappy made for TV movies in prime time slots. The latest 'disaster' movies rake in millions of viewers who are too stupid to figure out that bird flu doesn't turn people into zombies and earthquakes can't be 10.5 magnitude without ripping the Earth in half. Meanwhile, so-called documentaries about famous figures mix psuedo-facts with Hollywood special effects teams to produce female presidents who are really vampire cyborgs and a crime fighting Jesus.

You can do better than that. Bring to me the world's worst Made For TV Movie, in all it's low budget splendor. Any premise is acceptable, and all the basic rules apply.

Judging will begin at some point.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

WW49: Made For Tv Grump-a-Thon by crabby 5-23-06

I know we've been together for 3 years now, but I need to come clean. I'm really a man. Are you serious? Yes and I'm also adopted and I'm leaving for Arizona in the morning to find my birth mom and dad. ... Whats wrong? I AM YOUR BIRTH MOTHER IDIOT!

WW 49: Special Blend by PrimoOoze1138 5-23-06

From the creators of the superhit "The Librarian" comes the ultimate in thrilling TV! Hey, they don't serve your kind in here! No, jackass. I work here. And MY kind serves THIS kind in here. It's a french roast. Adam Goldberg is... Oh. "Coffeeshop Douchebag!" *sip*

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Thar's a snake in mah boot!

WW 49: "Bobby:A Portrait In Courage" by biped 5-23-06

The tests are conclusive, Mrs. Buttsoresky. I'm afraid it's...it's... What? WHAT? TELL ME! It's...terminal... butthole rash. No! NO! NOT MY BOBBY! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ..but even though he suffers from (choke) terminal... butthole rash... Bobby managed to make the CHESS TEAM! Bobby, stand up--oh, you are standing up.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

i started this kina figuring what would've happened if star trek had been popular when it was actually still airing. instead of having its first spin-off 20 years later, maybe some of the characters woulda gotten their own series.
then i found i couldn't stop with just melding 2 series, thus was born the scooby doo reference.
if i had more beer i would surely make hundreds, if not thousands of these.

Kung Spock 1 by AngryAmerican 5-24-06

and so you see, the bridge is CURSED! He who crosses it only goes to his doom. The ghost takes his revenge! The premise that there is a supernatural being guarding the bridge is not logical. Empirical data does not support this theory. You mean maybe its just a crazy old man asking 3 questions of everyone who wishes to cross? That is my supposition. Perhaps i can test this theory by attempting to cross this bridge myself. Its just as i surmised. The bridge was merely a metaphor for a purely psychological phenomena. He kicked your ass didn't he?

Kung Spock 2 by AngryAmerican 5-24-06

and on my planet we chase the humans with manswatters to keep them out of our poppy fields... Please don't interrupt me while i'm having a flashback.... But Master Ho says that which is a butterfly surely cannot be a fish. Ah, but is it not written that that the the shark who swims with sheep shears not a lifetime of knowledge? It made sense at the time.

Kung Spock 3 by AngryAmerican 5-24-06

So... Hold on. I'm having another one. Blind Master Ha told me to sweep the leaves from the courtyard. But why bother when surely more leaves will fall? All leaves must fall. It is the will of the Infinite. Master Ha makes you sweep to teach you the Ways of the Dragon and Tiger. It is why he made you wax his cars and paint his fence. Wow. Look at the time... It was old man Crenshaw. he did it to scare everyone away from the castle because he knew there are rich plutonium deposits under it. And he would have gotten away with it...

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Kill Whitey.

Kung Spock 4 (the second season) by AngryAmerican 5-26-06

Do you not remember me Qui Spock? You killed my brother Ting Lo. Or should i say Aggravating Monkey, that is what those fools the Masters called him. I recall the confrontation that led to your siblings death. I was merely defending myself against his unwanted advances. I sought not his death. I shall have vengence 'grassmoker'. I will cut your unnatural ears from your still thrashing body! Violence begets violence. Nothing is accomplished through combat. Only by embracing the gentle flow of life's ceaseless wonder can one hope to change the world for the better. Or by having a phaser.

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Kill Whitey.

Kung Spock 5 (the second season) by AngryAmerican 5-26-06

But why does the mantis pray Blind Master Ha? Move closer and i will tell you young grassmoker. Why are you touching me there Blind Master Ha? Oh I'm sorry. I was reaching for my cane. My smooth, young, supple bald cane. Can I put my pants back on now? Do you want to learn about the mantis or not?

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Kill Whitey.

God, I hate Made-for-TV-Movies

We all know the story of Jesus Christ. Now learn the story of the donkey that carried him into Jerusalem that fateful Palm Sunday...

by HCRoyall, 5-26-06

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Biped takes it with a terminal butthole rash! Good job, Biped! Just hope that HBO scanners haven't picked up on the comic....

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old