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matclarke
herpes laden mug

Member Rated:

I've been staying with my friend Mike for a few weeks since the timely breakup with Denise. Upon the the completion of the second week of my sleeping on his couch, he suggested to me that I rotate the direction I sleep on his couch...seems that my large frame has been compacting the foam material in an irregular manner. So for the time being I will be sleeping 180 degrees to my previous position. Hopefully with time, a good level compaction of the couch will occur.

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obscenity filter is off

1-29-07 11:08am (new)
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not_Scyess
not laughing with you

Member Rated:

  With time, you could get your ass off the couch and move into your own place.  And by "With time" I mean "tomorrow".

 

--Mike

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

1-29-07 11:24am (new)
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matclarke
herpes laden mug

Member Rated:

Yes, yes I "could".

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obscenity filter is off

1-29-07 11:26am (new)
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UnknownEric
and the Goblet of Mountain Dew.

Member Rated:

I thought this thread was named "Coach" and I came prepared to discuss the acting nuances of Craig T. Nelson.

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I has a flavor!

1-29-07 12:40pm (new)
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BigEvilDan
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

That's funny, because I was about to start a thread asking how to get Craig T. Nelson off my goddamn couch, but now fate has delivered this one.

If only it hadn't also delivered Craig T. Nelson to my goddamn couch.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

1-29-07 1:18pm (new)
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matclarke
herpes laden mug

Member Rated:

I like the second pic, only because that guy looks like he's scratching his ass and trying to air out his balls.

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obscenity filter is off

1-29-07 3:42pm (new)
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BigFrank105
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

1-29-07 5:36pm (new)
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mandingo
weak stream

Member Rated:

UnknownEricit only would have taken that many letters too

BigEvilDanthat's why that voice you heard kept snickering every time it tried to get through "if you build it, he will come"

and you could always couch surf sororities, matty me boy, you pussy magnet you

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what if nigger meant kite

1-30-07 12:11am (new)
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AngryAmerican
Here at least 3 times a year

Member Rated:

matclarke

 

unfortunately most couches aren't really designed for us large mammals. i discovered this during my infamous 'mobile homeless couch tour' of '03.

when i grow up i'm going to get a couch 8 feet long and live on it.

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Kill Whitey.

1-30-07 1:32am (new)
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crackpanther
Recreational User

Member Rated:

AngryAmerican

 

unfortunately most couches aren't really designed for us large mammals. i discovered this during my infamous 'mobile homeless couch tour' of '03.

when i grow up i'm going to get a couch 8 feet long and live on it.


 

At least you're a big tall guy. Try being a big short guy; it usually goes like this:

 

Me - Do you have any jeans in a 38 waist and a 28 length?

Employee - hahaha

Me - Seriously

Employee- You don't need a 28 length. You need a 32.

Me - No, I would need a 32 if they actually measured 32 inches, but those actually measure somewhere in the neighborhood of 56 to 79 inches because all of a sudden it's attractive again to be built like Screech.

Employee - Who?

Me- How old are you?

Employee-16

Me - Wanna have sex?

Employee - ...

 

1-30-07 10:27am (new)
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BigFrank105
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

Are we talking about the same Couch?

1-30-07 10:32am (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

One night I fell asleep on a couch while watching TV, and had such a comfortable, refreshing sleep that the next night I got a blanket and bed pillow and slept on it again.  That was over twenty years ago, and I've slept on that same couch ever since.  Over time, it has reshaped itself to conform perfectly to the contours of my body.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

1-30-07 12:39pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

And it's full of your own loyal mites.

[IMG]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/boorite/dustmite2.jpg[/IMG]

 

While I was looking for pictures of mites, I also found this:

[IMG]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/boorite/groot-vis.jpg[/IMG]

You are really in trouble if those infest your sofa.

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What others say about boorite!

1-30-07 1:04pm (new)
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El_Phen
Does not play well with others.

Member Rated:

The UK leg of my "Couch Tour '04" included 5 couches in around 14-15 days in and around the London area. I REALLY know how to wear out a welcome quickly. Luckily I don't live in London any more and have both a couch AND a bed which aren't the same item! I just have to work out how to get one of those 'House' thingies to put them in.

1-30-07 1:28pm (new)
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