dictionary.com defines portmanteau like this:

portmanteau
noun1. a new word formed by joining two others and combining their meanings; "'smog' is a blend of 'smoke' and 'fog'"; "'motel' is a portmanteau word made by combining 'motor' and 'hotel'"; "'brunch' is a well-known portmanteau"

so only 1 rule in this contest--you have to create and use at least one portmanteau. has to be something new you created, not just an old one like smog or something

series welcome. i'll judge in a week or so. good luck, have fun

 

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what if nigger meant kite

RCL no. 1419 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-13-07

...and when you combine handjob with mandingo, you come up with "handjingo". HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO- whaaaat??

CC 347: (Just Like) Starting Over by umfumdisi 2-13-07

So I understand your people are altering their religious beliefs? Aye, but we still believe in pacificism. But there are other changes planned. For example, you're allowing yourself to be filmed. Truly, and from now on all our men are to take up the electric guitar and marry only foreign women who will then be blamed for breaking up the faith. So you'll no longer be known as Mennonites? Nay, we're now Lennonites.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

RCL no. 1420 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-13-07

Hey, Barkeep... Give me a fartini... Don't you mean MARTINI? What the heck is a "fartini"? It's a regular martini, except the bartender farts in it to give it a little flavor... What if he accidently shits in your fartini? That's known as a "dirty" fartini! Ewww!

CC 347: You'll appreciate this more if you're a geek by lukket 2-14-07

Hang on just a moment. I'm in the middle of a Vista install! Knock Knock Yes? I'm Dracula. You have to agree upon the Vista license together with me. But. Why Dracula? I guess it sounded better than "Draconian EULA"

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troelsea at gmail dot com

CC 347: A Frank (Fruity And Rank) Sexual Discussion 1 by biped 2-14-07

Mangina!!! MANGINA!!! Vageenis!!! VAGEENIS!!! HOLD ON, you two! What on earth is the big hubbub? We learned about hermaphrodites in "sex ed" today, and I say they have a mangina!!! A MANGINA!!! No!!! NO!! Vageenis!!! VAGEENIS!!! WHAT...THE FUCK...IS GOING ON IN HERE?!?

CC 347: A Frank (Fruity And Rank) Sexual Discussion 2 by biped 2-14-07

ED!!! You used...the "F" word! In front of the CHILDREN!!! No, I didn't. It's a "portmanteau"...a combination of the words "facetious" and "muck." FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK YOU!!! Well, did you do your homework, children? FUCK, yeah! We FUCKED our BRAINS OUT!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

- by dcomposed 2-14-07

Finally my deadly crossbreed of fire ants and maggots is complete. Now there is only one thing left to do. Release the faggots to the unsuspecting city.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Poonicious Vibes by Scyess 2-14-07

Hey, Clive. You're looking interesting today. Thanks, Jon. I'm securing my rep with my duds' poonicious vibes. Now remind me again why a 49-year-old gay investment banker needs poonicious vibes...? I always say, "He who can bury the cocks can pick the stocks." I'm getting slightly worried the Earth will soon be crushed by the gravity of your pooniciously massive mid-life crisis. *sob* Please shoot me.

Unremarkable Arts by Scyess 2-14-07

Ever vigilant, the master senses an impending challenge. I just got stood up twice in a row by the same guy. Ha! I was once stood up every Friday night for a year by a girl with exotropia! Your pathos-fu is strong. I will teach you. Let's go play video games for 18 straight hours.

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"Old" is the old new.

Obviously, not an entry:

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Awkward Definitions: Gaytheist

Gaythiest: Someone who doesn't believe in Hell because Heaven is absolutely FAAAAbulous. C'mon Jai, yer comin with me, to HELL!!!! No Can do Assmodeous, you aren't color coordinated.

by NastyPope, 2-15-07

See the rest of this set at http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/NastyPope/sets/awkdefs/

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Groovy! - What if whoman meant kike? by edoggydog 2-15-07

When you combine a whore with a human, you get a "whoman"... Groovy! You're turn... Okay... When you combine a gorilla with a nigger, you get more NIGGERS! What?

Battery Powered Cars: Two D Cells in This Case by Scyess 2-14-07

I've discovered a way to make a fully functioning car using mostly anal lube. I'm calling it the "gelopy." Why not the "assomobile"? I tried that, but it was already reserved for the hearse they're going to use for Dick Cheney's funeral. I guess someone's looking forward to a stiff Dick in the assomobile.

More of the Same by Scyess 2-15-07

Hey, baby. Did you see me roll up? I couldn't miss the giant ameoba. That's not an ameoba! The gelopy is a car made mostly from anal lube. Really? That sounds like a perfect compliment to my bi-analwartcream-cycle.

Slowly Beating This One to Death by Scyess 2-15-07

Because the gelopy is made mostly of anal lube, it's easy to squeeze it into tight parking spots. It also offers unprecidentedly smooth acceleration. And just wait until I tell you about the t- PLEASE don't tell me about the tail pipe.

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"Old" is the old new.

RCL no. 1422 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-15-07

Hey, Stickboy... [*slurp* ] Hey, Frank... What's up? I just got done working my wife's pussy six ways to Sunday! I left her in bed with one, big "vagina-sore-aus"! HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA... *SLUUURRRRPPP* Will this "BRADness" ever END?

This can't possibly win, since getting the punchline takes some thought.

 

CC 347: Port whine by NeoVid 2-15-07

Hean! What the hell's that supposed to mean? It's "Hey, man" shortened by using just the first two letters and last two letters. I thought I'd try a new way to make slang and try to be cool and original. It's not cool and original to come up with something that dumb. Shortening them like that... just makes you sound like an asle. Or a shed.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

NeoVid

Don't be silliculous, it's not that fucard to figure out!

CC 347: Cycloptometrist

We only have two patients!?! We might have more if you'd stop fitting everyone for monocles and eyepatches!

by umfumdisi, 2-15-07

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

And one to grow on...

CC 347: Wait For It by umfumdisi 2-15-07

What's wrong? Your cunt don't smell like shrimp-fried rice! I'm using these new feminine hygiene products for freshness and "atoning for extreme and delicate beauty while still being highly edible." Nice ... what are they called? Supercalifragilisticexpialidouches.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Groovy! - The NBgAy on gAyBC and ESPeNis by edoggydog 2-16-07

Ex-NBA player, John Amaechi, admitted in his new book that he is homosexual. To wit, Tim Hardaway says that he hates gays... Amaechi responded that Hardaway's comments were detrimental to gays, and that EVERYONE should accept the gay lifestyle... I say, SUCK MY DICK, AMAECHI!! Okay. Groovy!

CC 347: Stick it up your portmanteau

...So then I said "No, ROCK is a portmanteau of 'Robotic and Cock' why would I enjoy shoving a piece of stone up there?" The police picked me up about two weeks later and here I am. How 'bout you?

by El_Phen, 2-16-07

This is awful, but it's the best I could do...I need sleep. I'm sorry.

cc347: portmanteau fever by ojcme 2-16-07

Hey man, I'm sorry about the fact that we're stuck on this desert island together. Nah, don't worry bout it man. Hey, let's do portmanteaus! What are those? Combining two words to make another one! Get this: Nigerian oil riggers combines into niggers! Yeah, well, laugh it up all you want, you white asexual cracker. That one's easy, it's wacker.

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Hooray for catharsis!

Doctor Who? by choadwarrior 2-16-07

This box is more than just a teleporter. Once inside, you'll see it is a giant room. What else does it do? It makes science fiction fans become child-like morons who completely lose any semblance of disbelief. What do you call it? The RETARDIS.

Did science fiction fans need a machine for that?

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

CC 347: 100% Puree by umfumdisi 2-17-07

I can't believe your girlfriend killed herself. I know. And she burned all her possessions first. I didn't think I'd have anything to remember her by. You "didn't think?" What did you do? I drained as much bodily fluid from her as I could and poured it into a half empty gallon of apple juice. So that's not beer you're drinking? Nope. Suicider.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 347: N a Portmanteau by not_Scyess 2-17-07

The university's new policy is to refer to all departments all by initials except for the last word. What do you mean? For example, Chemical Engineering will be CEngineering, and Women's Studies will be WStudies. Okay. But WHY? Just to piss off the Fine Arts department. Rock on.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

RCL no. 1428 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-19-07

Rast night, my boyfriend, Scott, shot a big wad of SCUM in my face! Scum? Hai... "Scum" is a portmanteau of my boyfriend's name, and the slang word for semen. What you do rast night? Oh... I went over to Shilo's house and ate a big plate of SHIT... Ha, ha! You think we win contest with this comic? Maybe, you should go give the judge a handjingo for good measure...