Okay, so this is sparked by me coming home early-ish from work today (thanks, illness) and arriving to see my roommates clothes, as well as his girlfriends, on the living room floor. I have never felt so awkward for coming home early in my life.

Which leads me to reminisce about my previous roommates

1. Crazy, psycho, I'm-totally-still-stuck-in-high-school-despite-the-fact-that-i'm-26 roommate. She liked to come home at 3 in the morning and slam the door hard enough that I'd wake up. When I left her a note about it, she slammed the door so hard that my mirror fell off my wall. And my room is in the exact polar opposite end of the house. Joy.

2. Stompy, complainy, I-drive-a-Miata-so-that-makes-me-cooler-than-you roommate. He liked to leave dishes out until someone else did them, and then got angry when we talked to him about it.

3. Best friend from high school + her boyfriend roommates. 'Nuff said.

4. Incredibly erratic university roommate. She liked to drink a bottle of Baby Duck and pass out after locking all the doors and talking to her friend on her cell phone.

Everyone has had terrible roommates in the past, and/or awkward situations. So spill!

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

my roommate when I was a freshman had the same name as me, and we liked to pee in trash cans.

when I moved into an apartment, however, my roommates liked smoking crack

you win some, you lose some

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xx( o Y o. )xx

When you get married, nothing changes.  You still can't avoid the lunacy.

* advice from a bitter old divorced woman 

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

I didn't want to type the whole thing over again and figured posting all the comics would be a pain, so here's the link to the set I made about all the crazy people I've lived with over my lifetime:

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ivytheplant/sets/crazypeople/

And that is why I vowed to never live with another human ever again. Fortunately, boorite is not quite human.

I must have lucked out. I've had a handful of roommates, and all of them have been nice people to live with. The only beef I have with my current roommate (and wife) is that she really enjoys moving furniture around. I came home once a few months ago and found that she'd moved our sofa and two good size chairs despite being 8 months pregnant.

Other than the furniture moving addiction, she does her share of the housework as well as being the person who has a real job and gets me and the kids those important things like food and clothing.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I think I've had my venting about my two roommates who moved out last month after giving me all of two days notice. Other than that I haven't really had roommates I could complain about.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Males who drive Miatas are not cool. Remember that.

And last year (my freshman year) my roommate was in Army ROTC, which meant every Friday morning he had to wake up at 5:45 AM for exercises and such. However, he seemed to have a thing for getting shit trashed every Thursday night, meaning that I was awakened every Friday morning by his alarm AND his phone going off and was forced to wake him. Other than th at he was a pretty cool guy.

I take back my previous statement. My very first roommate ever, the one from my first year in college, wounldn't wake up when his alarm clock went off. So it'd be going off for like five minutes, and I'd have to crawl out of the top bunk, shut it off, and then kick him until he woke up. That got old fast.

So I guess all my roommates haven't been perfect. He also kept a bong in his fridge. And he was from Bangor, ME and worked at a pizza shop that Stephen King frequented. So that was pretty cool.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

So, probably my most memorable roommate story involves the last time that lara7 and I went to the movies...

[Click to view comic: 'Roommates']

[edited by Drexle on 04-16-07 at 10:04:24pm]

I should add that this event was doubly remarkable because said roommate had his girlfriend living with him in his room the whole summer. I read an article about this event that featured an interview with the actors in that parcitular film entry in the local entertainment paper. It stated that my ex-roommate is "gay for pay," which I suppose explains why he was always coming and going at all hours of the day and night.

technically, i had 3 roommates in college, but in reality it was more like 7 because the apartment above us were always at our place drinking. the thing was, the 7 fuckers were always drinking. now usually i'm down with this in a big big way, but they were all pilots and their curriculum was easy as shit, whereas i was going for an engineering degree and taking insanely hard classes at a place so demanding it's dubbed 'the harvard of the sky.' so i'm trying to study for these insane courses with music or the tv blaring and a bunch of drunks running around. and i'm irish. and there's liquor. but i have to study. but i'm irish. and there's liquor.

it felt like it had been perfectly constructed to torment me, like one of the levels of hell from dante's inferno

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what if nigger meant kite

gabe_billings

I had a roommate that went 4.5 hours on 7 minute snoozes once. Me and my other roommates were going about our business and after the 10th snooze or so, we just laughed and took bets as to when he'd just get the hell up. I believe the highest bet was just half of his total of near 40 snoozes.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

oops, damn the back button.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

gabe_billings

I hated that ritual. I also hated discovering a fresh pool of puke that he'd sometimes leave on the rug right by his bed as well, which I was forced to clean up because he didn't come back into the evening.

My university roommate (as in the one whom I actually physically shared a room with... we technically had two more roommates that we shared a bathroom with) liked to leave half-eaten cans of Habitol Pea Soup all over the place. It stunk up the room so hard.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

I used to live with this one girl who worked at a peep show place. It was called The Big Eye. She was pretty hot but always fucked up on a nice booze/coke/xanax cocktail. My other roommate would end up in her room half the time as did just about anyone else that came over drunk. I remember I had a black lacquer water-bed, it was sweet. I still miss it although my back doesn't. I used to find rolled-up 20's all the time in the bathroom, I figured they were just leaving some living expenses for me.

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obscenity filter is off

You can come and sleep in our living room, we have like 8 pull-out couches.

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Poop.

Rabid_Weasle

Because you run a crack house.

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What others say about boorite!

It's true! I enjoy the making and distrubution of crack!

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Poop.

And I enjoy purchasing said crack and "tripping balls"!

I enjoy the initial euphoria but find that the resulting down-regulation of dopamine D2 receptors in my brain diminishes my capacity to experience pleasure.

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What others say about boorite!

That can be overcome by asking the crack-ho to rub harder.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

some talkshow host asked a crackhead how much they spent on crack a day and they said something like "i need $250 to get well, i need $500 to get high." that blew my mind. that's exactly how i am with nutter butters. same dollar amount and everything

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what if nigger meant kite

mandingo

If it were me, I'd just head up to the supposidly vaccant upstairs apartment to do my studying - quickly, so that I could get back to the nutritious beverages.

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Mediocrity at its most average.