Okay, so I totally saw the Transformers movie tonight. I have my thoughts and opinions about it, but I don't want to say anything until I know if anyone else has seen it yet. As well, I may be somewhat of a biased opinion, not have been fully commited to the cartoon when it was on. I mean, I saw the occaisonal episode, and was amazed with the toys that my cousin had... But I was a girl, growing up in the late 80's/early 90's. I watched My Little Pony and Princess Lovelylocks more than Transformers. Hence why I am not putting forth my opinions on the movie, as I have no idea if it stayed true to the original show or not.

So I pose the question: Who has seen the movie, and what do you think of it?

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

I saw it, I thought it could've used more action.

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Clever Signature

the previews look lame. i want to see big pieces of it transforming, like an arm being tucked into the underside of a car. looks like it's a bunch of little pieces. little pieces are for pussies

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what if nigger meant kite

I was never into the TV show, it was before my time and it being a cartoon from the 80s is no doubt shit so watching it now would be futile. I was big into the toys as a kid, though.

With that said, I did see the movie and I thought it was better than expected. Shia LaBoeuf did not suck as much as I thought he would, which gives me a little more hope for Indy IV. So far it's been the only huge budget summer blockbuster movie I've seen this summer that's been worth seeing.

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Poop.

I saw it, and was really struck be the way that MICHAEL BEY RAPED MY CHILDHOOD!!

No, I haven't seen it.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

its typical michael bay. alot of action but no real story. notice the only one that dies sounds black

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xx( o Y o. )xx

Yea, the black one who died was also the only transformer who wasn't formally introduced. But at least he put up an awesome fight.

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Clever Signature

So first off, remember this is a movie based on toys from the 80's and is about giant space robots smashing shit up. Why anyone expected more is beyond me.

There weren't so much plot "holes" as there were plot "chasms," about five minutes of exposition would have fixed most of those problems, the camera angles were way too close in a lot of places, and they could have made more of an attempt at color distinction (had a hard time telling Ironhide from Decepticons or telling Decepticons apart).

Some of the painful cheesiness was pretty indicative of the original series (breakdancing with Hispanic inner city youth, for example) and wasn't out of place at all. There were some classic lines from the 1986 movie, classic themes from the cartoon (Starscream as Megatron's whipping boy), the original Optimus Prime voice, and most importantly, giant space robots smashing shit up.

I loved every minute of it. People who complain about Michael Bay, lack of original Megatron voice, modernization of the Transformers, and other reasons why it's not like the cartoon are whiny idiots who forget that they would have shit their pants in joy if this movie existed when they were little kids. Movie based on toys from the 80's. Remember that.

I like the part where there were robots.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

LuckyGuess

And they smashed shit up.

Jam Rabid and Ivy's reviews together and that'll sum it up very well.

I thought it was thoroughly entertaining but could have been better with some quick, easy changes (as Ivy said, some of the scenes were a bit too IN the action). I'm all for a sequel. Bi-ass robots just never get boring for me. Throw in some zombies and I don't need any other movie.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

FinnNYC

Didn't take them long to make a porno version

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

I thought they did a really good job. Like I mentioned before, I didn't ever see/play/do anything with Transformers growing up.

Shia LeBeof did a fantastic job. To me, his character was totally believable. Which I guess is kind of ridiculous, seeing as he's a kid who buys a car that transforms into a robot... but still.

Some of the action scenes were filmed a little too closely, and to quote my brother "it seemed like they just threw the camera around during the action".

The bad part about this movie is that now whenever I see a semi or an ambulance/fire-truck, I want to assume that its going to transform into a robot. Its such a disappointment when they don't.

Also this

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

When I was a little kid, the only toy we had was a BALL...on a STRING...tied to a STICK!

Bahhhh! Let's see them make a movie outa that! Hurumph!

 oooo..and Aquaman dolls...with little wires in them that poked out his elbows when you bent his arms too many times!

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

little_kitty

We were disappointed with that too. Though it might have been better that our big red truck didn't turn into a big red robot...

When they first announced that they were making a live-action (if that term really even applies here) version of Transformers, I rented the original movie to take me back to my childhood.  It was then I made a discovery which was so screamingly obvious that it shouldn't've had to be a discovery at all, and yet no one seems to understand this:

The original cartoon sucked.

A LOT.

Most disappointments I had with the movie had to do with the fact that it was too close to the original cartoon, which -- did I metion this? -- is horribly awfully terrible to anyone over the age of 8.  Any insipid dialog, plot holes, questionable motivation, etc. brought me right back.  Although the pathetically cheesy, forced romance subplot was new for the PG-13 movie.

That having been said, it did deliver the action and was fun to watch.  I did enjoy it and even saw it twice (since my friend who hadn't seen it yet wanted me to go with her.)  Here's my list of what I think were the good points and bad points:

Good 

I'm glad Megatron didn't turn into a gun.  A 30' tall robot should not be able to turn into a handheld weapon -- even if the city-block size cube thing somehow turned into a lunchbox a child could run around with.

Original voice of Optimus Prime!  That was above and beyond the call of duty.  Excellent.

Optimus Prime looked awesome.  So did most of the robots, when on their own.  But Optimus had the new paint job and was just rad.

I also like that they updated the vehicles.  I mean, they had to -- no one would really want to see a bunch of early 80's cars speeding down the road -- but they did a good job of it, I think.

Bad

It is true that the action was often so fast that it was hard to tell which robot was fighting whom.  I think color distinction would've been a great idea.  I spent half the end battle thinking Starscream was Megatron and vice versa.

Plot holes are to be expected in a movie like this.  However, the one that bugged me the most is that the transformers seem to be able to choose their Earth-vehicle digusies by scanning a vehicle and becoming it.  The whole process takes all of 8 seconds.  What the fuck is the point of transforming if you can just scan whatever you want to be and become it instantly?

And I hated the part when the computer chick used the phrase "brute force algorithm" like it was cutting edge technology.  A brute force algorithm is basically the dumbest way you can do something:  e.g. trying every possible length of line in existence at random places to try to make an icoceles triangle.  They couldn't have gotten one of the 4 billion Koreans in the animation department to produce the name of an intelligent algorithm?  Geez.

little_kitty

Yeah.  Me too.  That's awesome, though.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

not_Scyess

Indeed it did. Sucked much hard ass. But it doesn't stop me from actually watching it now and then. In a world of shows like Lost and Heroes, where you can't miss five minutes, much less a whole episode without being completely lost, it's nice to sit down with something that is completely ridiculous and can be followed by a 3 year old. That's why I love it, because it's so bad and so cheesy, not to mention one of the few high points of my childhood (well, that and Canada).

I'm going to go stare at my Geo and hope that if I concentrate hard enough, it will transform into a (smaller) space robot and start stomping on people. 

The above reason is why I bought Thundercats on DVD.

Even if I skip an episode or two, I can always be sure that yes, Cat's Lair is STILL under attack.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

LuckyGuess
And that, yes, Cheetara would still be a great lay.

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I has a flavor!

ivytheplant

SWEET! It would be the Autobot that once was an okay Autobot, is still kind of an okay Autobot, but still isn't as cool as a Sunbird. Or Tempo/Topaz.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

I just saw it like 15 minutes ago. For all the people criticising it, DIDN'T YOU SEE THE GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS BLOWING SHIT UP!?!?

I'll confess I didn't know which transformer was which though, the camera was far too close and they all looked alike.

Not that I'm racist or anything.

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

I really want to see the movie, but then I realized that I can think of better ways to watch a 90 minute commercial for General Motors. So how about that Simpsons movie then? :O

There is no better way to watch a GM commercial than seeing giant space robots smash shit up for 90 minutes.

Heathen.

To everyone who said the G1 cartoon sucked: Fuck you. It's fucking great.

The 1986 movie alone has better animation quality than 90% of Disney's crap. The voice acting was some of the best any American cartoon has ever had. And, god damn it, the writing had stuff actually *happening* over the course of the show without the cheapass long pauses you see everywhere else in other cartoons (eastern and western stuff has this problem). Stack it up against any other cartoon from the 80's and Transformers KICKS THEIR ASSES (okay, except for Season 3, but Season 3 is still above average even if not toally bloody fucking awesome like seasons 1 and 2 or the movie).

On to my review of the movie. I saw it July 3 and posted my review the same day elsewhere. I'll copy paste it here:

Final reaction: underwhelmed. The first 1/3 - 1/2 was okay (with some flaws), then it hit a really weak spot and finally managed to recover a bit at the end with the grand slam finale. Regrettably, the writing, while better than the newer Transformers from Japan, is still inferior to your average G1 episode from seasons 1 and 2.

The original movie beats this one hands down. (I may one day do a side-by-side comparison of the two showing why the 1986 movie is superior, but later.)

The Good:

Peter Cullen - It was great to hear him again. It's clear his voice has gotten deeper as he's aged, but when I heard him it was clear he still has his chops. When he said "One shall stand, one shall fall" I went "Whoo!" in the theater. One of the best of Prime's lines and he delivered it spot on.

Bumblebee - I like this Bumblebee more than his G1 version. This version was able to fight (good scene against Barricade) and hold his own. Good to see him not be useless for a change.

Jon Voight - Good choice for the Secretary of Defense.

Sam Witwicky - The actor they picked is okay. I liked the additional characterization of him - he's much more realistic than G1's Spike. They should have used him a bit less, though (see below). Overall, the subplot of him and the girl wasn't annoying and he wasn't as generally useless as Spike. I do wish they'd named the girl Carly.

The Army Guys - Nice! I like the inclusion of a human lead who can hold his own in combat and can realistically stand up to the Decepticons. I hear they based the guys on GI Joes, which was a good move.

CGI - Good special effects. I like the redesigns of the Transformers and the action was pretty good, save for what's noted below.

The Weak:

Camera work - I hate the shaky cam nonsense they used in the action scenes. Holding the camera still would've let me appreciate the CGI more. As is, it was all blurry. Would've been nice to see Prime and Megatron's guns in more detail!

Hugo Weaving - Everytime Megatron opened his mouth, I was expecting Frank Welker and got...Hugo Weaving. I honestly thought Hugo would do a good job with the role, but he simply didn't have the menace Megatron requires. Welker was sorely needed, as his Megatron voice suited the redesign much more. At least they have him in the video game...

The Prime vs. Megatron Battle - I'm sorry, but Prime is supposed to be Megatron's physical equal if not superior. Part of Megatron's character is that he is at heart a coward - he's afraid of losing control, which is why he pursues his agenda of conquest. This makes him fundamentally weaker than Prime, which is why Optimus can beat him.

Their fight was less of an epic confrontation and more of that "Megatron beats Prime up until a miracle saves the day" crap from the newer cartoons. Someone should have made the writers study every nuance of the 1986 movie fight and drilled it into their brains.

"Comedy" - Some humor is okay. But the weakest part of the movie comes just after the Autobots arrive when they're at Sam's house. The scene goes on too long. Definite editing needed there.

Section 7 - Right after the house scene, the movie hits a second weak spot, where the writers went "we need to get all the characters in one spot, how do we do it?" and pulled something out. This needed better plotting. The S7 guys were a bunch of poorly down MiB parodies. The main S7 guy was going for a Tony Shaloub look, but fails. The bearded guy in charge was good, though.

The Bad:

Bernie Mac - WHY?! He sucks. His appearance weakened the film and took away from the overall humor of seeing Bumblebee's new form next to a yellow VW Bug. Definitely needed to be played differently and by a different actor.

Anthony Anderson - Did they have a clearance on "fat unfunny comedians" when they did casting? Another character that should've been rewritten or scrapped.

Jazz's Death - WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS?! You do NOT kill a G1 character like that! He gets maybe a couple lines, then you see him briefly fight Megatron, then "RIP!" he's in two pieces and dead. It ranks up there with Brawn's death from the 1986 movie where he dies of a shoulder wound.

What was even worse was Prime's response: here's Jazz, his 1st Lieutenant, dead at the hands of Megatron. Yet he barely gives the body a glance before saying, "We have lost old friends, but we have gained new ones." Yeah. Great tribute to your old friend.

Too much puny humans! - I can understand focusing on the humans in the first half. It helps establish emotional connections needed so you care about the cast and don't wish them dead. But after the Autobots arrived, the focus should've shifted to the robots. We never really understand their motivations or backgrounds. Prime gives a brief overview of the Allspark and what happened on Cybertron, but the writers needed MORE of this. A detailed sequence showing Megatron and Prime interacting before the war would've helped give the viewers an understanding of what was going on. Simply relying on the comics was a bad move.

I think, in the end, the writers did make the cardinal sin everyone was anticipating: they assumed people would want to see the humans more than the robots so they could "empathize." You know what? Screw empathy. People love Transformers because of the robots, not the people. But they gave us no real depth to them. Lacking are the unique personalities of the G1 cartoon that gave rise to the fandom.

Things they need to improve for the sequel:

1. More robots, less humans. Let's have the story told with Prime as the main character next time around. Dinobots, Constructicons, and Soundwave are planned for the next one, so that should let them focus on the robots more. Decepticons were in sore need of some personality other than "GRAR, KILL HUMANS!"

2. Get better writers. Simon Furman did a great job with the comics based in this continuity (the comics read better than the movie itself in many cases). He's the most experienced Transformers writer alive, so he can do what the writers here failed to do.

3. Get rid of all the bad comedians gumming up the works. At least Mac has no reason to appear again. I hope he doesn't.

Xuanwu

You mean except for the part in the 1986 movie where they killed Optimus, Ratchet, Ironhide, Brawn, Windcharger, Prowl, Huffer, Red Alert, Shockwave, Scrounge, Starscream, Ratchet, Wheeljack...

And about that 1986 movie...sometime try asking the writers for the G1 series how they felt about it. See if they can do it without cursing. My favorite part is where the series writers heard the producers were interested in a movie, so they wrote one. Then they were told the movie was already written by someone else and in production and by the way, we're killing off almost everyone but some new characters we're adding because the 1984 toy line has been discontinued and we need to introduce a new one.