My so-called friends have set me up on a "blind date" type of thing. Naturally, I realized the best place to come for thoughtful, sagely advice would be Stripcreator. How would you studs (and studettes) suggest I make a favorable impression on the future Bride of Zaster?

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I met my wife on a blind date and charmed her by wearing a retarded outfit and leaving before her.

So, do that.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

Tighten the bolts in your neck and maybe touch them up if the paint's starting to fade.

Also, a mixed bouqet of flowers is an old but worthwhile tradition.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Showittoher

Umm... Superman dat ho?

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I has a flavor!

Take her to Denny's.  Make sure she understands that this is your idea of high-tone class.  When the waitre d' comes to show you to your booth, use the cool two-fingered underhand method to slip her a dollar and say under your breath, "Away from the restrooms."  Order an open-faced sandwich.  When you get the bill, confidently determine how much her half is going to be without using a calculator.  Let a name-brand condom fall out of your wallet while paying to let her know you practice safe, protected sex.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Tell her you're a stripper and give her a business card which is just the URL of your comics page.  When you're on the date, say, "LOL" a lot.  (It's pronounced "el - oh - el.")

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Just be yourself.

What? Someone had to say it.

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Kill Whitey.

Why?  You were just paraphrasing what I said.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

fruit up the ass

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what if nigger meant kite

vegetables=more dignified

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

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Platinum dildo=won't squelch on pleasure

So the whole "international jewel thief" persona is a no go?

Hmm. I'm making careful note of all these suggestions. I can't decide between the bouquet of mixed flowers, or the fresh produce up the kiester.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

When the check arrives just straight up ask her for a blowjob. Assuming she angrily says "NO!" (and lets face it she probably will) you wear an insulted expression, look her in the eyes and exclaim, "I was gonna do you to!" then storm out.

Free fucking meal, dude.

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Poop.

Fuck her with a rake.

Make her laugh a lot, and listen for if it's real or fake.  If it's fake, follow not_Scyess' LOL advice.  If it's real, follow mandingo's advice. 

Oh, and if it's your friends who set this up, promptly change the location with her and don't let them know where you're going.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

id go with the retarded outfit method

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xx( o Y o. )xx

Yes, that bit of wardrobe advice does seem well considered, but I already have the best ever outfit all picked out:

Dressing up as an ear of corn should convince her that I'm a good listener. Eh? Ear? Listener? Pretty clever, right? How can this not win her over?

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Zaster Yes, that bit of wardrobe advice does seem well considered, but I already have the best ever outfit all picked out: http://static.flickr.com/115/294182298_18c0bc6ee8.jpg[/img] Dressing up as an ear of corn [i]should convince her that I'm a good listener. Eh? Ear? Listener? Pretty clever, right? How can this not win her over?

Ahhhh, That's where "Shucking corn" comes from :)

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

christopher7murphy Yes, that bit of wardrobe advice does seem well considered, but I already have the best ever outfit all picked out: http://static.flickr.com/115/294182298_18c0bc6ee8.jpg[/img] Dressing up as an ear of corn [i]should convince her that I'm a good listener. Eh? Ear? Listener? Pretty clever, right? How can this not win her over?

Ahhhh, That's where "Shucking corn" comes from :)

 And peep that "aw shucks" grin

RedfeatheR Yes, that bit of wardrobe advice does seem well considered, but I already have the best ever outfit all picked out: http://static.flickr.com/115/294182298_18c0bc6ee8.jpg[/img] Dressing up as an ear of corn [i]should convince her that I'm a good listener. Eh? Ear? Listener? Pretty clever, right? How can this not win her over?

Ahhhh, That's where "Shucking corn" comes from :)

 And peep that "aw shucks" grin

Looks too much like a stalker.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

That was a corny joke, ha ha, get it: "corny."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I like the corn... just "crop" out that asshole in the middle

This thread is now about poo.

And blind dates, still.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

No it isn't. This is Zaster's thread and concerns the possibility of true love, therefore it is sacred.

I was going to post some relevant images that were sure to get a chuckle, but Photobucket has seen fit to lose my password, so picture some clever shit.

Thanks.

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Kill Whitey.